The Songs of The Grief Book

At three in the morning yesterday... err, today, I sent off a draft of my latest YA novel to my agent. We'll call it The Grief Book for now since that is how I operate--no real titles, just vague descriptions--when talking about book that are not yet published in public. It's a contemporary YA about girl who's lost her older brother, and while not really coping with that, ends up in an emotionally abusive relationship. I've been working on it since August. I've been completely immersed in getting it finished for the past couple weeks. It's been practically all I thought about, so I almost don't know what to do with myself now. I'm still just living it, in my head, and especially, as usual through music.

For a long time I couldn't write while listening to music. I would create playlists of songs that reminded me of the story that I would listen when do everything but writing to keep me inspired, but while I was typing, especially drafting, my office remained silent. That started to change last year with the (abandoned for now, but being rethought) Modern Myth YA, and when I started working on The Grief Book, I realized I needed a certain sound and I needed it on repeat while working. Those bands have shifted and changed from the beginning to the end (because you do get sick of listening to the same thing day in and day out, no matter how much you love it) and my playlist for this book is a couple of scattered songs mixed with full albums and sometimes entire catalogs of certain bands. There's over a hundred songs on it.... and I still think I listened to it at least twice yesterday.

Anyway since that music still feels like MY SOUL right now because this book is still MY SOUL, I thought I'd share some of it via this YouTube playlist. 

It's pretty much in the order that I discovered that I needed the songs/bands as my muse. The two Hole songs have been with me since I started this project and so has the Dinosaur Jr. song. They were the first band I was inspired to listen to over and over again while writing. Green Mind, Where You Been, and Without a Sound are all on the playlist in full.

I added Farewell Continental to my list of inspirations pretty early on, too, and "New Tile Floor" especially speaks to the story/characters. The Wheels are a local band whose whole EP is on my playlist, but "Front Porch" is the song I listen to most.  I have a character named Riley and one named Justin and the songs with their names in suit them or their story arc in a way. The first Sunny Day Real Estate album is on the playlist mostly in full, but "In Circles," is totally a theme song. "Reach for the Sky" and "Blackbird" both figure into the story directly. "Try" could be a theme song for my main character, Meredith, and "What Sarah Said" pretty much sums up the worst day of her life, and "One Last Time" by Veruca Salt (which I sadly couldn't find a full version of on YouTube) is telling of her relationship. As for "Say Hello to Heaven," well, it is The Grief Book.

In terms of the other bands whose albums appear in full on my personal playlist, when I needed to go beyond Dinosaur Jr., I turned to Hum, a favorite from my high school years, whose music and lyrics work as well as Dinosaur setting the mood for this story. The Soulsavers were my biggest discovery during the writing of this book. My friend Jenny introduced me to them at the end of January and I pretty much listened to their albums "Broken" and "It's Not How Far You Fall, It's How You Land" on repeat for the past two months while shaping the last part of the book. When I needed a break from that, and was craving a female voice, I realized Mazzy Star was perfect.

So there it is, the new book in songs.

And now to take a week or two off while my agent reads it. Well, now to TRY to take a week off from it mentally.

The lowdown on my WIP

A couple weeks ago, my lovely CP Jenny Seay tagged me in a meme wherein you share some info on the novel you are working on. I've been doing my best to stay offline and work on said novel-in-progress, but I'm up early and thought answering a few q's about it might actually get me in the mindset to work on it after a weekend mostly off. Plus, I know I don't blog much anymore and it's been ages since I've had a book out, so I feel I owe you something besides my Rookie pieces.

What is the title of your next book?
Oh hmmm, this is not a good way to start off, but I'm very superstitious about sharing titles until the book is at least done and being shopped. So I have been referring to it publicly as The Contemporary YA... I will give you this, the working title comes from a Hole song....

Where did the idea come for the book?
In 2010, it rained so hard in my area that my basement flooded twice and the floods were exactly one month apart. It was stressful, but in dealing with it, I thought it could have been worse, especially if things of irreplaceable sentimental value had been down there. From there, my writer's imagination spiraled and I thought, what if a teenage girl's older brother had recently died and his room had been in the basement. I've found myself writing about grief a lot lately because I lost a friend in 2008, so this became an outlet for dealing with my own grief in a way. Also, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship in high school and have wanted to write a story that deals with that for a long time, When I got to know Meredith, my main character, I realized that in trying to run from her grief and be "normal," she'd wound up in an unhealthy relationship. Oh and last but not least, since my book is set in place close to where BALLADS is set, I thought it might fun to refer back to that book in some way (I love it when Sarah Dessen and other authors do this!). Meredith attends a grief therapy group and I thought who better to lead that group than a grown-up Cass.

What genre does your book fall under?
Young Adult/Contemporary Fiction

What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?
Oh god, I am horrible at this sort of thing. The only actor I've ever imagined playing any of my characters is that I can see Madeleine Martin from Californication as Emily from IWBYJR. I don't have an actor in mind at ALL for Meredith. She tried very hard to be the normal teenage girl who blends in and she basically does. She's medium height with dirty blonde hair that she prefers to wear in a ponytail and she's thinner than she should be. So if anyone comes to mind, please tell me. It would be nice to have an image of her/start a Pinterest for this book.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
Crap, horrible at this, too!!!! Umm....Okay, on the fly back jacket copy is the best I can do...
It's been almost a year since sixteen year-old Meredith Bell lost her older brother, Justin, and she's been trying to convince herself and everyone around her that she's fine. In fact her life couldn't be better, especially since she started dating Bret, a hot guitarist who she's been crushing on since freshman year. But when she discovers a connection between Bret and two people in her grief therapy group and Bret's grows increasingly controlling and overprotective, Meredith's perfect, "normal" world begins to fall apart.


Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
It will be represented by my amazing agent, Adrienne Rosado.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?
It's still in progress. Aiming to finish a shitty first draft by the end of February (with the help of the Ruby Slippered Sisterhood Winter Writing Festival!). Came up with the idea in November of 2010 and wrote the first few chapters while I was struggling with my bartender book. Started working on it in earnest in August of 2012.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
Um, my own? But I strive to write something as powerful as Holly Cupala, Sara Zarr, and Courtney Summers regularly do.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?
My own struggles with grief and an emotionally abusive relationship

What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?

Structurally the book is written alternating present and past tense. We meet Meredith on the day when everything really falls apart and flip back and forth between that and how it all happened. I posted an excerpt from the first past tense section on facebook last week. Here's a chunk from the present tense. This is how the book begins: 

When someone destroys something that really matters to you it’s worse than a punch in the face.

At least I think it might be. He never hit me, but sometimes I wish he had.

Actually I wish he would do it right now.

That’s a sick thing to wish for, isn’t it? But if he took a swing at me—especially here, in the middle of our high school hallway when it’s at max capacity moments before the first bell—it would all be out in the open for everyone to see and I would be able to stop questioning if the things he does are wrong because hitting someone definitely is.

Black-and-blue is black-and-white. It’s not a misunderstanding, a signal I misread, a joke that I didn’t get because I don’t have a sense of humor anymore, or something I’m blowing out of proportion because I’m crazy. No one would be able to say, “Meredith, it’s all in your head.” Not him, not Abby, not even me.

That’s not how he operates, though.

I already have an idea of what is going to happen. When I accidentally glanced across the hall and made eye contact with him, it was like looking in the rearview mirror, seeing a semi-truck hurtling down the hill behind you and visualizing the whole accident before it takes place, but not knowing how to prevent it. I guess I could’ve swerved into oncoming traffic, slamming my locker shut and shoving through the crowd like I thought I was late or something, but my body isn’t cooperating with my brain.

And there you have it. My current project. Now I am off to work on it!

Reflections, Accomplishments & Hopes for a New Year

It's that time of year when we take a hard look at what we've done and assess how we want to improve and move forward. This is something I'm doing constantly, but it does seem important to take a moment to write it all down, especially since I feel like I have learned a lot about myself this year, and especially this past month or two.

I started out 2012 miserable and full of self-doubt. It was a long-time coming. These feelings had been building for a couple of years, so I declared 2012, the year of re-evaluation. I had to figure out what made me happy. More specifically, I had to figure out if writing still made me happy or if I was done, ready for a complete change of career and life focus.

I went back and forth, up and down about this. I'd spend a month deeply in love with storytelling and then three months hating every word I wrote or hating myself for writing. I felt like I'd finally gotten on the right track again in September and then had an absolute breakdown, my biggest crisis of faith yet in November, which I documented in this piece for Rookie--possibly the best, most honest, real and in-the-moment piece I've written for Rookie.

In July, I decided to go back to therapy for the first time in roughly nine or ten years. I was deeply depressed and anxious, especially about writing, and I couldn't do the re-evaluation thing on my own. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Not only did I benefit personally, I figured out a lot about my own writing. I put all the writing tips I gleaned from my therapist in this YA Outside the Lines post.

Perhaps the most important of those tips was be grateful for and recognize my accomplishments, big and small. So here's what I've done in 2012

• Knitted one hat and one scarf for my mother, and one hooded baby blanket for my friend's first child. Started my first knitting project for myself, a skirt.



• Taught 16 students in a Young Adult Fiction class at Columbia College and read well over 1000 pages of their work.
• Grew lettuce, strawberries, tomatoes, green beans, many varieties of peppers, many types of herbs, quite a few flowers.



• Made countless vegan meals, tried and even invented several new recipes.
• Got my eleventh tattoo. (It's Latin for "breathe.")

• Joined my local library board.
• Tended bar three nights a week and briefly made a tumblr about my adventures.
• Visited my favorite place on earth, Seattle.



• Saw (and met!) Mark Lanegan (whose music inspires my writing big-time), as well Garbage, Social Distortion, and several amazing bands (and legends like Iggy Pop!) at Riot Fest.
• Hosted a college friend for about half the year and went on adventures with her like to my first Renaissance Faire.



• Visited with several other friends from out of town, reconnected with my childhood best friend/sister after she moved back, spent as much time as I could with my amazing teenage niece who is my heroine, and made the ultimate birthday package for my BFF to celebrate eighteen years of friendship.
• Went to my first Comic Con where I met people like the stars of one of my all-time favorite shows, Twin Peaks.



• Went to my first RT convention, participated in a panel about boundaries in YA and in Teen Day. Met Francine Pascal, author of the Sweet Valley series that ruled my childhood.





• Watched the last five seasons of Buffy for the first time, all five seasons of Angel for the first time, and most recently, watched all of the first season of Game of Thrones in 3 days.
• Turned old t-shirts into new shirts, and in one case, a dress.



• Celebrated my third wedding anniversary in Portland, Oregon. We also visited the gorgeous Oregon coast and met up with one of my best writing buds, Tara Kelly, who took this photo of us.

• Nursed my elderly cat/best friend of 17 years, Sid, for several months and then said a sad but beautiful farewell to him the weekend after Thanksgiving and wrote him a tribute.
  
• Wrote 17 columns for my local newspaper, the Forest Park Review.
• Wrote 20 essays, some deeply personal, others pure fun, for Rookie as well as countless reviews of books, movies, TV shows, music, hot chocolate, candy, and electronic items that do and should exist.
• Wrote my first essay for Ms. Fit Magazine, a real world feminist fitness magazine that will debut in January of 2013.
• Made zines with my niece and her BFF at a Rookie Road Trip event.

• Took part in an amazing reading to celebrate the release of ROOKIE YEARBOOK ONE.
• Did a vlog to celebrate the release of the DEAR TEEN ME anthology, which features my letter to my teenage self about an abusive relationship.
• Researched (both by visiting the library and sneaking into a cemetery after hours) and wrote my first short story in umm... eight years? It's a ghost story--my personal twist on a local urban legend about a hitchhiking phantom flapper--which will come out next October in an anthology called VERY SUPERSTITIOUS published by Month9Books.
• Went on a writing retreat in Arizona.



• Wrote about 50,000 words of one YA novel (ie. the Modern Myth YA)
• Wrote about 60,000 words of another YA novel (ie. the Contemporary YA)

Yeah, looking back, even though I often beat myself up for not doing enough... that's a lot of stuff! Sure, I wish that total of 110,000 words could have been on one novel so I could feel like I finished a big project this year. And of course what I really wish is that "sold a book" could be one of the bullet points, but I worked hard and I have to be proud of what I have accomplished and the difficulties like losing Sid that I got through.

I guess the biggest question is what came of my self/life evaluation in the year of evaluation?

Ultimately, I've decided that while writing doesn't always make me happy and the current state of my career (or more specifically the way I've had to cobble together way too much work that pays way too little to support my writing habit), writing will always be a part of my life. I'm hoping that 2013 will bring adjustments and changes that will make me happier. The biggest one is that my husband and I are hoping...or at this point PLANNING to move to Seattle in summer of 2013. I need a fresh start in a place that I actually like. I grew up in Chicago and came back for school, but then got stuck here. It's not where I feel like I belong. I'm hoping that going where I feel like I do belong will shake things up a bit. It will definitely mean a job change. Bartending has its moments and it did inspire an entire (though as of yet unsold) book, but like all service industry jobs it can be really draining and demeaning. I have discovered a love of teaching this year and especially a love of writing for and connecting with teenage girls via Rookie. I'm hoping to find a job that incorporate both of those things--maybe some sort of after school arts program for young people that I can teach in. I'm not sure what is out there, but I'nm hoping to find something, and it may be a full-time something meaning novel writing will have to fit in other places in my life. I want to have nights to read and spend time with my husband, weekends to go on adventures with him. That will be the priority once we move out west. 

Writing for Rookie is my other big priority. It doesn't pay much, but every piece I craft for them, I put my heart and soul into the same as I have my novels. I'm able to write incredibly personal things and I feel like I'm a part of the type of publication I'd been dreaming of since I was thirteen years old. Rookie readers are my audience, always have been, and I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to share my words and stories with them.

As for my fictional stories, my novels, my career as Stephanie Kuehnert, YA author (or just author in general), I still hope and dream and work my ass off in hopes that 2013 will be the year it relaunches. (13 is my lucky number after all.) I'm taking much needed time off until after the New Year, but then I will get back back the Contemporary YA and I hope to finish it in a month or three. After that, I will return to and reevaluate the Modern Myth YA. Maybe I'll press on with it as it is, maybe I'll re-write it again, or maybe I'll decided it needs a different form--a TV pilot instead of a book, perhaps. 

I'm not setting deadlines or making specific goals. I just want to keep doing what I've been doing--finding the faith and the drive to keep writing and enjoy writing each day that I sit down to do it. To treasure life's sweet moments, to find something to be grateful for every day.

Oh and I think I might sign up for a spinning class....

What about you? What were your accomplishments big and small in 2012 and what are you hoping to do in 2013?

New Releases, New Projects, New Tumblrs (Oh and Comic Con pix)

Hey lovely blog readers, sorry it's been awhile since I've posted properly. I've been prepping for my crazy fall and hang out with these cool people:

Yeah, that would be Norman Reedus. Or you may know him as Daryl from The Walking Dead or Murphy MacManus from Boondock Saints. I know him as that guy who my friend Lindsay and I became insanely obsessed with in like 2002 and watched all his movies over and over. And he touched me. And called me babe and sweetheart several times.

Those lovely ladies would be Sherilyn Fenn and Sheryl Lee or Audrey and Laura from Twin Peaks or the women who collectively changed my life when I was eleven and my mom decided that yeah it would be cool to let me watch her favorite show with her. They are also incredibly sweet and both complimented me on my flower crown. When I told Sheryl Lee about writing for Rookie and the next gen of teen girls inspired by Twin Peaks, she got so genuinely excited it made my day.

And these people, that dude, who looks like he's about to get all bumpy-faced and bite my best friend (in the awesome unicorn shirt)'s next, that of course would be James Marsters AKA Spike from Buffy and his partner in crime on the far left is Juliet Landau AKA Drusilla.

Yes, I spent the first part of August totally geeking out and going to my very first Comic Con, Wizard World Chicago as well as my very first Ren Faire in Bristol, WI, where I met this adorable little guy:

From now on my husband and friends judge the level of my happiness/excitement by whether or not I'm making "bunny face." (Note: that Norman Reedus definitely got "bunnyface"... which sounds wrong. Especially since my husband was mentioned a sentence ago.)

Now on to that preparing for a busy fall thing, but here are a couple of things that also bring on bunnyface for me.... NEW RELEASES!!!!!!

Sorry to disappoint, but these are not solo ventures, ie. new books just written by me. They are both anthologies/collections of sorts, but that's what makes them so bunnyface worthy. They are a million times better than if they were written by just me.

First up...
THE ROOKIE YEARBOOK!!!

Actually I believe the official title is Rookie Yearbook One because there will be more and I hope way way way more than four yearbooks I have from high school. Of course they will definitely be way way way better than high school yearbooks, chock full of the best Rookie photos, art, and articles of the year. I'm not actually sure what if any of my pieces are in there, but I do know my school photo from senior year will be!

This releases on September 4th, next Tuesday, which also marks the one year anniversary of Rookie, when I wrote this highly excited post about. I'm still just as thrilled and honored to be a part of Rookie, especially now that I see the incredible INCREDIBLE content that has been produced and the community that has grown from it. This summer during the Rookie Road Trip, I even got to take my niece and one of her BFFs to a zine making party. Rookie is probably the thing I am most proud of, even more so than my books, so if you haven't yet, I urge you to check it out. These two pieces in particular mean a lot to me, my most recent article about grief and losing my friend Marcel, and my piece on my history with self-injury. And for those of you wondering about the advice I'd give teen writers, you will find it all here at Rookie.

I will also be talking about something very close to my heart in the other new release...

Dear Teen Me: Authors Write Letters to Their Teen Selves comes out on October 30th.

I will be in AMAZING company with people like Ellen Hopkins, Lauren Oliver, Tara Kelly, and more. I wrote about the emotionally and sexually abusive relationship I was in as a fifteen year-old. I can't wait to read all of the other letters, which I imagine will range from heartbreaking to hilarious.

Fall, for me, is also a time for New Projects.

Okay, one new project. I've decided after much soul-searching, stress, and conversing with my agent that while the partial of the Modern Myth YA is being shopped, I can't keep writing it. I just get too freaked out. This doesn't mean I've given up on it. I hope/believe that my agent will call me any day now with an offer and then I will dive write back in. I explained a bit more in depth about why I felt this way/made this decision and gave some hints (in playlist form of course) about the project I've switched over to working to on YA Outside the Lines last week. As I mentioned there, the new project is a Contemporary Realistic YA (which for right now I will call quite creatively the Contemporary YA even though I have a working title that I adore for it, yanno, superstitions.) That doesn't completely do it justice those because I'm pondering some ghostly/magical realism twists to it.

It's about a girl who is grieving--a few characters actually are grieving, but my main character is not only grieving for her older brother, she has also fallen into an emotionally abusive relationship.

Yeah, I know, I mentioned both grief and abusive relationships above as my own experiences. As usual, I am drawing from those things, emotionally, creatively, cathartically, but not directly. I pondered writing a memoir, but for now I've decided against it, so my real life stuff will be found at Rookie and in anthologies like Dear Teen Me.

Something else that Ballads of Suburbia fans will enjoy is that Cass makes a cameo appearance in this one, as a grown up. As you will see in this scene that I've decided to be daring enough to share with you even though I wrote most of it while hungover last week.

Cass swiveled her head to the right, dreadlocks spilling over her left shoulder. She mimicked Kat’s posture and as she crossed her arms, the sleeve of her gray t-shirt rose to reveal her birdcage tattoo. The cage was open and empty with a ribbon hanging down from it. Loopy handwritten script on the ribbon read, “Secrets lead to sickness.”

“First day back and you’re ready?” Cass deadpanned.

Kat matched her dry tone. “Maybe that’s why I’m back.”

Maybe there was a grief group therapy certificate and Kat wanted it.

Cass flicked her chin upward, indicating that Kat should spill.

Kat’s face faltered momentarily like a kid at Six Flags who’d spent their whole time in line bragging about what a piece of cake a certain roller coaster was and then almost chickened out when it was her turn to step into the first car. But then she blinked and her expression hardened once again.

“Two years ago yesterday, I was hanging out with my brother Stevie at Denny’s like usual. Our sister Corin worked there, so we could just sit around and drink coffee for hours without getting hassled. Corin usually comped most of our food, too, but that night Stevie insisted on actually buying me a slice of pie because he’d only had to fix a couple of sentences in my final English paper, which he said was like a record. I always had him proofread my stuff even though it meant listening to him gloat about being the twin that got all the brains. It was this ongoing thing we had. I’d be like, ‘I’m older,’ and he’d be like, ‘Well, I hung out in the womb longer so my brain could get bigger.’” Kat half-laughed before saying, “Whatever, it’s one of those stupid things that’s probably only funny to us. Anyway, it wasn’t about him being smarter. Even Corin had him proof her college essays. She’s the musician, I’m the artist, I guess, and Stevie’s the writer….”

Kat swallowed and tugged on the colorful jelly bracelets on her left wrist. “Stevie was the writer. And fine, fuck it, he was smarter than me, too. Except for that night. He was so fucking stupid that night.”

She rolled her eyes heavenward and blinked rapidly. Cass started to say something, but Kat stomped her foot. “No, I can do this,” she insisted.

Taking a deep breath, she stared out into the center of the circle, focusing on a scuff on the tile that I usually spent group studying. It was the perfect arch, like a gray rainbow. “We should have gone home with Corin’s best friend Stella,” Kat continued. “Corin had to work ‘til midnight and Stella offered to give use a ride. We were in the parking lot with her when Stevie’s friends rolled up. Well, they weren’t really all his friends. Riley, he’d been one Stevie’s best friends since grade school. The two other guys, Murph and Jared, were a couple years older than us. Riley met them in woodworking class and thought they were cool because they had a car and did stupid shit like steal lawn ornaments and rearrange letters on signs and act like they were movie stunt guys.”

Kat rolled her eyes again, but this time she looked pissed rather than on the verge of tears. “I thought they were cool, too. I tried to impress them just like Stevie and his friends did. Especially Murph, I thought he was so cute. It was pathetic. That’s why we didn’t ride home with Stella. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to ride shotgun in Murph’s shitty Ford Explorer. Stella even asked, ‘Are you sure?’ And right when she did, there were sirens. I remember that. An ambulance, a cop car, a couple fire trucks. It was really loud. Definitely a warning, but did I take it? No. I just waved Stella off.”

I glanced over at Cass, wondering if she was going to interject. She was always telling us not to blame ourselves or take on the burden of regrets that didn’t belong to us. She frowned sadly, but kept her mouth shut. She was probably saving the hindsight is twenty-twenty lecture for after Kat was done. Getting us to confess about that day was always her biggest priority.

“Part of me wishes we’d gone with Stella, but another part of me wishes she hadn’t been there at all because seeing her probably gave Stevie his idiotic idea.” Kat bit her lip and shook her head. “Like I said, Murph and Jared were into doing these idiotic stunts and one of them was car surfing. We’d do it in parking lots when they were empty at night. You’d climb up on the roof of the Explorer and Murph would drive. Not super fast, maybe twenty miles an hour. Riley actually did it down our street one time at closer to thirty. Stevie had never tried it, though, which everyone teased him about, especially since you know, I had,” she pointed to herself. “His sister.

“When the guys started giving him crap that night, he was like, ‘Okay, I’ll surf,’ and then he turns to me and smiles and says, ‘In fact, I’ll surf the dark spot.’ And I was like, ‘Bad ass! Shotgun!’ because of course I was way more concerned about sitting next to Murph than how fucking idiotic it was to car surf through the dark spot, which is this winding stretch of road through the forest preserve about a mile from Denny’s. Corin discovered it when Stella got her license. Stella’s kind of a daredevil, so she would turn off her headlights and go around that curve blind and crazy fast because right afterward there’s a set of train tracks and you can catch some pretty good air when you hit them.

“So we’re, like, explaining this as we’re directing Murph there and he actually got a little freaked by the idea. He said he’d do it with no headlights because Stevie really wanted to surf in the darkness and he’d go around the curve, but he wasn’t going to go that fast and he wasn’t going to go over the tracks. Not that it mattered because we never even got to the curve…” Kat’s voice cracked and she ran a finger under her eye before a renegade tear could smear her black eyeliner.

She’d been speaking at an incredible clip, her words gaining momentum like when the roller coaster goes down that first big dip. When she paused to catch her breath, the ten of us listening seemed to take a collective inhale with her. Plastic chairs creaked as kids pressed against them, trying to escape what came next in Kat’s story, what came next in all of our stories: that ugly moment that changed everything.

Yep, I'm gonna leave you hanging there. Also, worth noting, Kat is not the main character. Meredith, the girl listening to her, is, but I haven't written her recollection of her own brother's death yet. I know it. I know a fair bit about this story, but not everything. I'm writing by the seat of my pants now and just trying to fall in love with telling a story again, not worrying about an audience or who might or might not buy it, just writing what I need to write. And so far it has been working. Yesterday I wrote nearly 3,500 words. More than I've written in one day all summer, possibly all year. Here's hoping the momentum keeps going.

Because I'm trying to sink back into a solid fiction writing schedule on top of my freelance work, my bartending job, and once again I'll be teaching a YA Fiction Course at Columbia College Chicago this fall, I don't know how well I'll keep up with this blog. I'll try my best, but to fill the void, I also have this...

My new bartending tumblr.
Adventures in Bartending/The Bartending Diaries can be found here. I still don't post as regularly as most tumblrers, but I do what I can, namely posting funny bar related photos and videos and accounts of my experiences at work, which I can do LIVE FROM MY PHONE so I find that convenient and exciting. I'm also doing it because even though it hasn't sold yet, my agent and I still have high hopes that we will find a home for my bartender book and you'll get to read it.

That's all from me. Hope you guys had fabulously fun summers and exciting fall projects planned too!

Work-In-Progress Wednesday: How the New Method is Working for Me

A couple of weeks ago I posted a blog about how I'd been backsliding into writer's slump territory again. I felt totally unfocused and unmotivated to work on my current project, A.K.A. The Modern Myth YA. Through some writer friends on Twitter, I heard about this method to increase your word count. Though I don't really see myself writing 10K words a day, I'd love to write 2 or 3K and just be able to focus again. I was most impressed by the "knowledge" part of Rachel Aaron's "triangle of writing metrics," thinking that might be just what I needed.

The past couple weeks have been a bit busy with freelance work and visits from friends, one of whom has been staying at my house long term, so while I didn't produce as much as I would have liked, I still produced which is a miracle because generally I would have used all that as an excuse not to focus.

In the three weeks leading up to the method, I was averaging about 500 words a day. If I was lucky. I had a lot of days where I wrote more like 250 or 300 or I didn't write at all. And though I wasn't keeping track of my stretches of writing time (because I was only keeping track of words as part of this summer writing club made up of people from my college on Facebook), generally speaking I'm at my desk from 10:30 or 11 til 3 or 4 Monday through Thursday, *trying* to work on novel stuff (as opposed to freelance stuff or surfing the internet, which was mostly what I was doing). So yeah, not pleased. And the days I had higher word counts weren't satisfying either because I was just forcing myself to write really fast and shitty to account for the time I'd wasted.

Since starting the new method on June 5, I've had 10 days of writing. I had between an hour-and-a-half and four-and-a-half hours of writing time on those days, usually averaging around three. I wrote a total of 11,758 words. My highest point was last Monday when I wrote 2686 words in 3 hours and 10 minutes. My low point was last Thursday when I wrote 206. My average right now is around 1200 a day. This Monday, I wrote 1053 words in an hour-and-a-half. They were also quality words that I felt good about. The day that I wrote 2686 words (also a Monday), the words weren't really quality and I was pushing myself HOWEVER unlike forcing myself to write fast and shitty, I was writing fast and mediocre because I was excited to get through the scene, wanted to get my ideas down as quickly possible and felt confident that I could fix them later. I would definitely like to be in that mindset more of the time. It seems like a happy medium between being productive and my perfectionist tendencies. If I have a mixture of those days with days like this Monday, where I produced a respectable amount of words that I felt good about, I think I'll be in a good place.

So what made those two days happen? Not surprisingly, my focus on the "knowledge" part of the triangle. Really thinking about and planning my scene comes naturally to me in a way because that's what I did all throughout my writing classes at Columbia College Chicago. In all of our workshops, we would play word games to exercise those seeing-in-the-mind muscles and then we would "take a place" and really let the scene formulate in our mind before writing it. On Sunday afternoons, I have a writing "group" that is really just me and my friend Jenny from grad school writing together (followed by cooking and watching Supernatural) and we go through those word games and really take the time to visualize our stories. The past two Sundays I've spent between 20 and 40 minutes playing those word games and writing down an outline for what I've seen and then I wrote for an hour and 20 minutes and came up with 1069 words one time and 651 words  the other time (and I was really tired that day), again words that I was really pleased with, AND best of all, it gave me a massive jumpstart for Mondays.

The days that were also not a surprise. Thursdays were my crappiest days. I work both Wednesday night and Thursday night at the bar (which is why Friday is errand day and I don't even bother trying to write), so my sleep is always poor and I always feel like I have a ton to get done before work and I get easily distracted. Last Thursday was my bottom of the barrel day and it was terrible because A. I didn't start writing right away and B. I continued to check email and such, so I went back to work on freelance stuff, I took a phone call, etc. In other words I did not protect my writing time. Keeping close track of my writing time including when I take breaks, how many words I write before and after lunch, has really helped me see the patterns I already expected. I may write more in the afternoon, but that only happens when I spend the mornings focused on writing. A good morning is a springboard for a great afternoon. I have to remind myself of this on Thursdays when I'm hit with the urge to mess around online until I'm fully awake.

I also had bad days when I freaked out about the overall word count on the book. It is getting too big again, like The Bartender Book, so I'm kind of worried about that. Really worried actually, but I know I should just keep writing. This may be one of those books that I need to write every little scene and snippet of backstory that I see and then cut. A lot. But either way I should stop worrying about it. I know, I should. To some degree there is no method that will fix my tendency to worry myself into a state of total distraction, same with my focus problems when other non-book-writing (but essential and paying) tasks begin to pile up. Learning emotional and workload balance is a whole other issue for me, but if this method continues to get me as excited about my story as it has (because it IS, I am finally excited again, seeing and fixing some of the holes in the plot, etc.), I'm hoping the excitement will take over and smooth out some of my worrywart/stressed-out tendencies.

My real test of this new method begins starting tomorrow. I have an entire month with no house-guests and no big non-book-writing projects, just the average stuff which I need to learn to balance. I'm going to add a "How Did The Writing Feel?" category to my spread sheet so in addition to words, time, an general notes, I can keep track of that, too. The goal is for it to feel good at least 80% of the time and I would really love it if I could get up to 2 or 3K on average.

Feel free to join me. I'll try to check in here weekly and for those who want to check-in more often. Hit me up on Twitter.

Oh and here's a chunk from the WIP. It's from when I was writing fast and furious, so it's not very well-written, but I was having fun with it.

Lucy reaches for the towel dispenser to her right and nearly unravels the whole roll, stumbling again as she tears off over a foot of brown paper. Muttering “fuck” to herself, she braces herself against the wall for a second, but before I can ask if she’s okay, she begins to wad up the towel, working it between her fingers like Gran punching down dough. After getting it damp, she scrubs at her lips just as violently and then tosses it at the trash can with a flourish, cackling when she misses. Then she sets her studded black clutch on the ledge next to the abandoned drinks and begins to rummage through it.

I can’t help but watch her in the mirror. She reminds me a lot of my sister—or actually of the role my sister played in her very last play, which appropriately enough was Lucy in Dracula, the gorgeous red-haired woman whose neck everyone wanted to bite. I wonder if that’s the role this girl plays at Inferno, too, even though tonight she’s more of a porcelain doll drenched in glitter.

After carefully applying the palest shade of face powder I’ve ever seen, she pulls out a tube of lipstick. I expect it to be blood red or maybe black as the kohl smeared around her eyes, but it’s a sparkley silver and thick like paint, too, not just a gloss. It matches her silver high heels as well as the black and silver feather boa that’s draped around her neck.

She fluffs the boa, which is a little bit damp—hopefully from the water she drank and not the “fun” she puked up—and studies herself. Grimacing she says, “Well, I look like shit, but who doesn’t in this bathroom?”

“The light is terrible in here,” I agree. “You look good, though.”

“Liar,” she says with a laugh, leaning toward the mirror to examine her eyeliner. It’s smudged in a way that looked intentional, but apparently isn’t because her silver mouth twists into a scowl and she starts digging in her bag again. “I look like the idiot whose boyfriend made her cry.” She yanks a q-tip from her purse like she’s unsheathing a sword as she gnashes out the word, “Again.” 

Backsliding & a new method to get back on track

I've been in a writing slump again. It's been going on for about a month now and I'm beyond frustrated with myself, especially things were going so well before that. At the beginning of April, I met my goal, I was reinvigorated by a vacation to Seattle and an excellent experience at the RT Conference. I'd given my agent a chunk of the Modern Myth YA and she loved it... so much so that she decided that we should start submitting it as a partial. So I put together a synopsis (the bane of my writerly existence, but I was motivated so I pulled it off!) and out into the world it went.

At first I was excited. So freakin' excited! I love this book. Lovely Agent A does as well. Surely an editor will and my career will turn around any day now.

Quickly excited turned to scared. What will I do if this book doesn't sell? It has now been 4 years since a project of mine has. A large part of that was my own fault, focusing too much on the promotion stuff I couldn't control and slowing down the already slow writing process. But the Bartender Book has been on sub for a while now (or at least what feels like a while to me, this industry is notoriously slow, and as my husband will tell you, I am not the most patient person on earth) and if nothing happens with it or this project.... Fuck. I'm not sure I can keep doing this, especially since the bartending job has been stressful as hell lately (and not in that good busy way, in the not-busy-not-sure-I-can-make-ends-meet way).

There is a lot (a lot a lot A LOT) of doubt in my life right now, which I will not go in to boring, overly-emotional detail about (though I'm ashamed to say that some of it leaked out on to Facebook and Twitter during my really low moments). But let's just say that between the stress (which unpleasantly manifested in an ulcer flare-up), the too-freaking-excited-to-focus, the too-freaking-full-of-self-doubt to focus, I've been... well... entirely unfocused. Okay, not entirely, even though my friend Lindsay is staying with me again (which provided me with a great many distractions while I was in the heart of my last slump), I have been forcing myself to sit down at the computer every day, but despite my best intentions, despite my check-ins with author buddies, despite my attempts to do my usual 90 minute write sessions, I usually end up obsessively checking email/Facebook/Twitter, or looking things up... like jobs that maybe I can apply to if life doesn't turn around soon.

I tried writing fast, then slowing down. I tried backtracking and skipping ahead. I thought maybe there was just too much stress tied up in the Modern Myth YA or maybe I'm just stuck in the murky middle or ::enter the self-doubt monster:: maybe it just totally sucks, so I tried cheating on it by working on other ideas like the Contemporary YA I have on the back burner or the New and Shiny Adult Book idea and The Oft-Pondered Memoir that I just last week finally figured out a theme/structure for.

Those gave me temporary relief, the reminder at least that I do have other ideas and I haven't completely lost my ability to write (and maybe even do it well), but they weren't totally satisfying.

I want to write this book. It's an idea I've been playing with for years and I feel like I finally have it right or at least almost right and I just need to finish it. As for those larger doubts about my career and if I can continue to sustain myself as a writer/bartender/freelancer/teacher, I keep telling myself that I will figure it out at the end of this year. Since the world might end in December (I really doubt it, but who knows), I want to spend this year putting my all into the writing. It is unacceptable to keep not focusing and not writing.

Yesterday I woke up and as usual dread and determination began to battle. Dread (which always leads to total lack of productivity) was winning, but then I noticed something on Twitter. Nova Ren Suma, Holly Black, Beth Revis and Kami Garcia were having a conversation about plotting, productivity, and this blog about massively increasing your daily word count. I've said in the past that I am not a big word count person, specific word goals freak me out, I value quality over quantity, etc. But the fact remains that for the past month I've been unsuccessful tinkering with a chapter. Not cool. Not at all.

That blog post's simple formula of Knowledge + Time + Enthusiasm = More Productive Writing made sense. For me, it is not about getting up to 10K words a day. I haven't even been able to crack 1K a day in a month. I need to get focused and figure out a way to write steadily and productively. The part about "Knowledge" in particular makes sense to me. "Knowing what you write before you write it." This is what I used to do in my classes at Columbia when we went through "seeing a scene in our mind's eye" before writing it. Starting each day by writing out a sketch of what I'm going to be working on could be the key I've been looking for to hone my focus. The "Enthusiasm" part is essential as well. I feel like I have been stuck in the murky middle for a while because I'm not excited about my scenes. Hopefully doing those short pre-writing sketches will help me figure out what is excited and fix my story before I even start writing. And the "Time" aspect... well I love data. I've been trying to track my own progress and figure out things about my process through this blog, but I think something more detailed is in order.

I've made a spread sheet with the following categories:
Date, Project Worked On, Time Started, Time Finished, Breaks, Total Time, Total Words, Notes.

I may switch that around and eliminate the break thing and make a new entry for before and after lunch writing (as that is my usual break), so I can get a better sense of when I'm more productive, what kind of breaks help, what are disruptive, etc. As for the "Project Worked On" category, I thought about eliminating that and forcing myself to work on the Modern Myth YA and only the Modern Myth YA, but I've decided that I really do want to keep working occasionally on one (perhaps more, but definitely one) of my cheat projects. Maybe once a week, or a half day once a week will be a cheat day.

Anyway, I started making notes yesterday and actually figured out a big part of my problem with the chapters that have been stumping me. (I was trying to introduce an unnecessary character.) I was also trying to figure out if I would skip ahead past the point where I've been stuck or if I should start with rewriting the messy chapters I've been working on. Now that I figured out what has been stumping me, 3 of those 4 chapters will need to be entirely rewritten anyway and my decision is to give myself just the morning to write through the scene that has been plaguing me (or really it's more of a transition). Either it gets done or it doesn't and I skip ahead.

So I'm starting this new method today and so are a few of my other writer friends (ie. the people whose Twitter conversation I bombarded and my lovely CP Tara Kelly. I'll report back next week (probably on WIP Wednesday) to let you know how it goes. If you're looking to spice up your writing life and trying something new and potentially really helpful, please join me! The more, the merrier, and check-ins do keep me focused and responsible. Also if you have any other suggestions that might help me right now, I am happy to hear them.

Here goes that writing/focusing thing....

Work-In-Progress Wednesday: What I've learned about backstory from watching TV

So, as I mentioned in my latest Teen Fiction Cafe post, I watch a lot of TV. I feel guilty about it sometimes, especially when it cuts into my reading time, but I consider television to be a much better storyteller than it used to be. I barely watched anything in the mid to late 90s, I even spent most of the early 2000s scoffing that it was all reality crap. But then I realized there were some incredibly well-written programs out there. (There is some fun mindless entertainment, too, and I definitely indulge in that because everyone needs to unwind.) Suddenly I found myself more engrossed in TV than movies because I get to enjoy a longer story arc. And even though I spent years riding the whole "TV kills brain cells" train, I've actually found myself learning a ton from my shows lately. It's like a free--or I guess cost of my cable and Netflix subscriptions--education in pacing, character development, dialogue, and more.

Since I love to write nuanced characters, who the reader will either love to hate or will love but be frustrated with at times because they are REAL people living in shades of gray rather than black-and-white and making poor choices at times, those are the kinds of shows I seek out. That's why I love Mad Men and it's a large part of the reason why I've managed to watch two seasons of Sons of Anarchy in less than two weeks. Seriously, I watched half of season three on Sunday alone. It was insane. I spend a lot of time pondering the characters and how the writers make me empathize with people I would normally dislike and keep me going on the roller coaster ride with the characters I do like even when they make one bad choice after the next, but character development is something I'd like to think I'm pretty good at... I have a bunch of tools for it anyway.

On the other hand, my biggest weakness as a writer is backstory. It probably goes hand-in-hand with the character development thing. I know so much about my characters and have fleshed out their history in such a big way that I can't help bringing it into the book. Without fail, every time my critique partners get back to me on a manuscript, they ask if I can somehow trim the backstory. It is the bane of my existence. Not them saying that because they are almost always right, but the trimming. Ugh. Especially with this book because there is so much history, not just for my character but for her entire family.

I noticed a really interesting thing while I was watching Sons of Anarchy though. We were thrust into the lives of these interesting, insane characters in this motorcycle club which obviously has a lot of history. Plenty of hints were dropped about the past, many of which caused me to turn to my husband who has already seen the first four seasons of the show and ask questions. Of course, he'd always shake his head at me and tell me to be patient. (And let me just say that gentle reprimand occurs a lot in our marriage!) So I kept waiting for the flashbacks, like the ones we got in Mad Men as Don Draper's secret history was revealed. But three seasons into the show and I've yet to get a single flashback.

This frustrates me a bit because A. I'm impatient and B. I'm so character history obsessed, but for the most part it leaves me in awe. There is still backstory on Sons of Anarchy, it's a show with rich characters who have a lot of history, but it's only given to us in the moment. We learn about the past through dialogue. The past comes up when it's relevant to show, like when someone's former lover shows up. Still, these are places where I would be tempted as a writer to pause and let my character reflect via flashback, but on SOA they never do. You learn all you are going to learn from what the character's say, write (there are some voice over monologues from Jax's dead father, but we only get those when Jax is reading things his father has written), and from the expressions on their faces, body language, and physical reactions.

And I am fucking jealous.

I don't think I'd be capable of doing this. Definitely not with the book I'm currently working on and the other ideas I have also seem too drenched in character history to pull off something like what SOA does. But one day, dammit. It will be a goal.

For now, I just am going to have to rely on my CPs and a bunch of handy highlighters when I finish a manuscript so I can look at where I've gotten too backstory heavy and how I can trim and redistribute. However, when I can I will be trying to find ways to get history across in a scene/through dialogue. And for those of you who struggle with backstory and are RWA members, do check out the recent Romance Writers Report for an interesting article about how to cope with your oversharing habit.

What about you? Do you have backstory issues or tips for dealing with it? And what TV shows have taught you what kinds of writing tricks?

Work-in-Progress...err Thursday: The Joy & IMPORTANCE of Writing Conferences

I'm back from my travels, but still running quite behind on things as you can probably tell by the fact that we are having Work-in-Progress Wednesday on Thursday.

To follow up on my last post (from way back in March, yikes!) the good news is that after much schedule juggling I did manage to meet my goal and get my partial in to my agent before I left for Seattle on the 5th. I ended up writing my synopsis on the planes to and from Seattle and polishing it yesterday and today, but the major goal was met and I was rewarded not only with vacation but a stellar conference experience at the RT Booklovers Convention when I got back!

I wanted to post about that for Work-In-Progress... Day because I think that socialization with other writers and publishing industry folk is KEY to being a writer. I know it sounds weird because the majority of our work is done alone in front of a computer screen, but if you don't have those outside-of-the-office writerly connections, your writing suffers. Here are the three very important things I get from other writers (and book industry people):

1. Improved Writing Skills

I have my MFA in Creative Writing, but I don't by any means feel like my education in writing is complete. In fact, I wish I could continue to take classes on writing and the various topics that I want to research for my books. (Right now that means mythology and also how to identify a corpse. Those are today's hints about what my WIP is about.) Since going to college forever is not an option, I talk to writer friends and I go to conferences. In the past I've been to really academic conferences (AWP) and really industry-focused ones (BEA and ALA). These are great in their own ways, but I was really excited to go to RT because it has a YA track with panels that spoke specifically to my interests like "Murder, Mayhem, and Madness," which gave me some great insight into writing suspense and action, a key in my WIP, and something I know I'm not as good at as say character development. I wrote down one seemingly simple nugget of advice from that panel (though unfortunately I didn't write who said it!): each character that goes into a scene should come out changed in some way. This is a great reminder for me to use in determining if my scenes are working.

Another amazing panel I went to was "Voices Inside Me: Shifting Between Narrators," which might have been the best discussion of point-of-view that I've ever witnessed. Hearing Melissa Marr talk about how her writing goals relate to trying out new forms of point-of-view storytelling like framed stories gave me ideas of new goals and challenges to set for myself. She also mentioned that one of the reasons she writes multiple point-of-view stories is because "a story doesn't happen to just one person." I agree that multiple threads make for a fuller story hence I've played with POV in every project... except oddly the one I'm currently working on. We shall have to see about that.

I also did my own panel on boundaries in YA fiction and learned from listening to my fellow panelists. Here is a picture that Rachel Vincent took of us. (I'm terrible at taking pictures during conferences so sadly I will be linking to other people's pics for the most part.)

2. Knowledge of the Market/Industry

The panel that I jotted the most notes down from was a marketing panel called "Wasting My Time: Making Sense of the Changing Landscape." There were authors who had tried many different promotion techniques from group tours to Skype visits as well as a "gatekeeper," Deborah Schneider, who does programming for the King County library system. (That would include Seattle, my fave place on earth and ummm their library system is STELLAR.) I learned from Deborah how important it is to have a media page on your website including a photo of the correct, print-ready quality (300 dpi). I also got a TON of ideas of how to better promote future books from the authors who'd tried them, so I'm extra excited to finish the WIP and sell it.

Talking about The Market/The Industry is a scary thing. It can be overwhelming for many writers, myself included. I've never written for it, but I've learned the importance of paying attention to it. Publicity-wise different things work for different people and I've founded that chatting at conferences is an excellent way to learn new tricks. Also though I find speed-dating with librarians, booksellers, and readers to chat up my books completely TERRIFYING, it is a great way for me to spread the word. (Plus those folks love books like me, they aren't really scary.) Part of publishing is promoting your book. Like it or not, that's the way things are, so taking those opportunities to do promo, or if you aren't published yet, to practice by talking to other writers or pitching to agents and editors is essential. Again, a very important part of going to a conference. (But just a part. The reason I talked about skill improvement first is because I think that fun as it may be, you aren't getting the most valuable experience if you are just sitting at the bar "networking.")

3. Sanity

Only fellow writers really truly understand the fact that basically YOU HEAR VOICES AND WRITE THEM DOWN AND THAT IS YOUR JOB. My other friends and husband listen patiently to me, but I know they probably think I'm neurotic. (And I am a little bit. Kind of goes with the territory.) In addition to having practical advice to offer me about developing my plot, my editing skills, and promoting my books, my author friends provide emotional support that I would be lost without. They get my worries, my fear of failure, my struggles with balancing the various activities of being a writer with having an actual life. I have people like Mari Mancusi, who I set goals with daily on Twitter and Jeri Smith-Ready who I Skype with regularly to talk writing neuroses among other things, but at RT I got to see them in person. I had dinner with Jeri and drinks with Mari (and went to a pseudo-wedding with champagne, cake, and hunky Fabio-type cover models--the sort of bizarre, totally amusing thing you do not see at the academic conferences I'm used to. Seriously they could learn a thing or two about a good time from the romance world.) We talked shop, but also got to relax and have a good time. I finally met Zoraida Cordova (whose book, The Vicious Deep, is out in less than two weeks and sounds AMAZING), an agency sister who I've only gotten to chat with online. Oh and ditto with Stephanie Perkins (who Rachel Vincent took this great picture of me with, two Stephs with brightly colored hair who write YA contemp, crazy, huh!) I had dinner with her and Beth Revis (who I've had the joy of hanging out with at a retreat before and it was lovely to see her again) one night and it was non-stop laughs and smiles--except when Steph and Beth nearly came to blows over a difference in opinion about Harry Potter, haha, but it was quickly resolved when we started talking about Firefly. That is the kind of nerdiness I love and crave. Also we got into plot talk and I was describing a particularly gruesome part of my WIP when the waitress came up. Suddenly realizing we were in public, I blurted, "I'm talking about a book! We're writers!" Because like I said, around each other, we can drop our guard, talk about our characters like they are real (because in our heads, they are) and be the person we are when we are tucked away at our desks all alone with unwashed hair.... I'm not sure how good it is to bring that into the world, but it is good for us, so the world is just going to have to deal.

Basically my favorite part of RT was that from when I walked in the door and found Kim Derting (and here's a cute pic of us that Amy Plum took) to my last dinner with Jeri and her fabulous Team Kilt blogger/book lover crew, I was surrounded by friends. I got to catch up with people I rarely see in person. I received advice, encouragement and loads of big hugs. It reminded me of how wonderful the YA community is, how filled to the brim with sweet, talented people, and how lucky I am to be a part of it.

And the YA community can throw a great party too. Teen Day on Saturday was an incredible day-long affair (and thank you, Melissa Marr, for all your hard work that went into it!) where YA writers got their own special place in the giant book fair, we had panels, speed-reading, and speed-dating with teen readers (meeting readers is always a huge highlight for me) and we had a big bash where we got to talk to the readers and mingle with our idols. I nearly wept when I met Francine Pascal, creator of the Sweet Valley High/Sweet Valley Twins series that I was addicted to as a kid. But I pulled it together. managed to thank her for inspiring me to write and got this picture of us taken:

Again, aside from that, I was remiss at taking good Teen Day photos, but Vania Stoyanova who is a way better photographer than I could ever be captured it really well and you can see it on her tumblr.

Between mad deadline dashes, crazy juggling of all the writing jobs and writing-related tasks, worries, anxieties, and writer's block or slumps, all of which I've experience lately, this writing thang can be draining. But I refilled the well at RT. I reminded myself of why I write, who is out there doing it with me and cheering me on, and got a slew of ideas for new ways to challenge myself. So I'm revved and ready to get back to work.

Thank you RT and everyone I saw there. I will definitely being seeing you next year in Kansas City.

What about you? How do you connect with other writers to refill the well? What conferences or conventions have you gone to and loved?