Life, Words, & Rock 'n' Roll

Work-in-Progress Wednesday: A Tour of My Office

2012-01-25T07:59:00.000-06:00

I've decided that since a new year is upon is, it is time for a new Wednesday blog tradition. I've really loved doing Women Who Rock Wednesday interviews and I am sure I will still do them or author/musician/artist I admire interviews in some other form in the future, but they just haven't gotten the response that they used to recently. This is probably my fault for several reasons, mainly being that I'm a sporadic blogger, or it could be because people are getting bored with the format or just want something new. Either way I decided that it is time for something new, so my Women Who Rock Wednesday interview with Lucienne Diver that ran last week will be the last for now. However I've decided to extend the contest that accompanied that interview (and the contest *is* international) for one more week, so if you haven't entered it yet, go here and do so.

My new theme for Wednesdays is going to be "Work-In-Progress." I plan to talk about what is going on with my writing and share the tips and things I've learned along with my struggles (and if you read this blog regularly, you know I have a plethora of struggles!). Also, when I'm feeling brave enough, I may even share snippets of my current work-in-progress.

I know this puts me at risk of turning my blog into yet another one of those writerly blogs. I've heard it said that readers want more from authors than talk about process, so maybe I'm taking a risk here, especially since with my schedule, "Work-In-Progress Wednesdays" might well be my only regular blog posts. I'm sure I will bring you sporadic interviews and rants and raves about new music and books I've discovered. In fact all of that may be included in "Work-In-Progress Wednesdays." And trust me, this blog won't lose it's personal feel and become simply a source of tips/a teaching tool. I love those kinds of blogs and blog entries, but I'm just too much of an emotional, oversharing Cancer to keep my personal feelings off of my blog, even when reflecting on the writing process. The writing process is insanely personal to me and a huge part of my life. But the more personal essay type stuff that I have written in the past about my struggles with sleep or self-injury, etc, has found a new, much better outlet: ROOKIE. (For example, a piece I wrote about insomnia posted there last night.) So I'll be saving my energy for that kind of writing for ROOKIE and I hope if you like that side of me (which is kind of like the real life version of some of my characters), you will visit me there.

Maybe focusing this blog mainly on process is a little bit selfish, but umm it's my blog and that's what I need. If you read my New Year/tough realizations entry, you'll see that I'm really fighting to stay afloat as a writer right now. I'm taking this year to evaluate my career and my life in general to see how writing fits into it and blogging will help me do that. Recording my struggles with The Bartender Book really helped me to examine my process and become aware of patterns. Unfortunately I didn't do that from the beginning, so now that I am starting a new novel, I feel lost as to how to get started, which happens every time thanks to how long it takes me to write a novel. Though I don't remember exactly how my process started for my last three novels, I do know that this one is different, so why not record it. But more on that in future posts.

My motives aren't completely selfish, though. I actually hope that these posts will inspire people and also build a bit of a community where we can share suggestions and ideas and cheerlead for each other in the comments section. Though my attempt to do NaNoWriMo failed yet again, what I took away from it was a real joy in community. I haven't really had that since I was in grad school. During November, I checked in regularly with several different groups of people, shared advice and motivation and I LOVED it. I wondered why we couldn't do this all the time since people (hopefully!) don't only work on novels in November. I have a few friends that I do regular check-ins with on Twitter (I love you Mari, Melissa, and Kaz!) or have regular sprints or process talks with (I love you Jeri, Tara, Vanessa and Kaz again!), but why not widen the scope. So this will be my once-weekly (when I can! I'm learning not to make myself feel obligated about things, but again more on that in future posts) progress report and I encourage any blog readers to use it to check in and share your triumphs, struggles, tips, and rants as well. Sound cool? I hope so.

To kick this new series off, I thought I would share my writing space with you. I'm very pleased with it and finally completed honing the perfect creative vibe. It's a "new" office for me. Since I bought my house in 2004, I've worked in a larger room across the hall, which had always been "my room" in addition to my office. I didn't sleep there, but I stored all my stuff there (I'm kind of clothing whore so I require an additional closet and dresser besides what I have in my bedroom) and I'd decorated it much like my teenage bedroom. I didn't bother painting the walls any particular color (I'm horrible at that sort of design thing), I just plastered them with all my old posters and cut-outs from magazines, some of which I've had since the early 90s (and you will see pictures of my teenage bedroom in ROOKIE at some point next month if you are curious). It looked like this (and you can click to make them bigger, though it will look funny in some places where I crudely erased things off the board by my desk that give away specifics about my projects):

It wasn't horrible by any means and it was certainly inspiring for writing BALLADS and IWBYJR to be surrounded by pictures of musicians I loved/a reflection of my teenage bedroom. But it was kind of distracting to have non-work things in there (such as a dresser) and while I like some clutter, it got too cluttered at times.

The biggest problem with that office was simple: it was the coldest room in the house during the winter (note the Snuggie draped over my desk chair and that photo was taken in October!) and the hottest in the summer due to the poor ventilation system in our house and me having to keep the door closed to shut out the cats who love to jump around and knock over my clutter. We had one other smaller room, which gets the best ventilation in the house. When I had a roommate it had been her room and when my husband moved in, it became his "office," but since he's a mechanic all that really meant was it was the room where his junk piled up. So after I accidentally put our electric bill through the roof last winter by running a space heater to keep from turning to a block of ice in my office, we decided that I should move into the spare room. My old office is now a guest bedroom/place where my clothes and my husband's books are (because my books take up the rest of the house). And as an anniversary gift, my lovely husband told me he would paint the cozy little room that is now my office.

I went with a bright blue because a) blue is a great color for creativity, b) the shade reminds me of my favorite place on earth: Seattle, which is very inspiring to me, and c) it matched this gorgeous painting that Holly Cupala gave me.

Here I will give you a little virtual tour!

My decorations are more sparse compared to my old office (well, sparse for me). I only put up things that are super important/inspiring to me. As I just explained, I've got major love for Seattle and until I move there and can really see it out my window, I decided to buy a poster of the skyline and put that over the window (and I hope to make curtains for this window at some point, my recent discovery of the importance of other creative outlets will be another blogpost though). To the left of that is the painting Holly gave me, and to the left of that is a Rosie the Riveter poster my mom bought me when I was 16. I consider that one ROOKIE inspiration. My desk is cover with a bunch of tchotchkes which I will zoom in on and explain in the next picture.

Yep the desk is covered with pictures of friends, family (note my cats in the top center frame just to the right of one of a blonde me with my husband), and other inspirations (more Seattle, lots of Nirvana and Hole). In the top left hand corner is a shadow box my husband made that holds a copy of The Instructions For Life, my friend Marcel once wrote on a paper towel. Marcel passed away a few years ago and a mutual friend had copies of the instructions made for his loved ones. He has always been a huge inspiration and good force in my life since I met him when I was 15, so it's good to look up and read reminders in his handwriting like "1. Take into account that great love and great achievement involve great risk." The book to the right of the shadow box is "The Little Engine That Could," which my agent sent me a couple weeks ago when I was feeling down and out about my writing. It may be one of the most meaningful gifts I've gotten. The calendar (from Seattle of course) that hangs above my computer is essential so that I don't miss deadlines and appointments even though I also keep them in my phone and the little black day planner sitting on the left side of my desk among the many little notebooks and scraps of paper I keep out to jot down random ideas while writing. The computer is where the majority of the work happens. I got a new one a few weeks ago (more on that and the programs I put on it in a future post), so it feels perfect for a fresh start and I gave it raven wallpaper that both suits my current project and my constant Portlandia inspired jokes about "putting a bird on it."

Next to the computer is the whiteboard/corkboard, the pile of resources for the current work-in-progress, office supplies and file cabinets. I also have this giant posterboard of my first book cover that my publisher sent me and I used to take to readings. The angel print came from the EMP in Seattle. They had a bunch of locally made art inspired by their Nirvana exhibit and I really loved that one and it also totally goes with the work-in-progress. There are some work-in-progress notes on the white board though I crudely edited any specific details like title (which I'm paranoid of sharing for some reason) out. I also have an envelope with an image that reminds me of my characters and a calendar for the year the story takes place up on there. On the corkboard side, I just have badly drawn map I made for the story, an article Nova Ren Suma wrote about magical realism and then stuff for my freelance jobs. When I was finishing up my last book I had notecards up there but I'm not to that point yet and now I'm using Scrivener (again fodder for another blog post).
Here's a close up on the resource materials for the WIP to give you a little bit about it. I have a map of Los Angeles, Trickster Makes This World by Lewis Hyde, The Long Journey Home: Re-visioning the Myth of Demeter and Persephone for Our Time by Christine Downing, Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, and The Crow: Special Edition graphic novel by James O'Barr piled up on notebooks and folders with other notes....

This is the more personal side of the room.... Well aside from the Hello Kitty collection that I have to spruce up yet more boxes of files and because putting them in the guest room would probably be weird. The trunk is kind of like my altar. I'm um... well a mishmash of things when it comes to spirituality, but I have my rituals and I feel most creative surrounded by the energy that comes from the altar which has everything from candles and incense to items that memorialize people to images that give me strength to shells and rocks and dried flowers I've collected from various places. And water from Washington because I'm a Cancer and I have a water thing. And I also have an orchid thing, so my husband bought me one and I put it there but I seem to have killed it. Above the altar is a collage of my friends that I made when I first moved out after high school, so those are my oldest friends and above them is a goofy pic I took with two of my best friends who I met post-high school. That wall is still a little blank for my liking. I have a bunch of postcards from my travels that I may make a collage from and frame for that space.

The only posters that came from the old office were these, my two oldest posters. I've had the Nirvana one since eighth grade and the Hole poster since sophomore year. The tree painting is by my friend Kasia and both matches the room perfectly and also suits the mood of my WIP. Then more family photos on the bookshelf that houses my old journals.

I put some of the posters that bookstores and libraries made for me during my appearances up over in this corner along with a short fiction award I got in college and an award I got for my newspaper writing. My degrees on top of my shelf of reference books because it seems that degrees should be present in offices. Then we've got more stuffed animals, two given to me by my husband, one that I made with my niece and the official Hole teddy bear on my bookshelf which is filled with books that I've either just read, am planning to read or love so much I need them near me for their vibes. The closet door is my mood board for my WIP, which we shall see in better detail in the next picture.

So mood boards. I got the idea from Rookie which does a monthly calendar mood board so you can see our theme for the month and get little hints of what's coming up. My Rookie colleagues are so much more visual than me and it's been a great influence. I realized that while music has always been a huge inspiration to me while writing, images can really help too. I'm not the only one. Author Justine Musk wrote a great post the other day about using a site called Pintrest (which I admittedly know nothing about) to great a visionboard. Seems like the same thing as a mood board. Though I am using tumblr to share my muses albeit semi-infrequently and I've got pictures on my computer and in Scrivener, I like having them where I can just turn around and look at them, so I've started using my closet doors for this. On the right I have a Hole poster, though the inspiration has little to do with Hole and more to do with that image. Then there are postcards from California which is the setting of my book, photos that remind me of my main character and on the far left, those are images I have had forever, the top one is a flyer my friend Polly sent me from college when she was a freshman and I was still a senior in high school. The image and the words below it remind me a bit of my story/one of my characters and so does the picture I ripped from a magazine and have kept for years that is below it.

So that's the mood board and my creative space for this novel. I know I'm being all vague about it, which is intentional (don't want to jinx it) and also because it's still in early developmental phases. But the inspirations tell you something and I've also decided (*gulp*) to share the first rough paragraph:

I thought I died That Night. I stopped seeing and hearing, stopped feeling. Even though things were still happening to me, my mind and body shut down. I ceased to exist.

Yep, that's the beginning. It is quite short.

Anyway, tell me about your work space and how you cultivate inspiration for your WIP in it. And though I have several ideas to write about in this post. If there are any particular topics you think I should cover, let me know. Also how is your writing going? Mine is progressing very slowly but surely. More on that next week!

Women Who Rock Wednesday: Lucienne Diver!

2012-01-18T05:49:00.000-06:00

My girlfriend from the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit, Lucienne Diver has a new book out, FANGTASTIC, her latest in the VAMPED series. She most definitely rocks and here is what proves it, she created a music video for the VAMPED series!

Pretty cool, huh? And since she is so awesome, I figured a Women Who Rock Wednesday interview was in order. Let's meet Lucienne, shall we?

Q: Please tell us what your new book is about and what inspired you to write it.

Lucienne: My heroine, Gina Covello would rather be working on her manicure than missions for the Feds’ paranormal unit to which she’s been recruited. That changes when a group of killer kids takes out a family in the sunshine state and disappearances begin to plague the lifestylers who only play at the kind of existence led by my fanged fashionista. She and her crew are sent undercover into the vampire clubs…which turn out to be run by real vampires. While Gina’s BFF Marcy hangs with the steampunk-styled Burgess Brigade which spawned the killer kids, Gina herself is supposed to get in good with the fanged fiends behind the scenes, even to the point of playing double-agent, offering to hand over her powerful boyfriend Bobby. Her playacting threatens to become a bit too real when she discovers things about her spy handlers that make her wonder whether she’s truly on the right side of the battle between Feds and fangs.

I think I was inspired by a real case that happened years ago in Florida, where a teenager who thought he was a vampire (or at least told people as much) led the killing of a former girlfriend’s parents. It was really creepy, and it stuck with me. Luckily, they were caught, and the ringleader became the youngest person on death row.

Q: If there was a soundtrack for your book what are five songs that would be on it and how do they relate the story?

Lucienne: Definitely “No Reflection,” from my Vamped series music video! (You can also view it and download the MP3 for free on my website.)

Raise Your Glass by Pink because it’s a club type song, and part of Fangtastic is set in the vampire club of Tampa, FL (a variation of which actually exists) and partly because we’re all wrong in all the right ways, aren’t we?

Psycho by Puddle of Mudd because the killer kids in Fangtastic resemble these remarks.

Slide by the Goo Goo Dolls because of the video and because this is the way Bobby feels about Gina

Last I’m going to go with a video and song I found on YouTube because they would totally have played this at The Tower. It’s labeled Vampire Kisses Music Video 2: The Coffin Club

Lucienne: My fifth grade teacher, Mr. Hart, is the one who got me writing. He had us do free writing assignments on a regular basis. He’d assign a topic or opening sentence, and until time was up, our pens were not allowed to stop moving. They were wonderful exercises, and I caught the writing bug right then and there. Other authors inspire me with the greatness or frustrate me because I know I’ll never achieve it, but it all started with Mr. Hart.

Q: Even though music plays in so heavily into my storytelling, I rarely can actually listen to it while I'm writing. Can you? How does music fit into your writing process?

Lucienne: No, I’d find myself listening to the music rather than the voices in my head. Music does play into my writing process, though. I find I can’t really know my hero or heroine until I know what they’d listen to. I think it’s very telling, what music speaks to a person and why.

Q: What is next for you? What are you working on now?

Lucienne: I’ve turned in the fourth novel in the Vamped series, Fangtabulous, which will be out in January 2013. I’m now working on Crazy in the Blood, which is the sequel to Bad Blood, the first novel in my Latter-Day Olympians urban fantasy series in which Tori Karacis, a private investigator, finds out that her family tales are true and that the Greek gods do still walk the earth (Apollo as a film star, Hephaestus as a special effects artist, the enchantress Circe is now a high powered Hollywood agent, etc.). Her family line may even trace back to the myths and legends. Unlike her gorgon ancestress, she can’t quite turn men to stone, but as for stopping them in their tracks….

Q: I have two questions that I always ask my Women Who Rock, the first is a two-parter. What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge, we like to see the roots of our women who rock!

Lucienne: I think the first concert I ever attended might have been the Christian rock artist Michael W. Smith when I was a teenager. Either that or it was Melissa Ethridge opening for Sting. I loved both shows. Also, while Sting was the big draw at the second concert, and I do love him, Melissa Ethridge really hit it out of the park. To this day she’s one of my favorite artists.

Q: Tell us about your biggest rock star moment, perhaps it's a moment of real success in your career, a time when you met someone super cool and had that Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" moment, or just a time where you felt like you got the rock star treatment. I get a huge variety of answers for the questions, so it's pretty much whatever "rock star moment" means to you!

Lucienne: Oh, this one is a no-brainer. It happened at Dragon*Con last year when I checked my voicemail messages as I came off a panel and heard from my boothmates in the dealers’ room that a fan had been waiting for me for forty-five minutes and that I should hurry back. I was so flattered that anyone would wait so long to see me that I did rush back, and my fan was absolutely lovely! (Hi, Chey!)

Today's Contest:

After hearing more about it, I'm guessing you want FANGTASTIC and you are in luck! Lucienne is offering up a a signed copy of it and this contest is open to international entries!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about FANGTASTIC
+5 for blogging about FANGTASTIC

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win. I will email the winner a week from today.

Words Have Power

2012-01-17T05:34:00.000-06:00

Two weeks ago an incredibly important book came out, DON'T BREATHE A WORD by Holly Cupala.

In case you haven't heard of it, here is the official description:

Joy Delamere is suffocating...

From asthma, which has nearly claimed her life. From her parents, who will do anything to keep that from happening. From delectably dangerous Asher, who is smothering her from the inside out.

Joy can take his words—tender words, cruel words—until the night they go too far.

Now, Joy will leave everything behind to find the one who has offered his help, a homeless boy called Creed. She will become someone else. She will learn to survive. She will breathe…if only she can get to Creed before it’s too late.

Set against the gritty backdrop of Seattle’s streets and a cast of characters with secrets of their own, Holly Cupala’s powerful new novel explores the subtleties of abuse, the meaning of love, and how far a girl will go to discover her own strength.

DBAW is one of the most powerful books I've ever read. I was lucky enough to read it well in advance of its release and this is what I had to say about it:

“Nothing has hit me so hard since Laurie Halse Anderson’s SPEAK. Holly Cupala’s beautifully drawn characters are strong and fragile, vulnerable and raw, and best of all, they are real.”

I went in to greater detail about it and why it hit me personally so hard last month when I reviewed it for ROOKIE, which you can read here. (It's in the middle of that page.) Seriously, if you are a fan of my books, especially BALLADS, you must read this book.

I'm totally in awe of Holly's talents as a writer, so I was honored when she asked me to contribute something to her "Words Have Power" video project. There are some incredibly cool authors talking about the power of words in their lives and/or books, so check it out!

GCC Presents: Eileen Cook!

2012-01-06T05:23:00.000-06:00

Looking for new books to read in the new year? Well you are in luck! One of my gals from the girlfriends cyber circuit has a new release that sounds AMAZING! Let's talk to Eileen Cook about UNRAVELING ISOBEL, shall we?

Here's the lowdown on it:

Isobel’s life is falling apart. Her mom just married some guy she met on the internet
only three months before, and is moving them to his sprawling, gothic mansion off the coast of nowhere. Goodbye, best friend. Goodbye, social life. Hello, icky new stepfather, crunchy granola town, and unbelievably good-looking, officially off-limits stepbrother.

But on her first night in her new home, Isobel starts to fear that it isn’t only her life that’s unraveling—her sanity might be giving way too. Because either Isobel is losing her mind, just like her artist father did before her, or she’s seeing ghosts. Either way, Isobel’s fast on her way to being the talk of the town for all the wrong
reasons.

Q: Please tell us what your new book is about and what inspired you to write it.

Eileen: I work as a counselor and am interested in mental health issues. I think one of the most difficult things about having mental illnesses is that you can’t trust your own perception of reality. How do you cope when you aren’t sure what you see and hear is real? I decided I wanted to write about Isobel who struggles with trying to figure out if she’s seeing a ghost, if she’s going crazy, or if her step dad is trying to make everyone think she’s crazy so he can get rid of her.

Plus, I’ve always loved gothic novels. I love creepy old houses, buried family secrets and the potential for a ghost or two. Not to mention a cute boy in the picture.

Q: If there was a soundtrack for your book what are five songs that would be on it and how do they relate the story?

Eileen: These songs match the mood and tone of the book. There is something sort of eerie about them that keep you off balance.

Mad World by Gary Jules
People are Strange by the Doors
Hey You- Pink Floyd
Unwell- Matchbox 20
I Will Remember You- Sarah McLachlan

Q: Even though music plays in so heavily into my storytelling, I rarely can actually listen to it while I'm writing. Can you? How does music fit into your writing process?

Eileen: I can’t listen to music while I write. I tend to start singing along and that’s not good for anyone- in part because I can’t sing at all. I sound like someone stepping on a cat.

Q: What is next for you? What are you working on now?

Eileen: I am working on a book that we’re currently calling Shady Sadie (stay tuned I suspect the title will change!). It’s the story of Sadie, who is a teenage con artist. When she realizes that she looks like an age enhanced photo of a missing child she decides to pull the ultimate con… until she begins to suspect she may actually be the missing child.

Eileen's books are so amazing. I love the mental health/ghosts combo of this one so it is going on my to-buy list for sure! And the one she is working on now sounds incredible, too!

Behind the Scenes: Connecting with Readers (Crossposted from TFC)

2012-01-05T10:32:00.000-06:00

This is crossposted from my group blog, Teen Fiction Cafe, but I love this band and this fan art so much that I had to share it here too. Also, so that after yesterday's post you don't think I'm a total negative Nelly.

FROM TEEN FICTION CAFE:

Wendy shared some amazing things that she's been doing behind the scenes in her writing life on Tuesday. I think my favorite behind the scenes thing that happens in my writing life has to be emails and letters from readers. I'm not a super huge rock star of a writer so I don't get tons of these (which is always awkward to admit when the email starts something like "I'm sure you get tons of these so if you can't write back...") but even if I did, I know that every single one would matter to me. It seems like most email I get is either junk or bills or boring day-to-day stuff, so when I get an email from someone who enjoyed one or both of my books, it is literally the highlight of my day. I write the books that I would have wanted to read as a teen, so when teenagers tell me that they connected with my characters and were encouraged by the books in some way, I truly feel like I've done something meaningful. No matter how many books I sell, no matter what I do with my life after this, I'll have made some small impact for someone.

In some cases, readers tell me that they never liked reading until they read my books because my stories felt so real. Huge compliment and I always send them book recommendations so that hopefully they will come to love the world of books as much as I have. In other cases, since my books deal with issues like rape, drug abuse, depression, and self-injury, I get emails from readers who were inspired to confront their own personal demons or who found my books therapeutic and healing. Those are some of the most meaningful emails/conversations I've ever had.

And then I get emails from readers who inspire ME, which is super mega awesome. A couple of weeks ago, I got an email from a girl named Kayla Spazz in Australia. She told me how she'd gotten I WANNA BE YOUR JOEY RAMONE as a gift for her best friend, Acacia Pip. She explained that she'd done something that I definitely have done before when giving books as gifts--she read the book before she wrapped. She really loved it and she thought it was crazy how much my characters Emily and Regan reminded her of herself and Acacia, who were not only best friends but bandmates. She said their band, Smash Mystery is made up of three girls and a boy and they take a lot of guff for being a girl band, but she doesn't care because those folks will be eating their words when they are on the cover of Rolling Stone. I noticed a link to the band's website in her signature and clicked to check it out. You should click it too and listen to the song at the top of the page, "Dolls." I listened to it like five times. I ADORE it! I ADORE them! And Kayla and Acacia are 15! They will be taking over the world, I am sure of it!

That is what I love best about having written I WANNA BE YOUR JOEY RAMONE in particular, meeting girls like Kayla and Acacia who are actually living it. I wrote that book because I always wanted a band like She Laughs to top the charts and through the book I discover bands like Smash Mystery who are posed to do it. Serious awesomeness.

And the story gets even cooler. Acacia got her Christmas gift and read it, and thank goodness, loved it, too! She sent me a picture she'd made of my main character Emily Black in photoshop. And as it turns out she imagines Emily pretty much as I do. She said I could share it with you so here it is:

So this, in my opinion is the best behind-the-scenes part of the writing life. Hearing from readers and discovering how amazingly talented they are! Enjoy Smash Mystery :)

A month of fun followed by tough realizations for the New Year

2012-01-04T14:40:00.005-06:00

I've been keeping to myself for the past month or so. Haven't been blogging much (not that that is particularly new) and I haven't even really been on Twitter or Facebook. I've barely been keeping up on email. My house became (and parts of it still are) an utter disaster area. I threw my entire carefully plotted daily routine and usual healthy eating habits out of the window. And writing... I haven't really written since December 6th.

Why? Well I returned home from my writing retreat to a buttload of work. A bunch of freelance articles were due and in addition to that, I had 400+ pages of student work to read and review (I write individual letters to my students rather than simply grading them) for the Young Adult Fiction class I was teaching. Also on December 7th, my friend Lindsay arrived. Lindsay is one of my best friends in the whole wide world. We met during our freshman year at Antioch College, a tiny liberal arts school in Ohio. It turned out it was too tiny and too free-spirited to be a functional learning environment for me, so I dropped out after a very unproductive year. The best thing I got out of Antioch was Lindsay who I spent most of my free time with--and a lot of the time I was supposed to be in class, too. We spent the majority of that time drunk or finding ways to get booze or sneak into clubs/bars underage. (Turns out tiny little bars in tiny little towns in Ohio don't card too hard.) We invented a few drinking games including one using a board game for addiction treatment called "Road to Recovery" that we found in the "Wellness Center." (Yeah it was a real hippie school.) When we weren't drunk (and sometimes when we were), we had a lot of adventures on campus in the Glen, driving around small town Ohio and taking an epic road trip to New Orleans. (Though that motel where Emily and Louisa stay in New Orleans in IWBYJR, that's where we stayed. Also that crazy drugged out hallucination/near overdose Emily has may have been borrowed a bit from my own experience.) We also developed obsessions with things that most people wouldn't expect of a gutter punk (her) and a goth (me) namely the band Matchbox 20 and any and all movies starring the two Coreys.

After I left Antioch in 1998, Lindsay and I haven't seen much of each other. We both lived in Madison, Wisconsin for a couple of years, but our time there only overlapped by six months and I was in a bad relationship so I didn't spend as much time as I should have hanging out with her. We managed to maintain our friendship across the years and the miles though. Even if we go months without emailing, we tend to pick up right where we left off. She's visited me in Chicago. I've visited her in Tampa and Baltimore. But she's been living in Asia for the past few years so other than a brief visit while we were both in Baltimore in 2010, Skype has been the only way we've interacted. However she is finishing up a Master's degree that she started online and her campus is in Missouri about six hours away from me, so I suggested that before she moved down there, she stay with me for awhile.

So she arrived on December 7th and for the first week of her stay we both worked our asses off, her finishing up her coursework, me finishing up my teaching. Then I had a decide how I was going to cram time with Lindsay into my already hectic routine. To explain what that is, I bartend Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday nights from 7:30 pm to 2 am--3 on Saturdays. I basically spend all of the days up until I work and all day Monday and Tuesday writing my book, my freelance articles, keeping up with blogging, email and social networks. I run errands on Friday and go to writing group on Sunday afternoons. So my "free time" pretty much amounts to Monday and Tuesday evenings after I complete my work for the day (and sometimes I don't complete it until bedtime), Friday afternoons and evening after errand running, and Sunday evening after writer's group. There is very VERY little free time here. And I decided it was not enough to time to catch up with my friend who has been living overseas for years and will be headed back overseas come June. Also, as you can imagine fitting teaching into my routine (that class was Tuesday evenings) had caused even more of a time crunch. I was totally and completely burned out.

I thought, fuck it. I deserve a break. Or even if I don't (I have a really hard time not feeling guilty about taking breaks), if I don't take one, I am going to crack. So I did. I decided that aside from going to the bartending job and writing the freelances pieces as they came due, Lindsay and I would just have fun, go on adventures and entertain ourselves like we used to (except with a lot less booze because I proved in one night that I'm a massive lightweight now). I wrote about some of what we did in my local paper, which you can check out here, but in addition to that we:

Ate a lot of Taco Bell and Subway. Lindsay really missed the crappy yet delicious fast food we have here in America, so we indulged in a lot of it. I'm usually a very healthy eater, like I have these shakes for breakfast and a salad for lunch everyday and I've been doing that for about 2 years and realized I was insanely sick of it, so I went all out on the crappy food, eating whatever I wanted (as long as it was vegan, though I even cheated on the dairy a few times). I must admit, I enjoyed it. Only gained a few pounds too, so maybe I should indulge a little more often.
Drank a lot of champagne and juice. Not traditional mimosas, but we discovered (thanks to my mom at Christmas actually) that champagne mixes fabulously with cranberry juice, pomegranate juice, pretty much all juice. And it is safe for Stephanie the lightweight. Vodka is also generally safe for me so we had fun with cake-flavored vodka as well as some Smirnoff minis which you will hear more about.
Did a lot of thrift store and mall shopping. Despite the multiple jobs I mentioned above, I have a hard time making ends meet. A really hard time. I generally stick hardcore to a budget. I also don't have a car and only borrow one once a week from my mom to run errands, which means I don't really have time to go anywhere besides the grocery store. But Lindsay missed the mall and Target and especially thrift stores. So I decided to splurge on myself a little bit. Due to holiday sales and um thrift stores being super cheap, I was able to make my tiny splurge budget stretch, so it was actually pretty fun. I found a bunch of great $1.50 necklaces at Forever 21 one day and got a lot of new used clothes.
We also got this book, a guide to transforming poorly fitted t-shirts into new clothes! Due to being an insecure teenager, I bought all of my t-shirts in L and XL for years. They have been piling up in my closet for a decade because I finally have enough self-esteem to dress in fitted clothes, but I'm too nostalgic to part with the shirt from the 1995 Mudhoney concert. We spent DAYS transforming shirts into new improved shirts and in one case a skirt. Here are my favorites, a Mudhoney halter, a Sleater-Kinney lace-up tank, a Sex Pistols skirt, and best of all, a halter made from two of my old riot grrrl shirts. It is going to be my favorite shirt of the summer I know it.

We took a mini-road-trip to Missouri to find her an apartment in her college town. It was very much the Bible Belt. We took pictures of giant crosses on the road and took the tracts from the hotel lobby and posed them with some mini liquor bottles we found--and finding liquor on a Sunday night was a feat. It led us unfortunately at first to a frat boy bar, but Lindsay and I made do the way we always have.

In addition to revisiting our history of road trips and bad bars, we also revisited our Corey obsession and did a marathon of all three Lost Boys movies. Yep, there are three. The two sequels went straight to DVD. Lindsay and I did not let this deter us. After all we did watch "Blown Away," which was basically a soft porn starring the two Coreys during the height of our obsession in the late 90s. And back then we had to put actual effort into finding those movies by seeking out and getting memberships at all of the video stores in a 30 mile radius of Antioch. These were on Netflix streaming so what the hell..... Just so you are warned in case you are thinking of making a day of Lost Boys movies, those sequels were straight to DVD for a reason. We pronounced the last one, "The Thirst," as literally the worst thing either of us had ever seen... and we've seen some bad shit as evidenced by the soft porn I mentioned earlier.
After the Lost Boys disaster, we decided to feed nostalgia only from trusted sources. I found a forty-nine cent copy of Clueless on VHS at the thrift store (yes, I still have a VCR) and it was the best money I've spent possibly ever. We also watched Dazed and Confused and Gross Pointe Blank, but that's not all....
Lindsay brought back a bunch of TV shows on DVD from Asia because umm they are cheaper there... also probably not totally legal, but what the hell. I'd seen a couple episodes of the original Skins (I would not watch the MTV version to save my life) and wanted to see more, so we watched 4 seasons of it. I have the 5th season too and we started it, but we just weren't sold. We both loved the first two seasons with the original cast. That may have been some of the most incredible, fucked-up, honest storytelling about teens I've ever seen. But we really didn't like the second cast and the third didn't grow one us immediately, so we quit and moved on to....
Firefly. This was not one Lindsay brought for us (I still have a few seasons of Sons of Anarchy and two UK shows she thought I'd like, Being Human and Spaced). My brother gave my husband Firefly and Serenity for Christmas because he felt there was a major gap in my TV viewing for a lover of sci-fi. Yes, there was. It was literally one of the best shows ever and I am belatedly pissed at Fox for canceling it.
We also cashed out half a season of Supernatural with my friend from my writing group. The "group" is really just me and my friend and we generally write during the day on Sundays and then eat dinner while watching Supernatural as a reward for our hard work. Well, the two times we got together while Lindsay was in town, we basically just went straight for the reward. I'm now into season 3 of Supernatural and insanely in love with it.
In addition to TV, Lindsay and I rediscovered video games. My husband has an old Sega Genesis and I introduced Lindsay to my favorite game from junior high/high school: ToeJam and Earl. Your goal is to help a pair of alien rappers find the pieces of the spaceship they crashed. It's a rare breed who loves ToeJam and Earl. As it turns out Lindsay is One Of Us. We spent hours on that game before finally looking up a cheat code so we could win. We also found a bunch of cheat codes for Sonic the Hedgehog, though we sadly did not have enough time to beat that before Lindsay left yesterday morning.

Now, no doubt you are thinking a couple of things about me. 1. I excel at being a slacker. 2. Giving up my routine must have been easy because I sure took to it like a fish to water. and 3. I must be well-rested now and ready to get back to work.

You would only be right about one of those things. The first one. I do find some amazingly fun ways to waste time when I'm in the right company and after I've shut off the little internal alarm that is screaming at me about being irresponsible. The routine that I've trained myself to follow for the past couple of years was really hard to kick. I felt horribly guilty at first. The house was a warzone (especially the basement which became the TV-watching, shirt-making, video-game-playing, champagne-drinking den). There was healthy food going to waste. I was spending money I didn't really have. I wasn't keeping in touch with people online. Worst of all, I wasn't sitting down to write. But once I did break the routine, I discovered something, the thing that makes #3 untrue: I was miserable.

I've been miserable and depressed for much of the last two years. I know it. My friends and family know it. People online even know it because I'm not very good at faking contentedness. Also because I have the guilt thing, I feel guilty that everyone knows I'm miserable. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer. So then I try to fake contentedness which only makes me more miserable. It's a vicious cycle. So I tried to create this routine to keep myself busy at all times, feel productive and keep the misery at bay. For much of 2011 it worked. I did feel better for the most part about my writing than I did in the epic disaster that was 2010. But deep down all of the self-doubt and misery lurked. It's been hard keeping to the routine. It's been hard sacrificing everything, especially my time with my husband and my friends because I have to work non-stop at four different jobs to make ends meet and the ends still aren't meeting. It's incredibly draining. And after Lindsay left yesterday, I did collapse sobbing because I don't want to go back to it. I dread it almost as much as I did my office drone job that I quit in 2008.

I really enjoyed staying off the internet because while it connects me with people, it also tends to remind me of all that I'm not. I haven't sold a book in almost four years. I don't write quickly. I don't write splashy books that are going to sell hugely. Before I sold my first book I was so unaware of the writing industry, I just wrote for the love of the story, there was no pressure, it was just fun. The first year of being actually published was fun--well the first couple months were at least, but then the pressure set in and I've been wondering lately if I'm cut out for it. Maybe I'm too emotional for this cut-throat industry. And maybe it doesn't matter because who knows if I will ever sell another book again. I hope I do, but you just don't know.

Something really ugly happened at the beginning of the New Year. I was bartending. It was a slow and crappy night. I was about to close. It was just me and a few regulars which was cool but then this guy came in. A guy I shouldn't have let in because I knew he was douchebag. Sure enough, he behaved like one and long story short, I asked him to leave on his way out, he screamed at me about how I was shit, how my life was pathetic, how I was just a bartender at a shitty bar and I would never be anything more than that and he felt sorry for me. He wasn't drunk. He was definitely a tool and I know his words shouldn't mean anything to me. What should matter is that my friend Drew stood up for me and screamed back at him how I was a published author and I was awesome, etc, etc. But that guy managed to put my biggest fears right there on display literally 3 hours in 2012. It seemed like a terrible omen. I mean, I'm trying not to let it be, but it's still gnawing at me.

So I'm going into this new year feeling extremely uncertain about everything. I'm spending this week cleaning my house, organizing things and this weekend, my husband and I are going away for some quality time. (My Christmas present to him plus a thank you for letting me and my friend take over the house for a month.) Then I'll come back and try to get back into my novel. I'm scared because it seems like it's not clicking more than it's clicking for me and awesome and exciting as the idea is, I'm not sure I can pull it off. I'm not sure I have the drive for it. That is the really terrifying thing: I'm afraid the pressure that I've put on myself for the past few years has sucked the joy out of writing for me. Between that and the financial strain, I've been seriously considering going back to school for library science, thinking maybe if I focus my love of words and YA lit in another way I'll find the passion again.

Now don't think I'm quitting. I'm not. Not at this point at least. I've always promised myself that I'd give it to the end of 2012 before I reevaluated my career path. And last time I got to this point was five years ago and right before I started applying for schools, my first book sold. Maybe that will happen again and the Bartender Book will sell. But even that is not going to be a magic band-aid. No matter what this is going to be a year of reevaluation, a year of finding balance and I've realized that balance doesn't just mean getting all the things crossed off my to-do list and fitting at least three or four hours of writing in every day. It means having time to feel like a normal person. To wind down and watch TV or read or play games. To do the projects like t-shirt making that I always end up just telling myself I'm going to do. To be happy and relaxed as much of the time as possible. Or at least to feel on most days like I did when I was drinking champagne and playing old video games with Lindsay.

I'm not sure how to make that happen. I'm especially not sure how to do it with all of my jobs and writing. I guess I have to start with not overcommitting to things and making my to-do list too long, but I'm not really sure how to do that. That's why I'm spending this week regrouping, this weekend (well really Sunday, Monday, Tuesday) reenergizing with my husband and the rest of next week trying to push myself so fully into my story world and detach from all those writing pressures so I can evaluate if it's just the pressure that's getting to me, if the story is part of the problem or if I really have begun to lose my passion. Also thanks to Jeri Smith-Ready (who along with Tara Kelly, Karen Mahoney and Vanessa Barneveld have kept me from totally breaking down about all of this), I'm going to start a five-year journal to keep track of how I'm feeling day to day. I explained the five-year journal pretty much exactly as Jeri explained it to me on the Rookie Tumblr so if you want to know more, go here. The Rookie Tumblr is totally rad by the way and way better than my blog or tumblr.

Sorry for the epic post that is kind of a downer, which is not the way most people want to start out New Year's I know. And I may delete this, I'm not sure... But I just felt like I had to be honest even if I only keep it up for a night. And for those of you who do read it and have any suggestions for how to balance or detach all the baggage I've attached to writing over the past few years, I'd be eager for your tips.

GCC Presents: Laurie Faria Stolarz

2011-12-23T15:23:00.002-06:00

Happy Holidays, all! Sorry I am quite on the blog front. I have a friend in town this month and am laying low hanging out with her.

One of my girlfriends from the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit has a new book out though, so I wanted to give you the lowdown on it. Here's Deadly Little Voices by Laurie Faria Stolarz!

Camelia Hammond thought her powers of psychometry gave her only the ability to sense the future through touch. But now she’s started to hear voices. Cruel voices. Berating her, telling her how ugly she is, that she has no talent, and that she'd be better off dead. Camelia is terrified for her mental stability, especially since her deranged aunt with a suicidal history, has just moved into the house. As if all of that weren't torturing enough, Camelia's ex-boyfriend, Ben, for whom she still harbors feelings and who has similar psychometric abilities, has started seeing someone else. Even her closest friends, Kimmie and Wes, are unsure how to handle her erratic behavior.

With the line between reality and dream consistently blurred, Camelia turns to pottery to get a grip on her emotions. She begins sculpting a figure skater, only to receive frightening premonitions that someone's in danger. But who is the intended victim? And how can Camelia help that person when she’s on the brink of losing her own sanity?

From DEADLY LITTLE VOICES:

“You’re just one big fat joke,” the voice hisses.
I cover my ears, but the insults keep coming.
“Just do it,” a voice whispers. It’s followed by more voices, of different people. They talk over each other and mingle together, producing one clear cut message – that I’m a waste of a life.
I rock back and forth, trying to remain in control. I smother my ears with the sheet. Press my forehead against my knees. Pound my heels into the floor, bracing myself for what comes next.
Meanwhile, there’s a drilling sensation inside my head; it pushes through the bones of my skull, and makes me think that I’m going crazy.
“Please,” I whisper. More tears sting my eyes. I shake my head, wondering if maybe I’m already dead, if maybe the voices are part of hell.

Sounds intense, doesn't it! Definitely going on my list to buy with holiday money!

Pictures & Wisdom from my Writing Retreat

2011-12-05T12:23:00.006-06:00

Once again I am blogging to you live from the airport! Gotta love airports with free wi-fi (unlike O'Hare or Midway, more points against you sour home Chicago). Anyway, sadly I am now on my way home from my retreat. It is ending way too early as they always do.

I went into this not quite sure what my goals were or what to expect. It wasn’t the same as my trip to San Diego in January where the goal was either make the book work or die. I mentioned in the blog entry that I wrote in the airport when I arrived here that I’d been struggling in a different. It had been so long since I’d started a book that I wasn’t really sure what my process was. The amount of plotting I’d done felt like overkill, writing words for the sake of words during NaNoWriMo wasn’t getting me into the story. I had this awesome opening chapter/prologue, but aside from that, I kept stalling out.

But Monday night when I arrived, I was positive that I would do amazing work when I woke up on Tuesday. Yeah, not so much.

For me, a creature of habit who fears changes, it takes time just to adjust to the retreat space. The house in Arizona that the ten of us rented (Melissa Marr and Kelley Armstrong doing all the arrangements, so I must give them credit for that because they are incredible, I know it was hard work and they are very busy women and I felt privileged to be invited) was gorgeous. It had:

a giant master suite plus four bedrooms
a casita (where Melissa and I stayed and we called it “the shed” though it really was like a nice apartment off the side of the house with a kitchenette, bathroom, etc.). It looked like this from the outside:

a huge kitchen with a table where most people worked:

living room with cozy fireplace where after some trying out of different locales, I mostly worked (on the corner of that black couch):

dining room with a big table and regal looking chairs where we had our meals:

a pool with a slide, waterfall, hot tub and swim-up bar:

tennis/basketball courts

fitness room (which was above the casita)
media room (like with big chairs and a projector screen, though sadly we never used it)
koi pond

And my favorite thing an in ground trampoline:

So it was the most luxurious place I’d ever stayed. Plus it was Arizona. Warm. Sunny. Things that Chicago is not.

Work for the most part took place on the big living room couches and chairs and the giant kitchen table. But wanting to take advantage of the sun, I tried writing outside the first couple of days. This is not ideal because the sun makes it hard to see the screen. But I did my damndest to write by the pool and the koi pond. The writing quickly turned to panicked emails to my critique partners because as much plotting as I’d done, the writing still wasn’t clicking. Something just Wasn’t Right.

Day Two, I staked out a balcony which shaded me from the glare, but was still a warm outdoorsy place to write. This was my view:

Except for that I was still stuck. Fortunately the lovely Tara Kelly emailed me and I started to figure things out and she said I could call her. After a good twenty minutes on the phone, I realized I had a very simple fix for my beginning. It was staring me in the face the whole time, I just needed Tara to tap me on the shoulder and go, “Dude, LOOK!” Tara also provided me with music for my book. I felt like this book needs a mixture of angry female punk ala Hole and The Distillers, which I got covered, but also darkwave/synthpop/goth/industrial, which I haven’t really listened to in 10 years. Tara sent me some YouTube videos and made a whole spotify playlist for me that (with a couple of my own additions) I have been listening to pretty much nonstop since Wednesday like these:

I needed music for inspiration, but I don’t generally listen to it while I write. The retreat environment makes this more necessary though because even though we had strictly enforced quiet hours, sometimes I wanted to write through the talking-permitted hours, not to mention listening to everyone else’s keyboards clicking kinda makes me feel like I’m not working hard enough. What will be interesting is to see if I keep writing to this music because I think it really is helping me with the mood of the book.

So I had a total breakthrough on…. Thursday? Friday maybe? (This is the lovely thing about retreat is without a bartending and teaching schedule I don’t have to keep track of the days. I really wish I had more pure writing days.) when I remember how I work. I detailed it in this Tumblr post in the moment, but basically it is this.

I have a long gestational period with books. I think about them for years. I have a few that I am thinking about at a time, so sometimes (like this time and last time), when I finish one it take a while for me to decide which is the next one to pursue. I write back and forth, I ponder, ultimately I picked one. I knew this part already, the next part, I’d forgotten. I have to write in circles for awhile. This may include (as it did this time) writing summary and back story and trying scenes over and over again and writing one solid scene and then trying (and always failing) to write fast. I do this until I figure out the essential things that will keep me moving through the next few chapters.

This took a really long time with this book. I’m not sure if it was my own insecurities holding me back or what, but until I had the discussion I did with Tara and figured out one very basic thing, I could not break into the book. I was starting to think that either A. I’d chose the wrong book or B. since everyone kept saying that I had chose the right book that I simply did not have it in me to write anymore. Then I remembered how. I had the Eureka moment.

Here is how I write WHEN I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING (and mind you I usually only know what I’m doing in terms of where the next couple chapters are going, then I have to trust that I will figure it out as I am writing or I stall out, have the crisis where I brainstorm, call/email critique partners, ponder quitting, etc):

I sit down and reread some NOT all of what came before. I know where I started getting tired and phoning it in the day before and I generally start reading right above that section and start polishing. Polishing eventually continues forward into new words, which are strong at first. Then the words become shitty, but I press on until either A. I get as far as I wanted to get or B. I’ve run out of writing time for the day. The next morning (hopefully) I will repeat this, starting with the polishing and move onward.

Eventually as I recall, I get so into the story that I could give a shit about the polish and I just plow through because this is a first draft (as opposed to a rough or zero draft which is what I ended up doing with The Bartender Book as a result of writing too fast and it was highly displeasing) and I know I’m going to rewrite.

I wish I could stay on this retreat for at least another week or two to get to that point. I’m so fucking excited about this book. I’m excited and I have an idea of what happens in the next couple chapters. Other people on my retreat finished projects or met huge word goals, but this is what I needed and I am pleased with myself.

The only concerns I have now are keeping the momentum going. The awesome thing about being in a house of 8 or 9 writers is that when I start to get tired or have a headache or whatever, all of the excuses that I would totally use to surf the internet or laze around at home, I don’t because I see other people working. So I need to keep that up. I’m also terrified because going home means returning to a lot of none-writing work. I have 400+ pages of student work to read and make notes on by the 13th. I have several freelance deadlines on the 11th. I have one of my best friends in the whole world coming to visit for a month on the 7th. So yeah….. I have to some how keep writing this Modern Myth Book in the mix. Hopefully my determination will be enough.

So as not to end on a nervous/god I hate reality (minus my husband and friends) note, I will tell you a few more awesome things about the retreat:

Working in a big giant house gave me a visual for the big giant house that my character will live in, something I had a very hard time imagining because I don’t share a class background with her at all.
Sharing writing space with some of my biggest writing inspirations, some of whom are good friends that I don’t see often enough, others of whom I just know from online/their books and now have discovered that they are fabulous in person.
Decompressing after quiet time and have plot/road block talk around a fire pit with people who actually understand plot and don’t just stare at you for having a wild imagination:

Nightly meals with writer friends where you get to discuss more plot things as well as industry stuff that non-writer friends don’t get/find boring.
The nightly meals include Sarah Rees Brennan making curry and good lord does she make wonderful curry. She is also adorable and hilarious. Oh and Melissa Marr introduced me to Catalina dressing. Nom!
The nightly meals involve wine and sometimes Melissa’s fab cosmos. (There are drinks, but I do not have to bartend!)
The nightly meals/chats move either to the hot tub or the living room fireplace depending on the weather.
Since the hot tub is hot and the pool is a balmy 80 degrees sometimes you go nightswimming. And there is an awesome slide that you can go down. Repeatedly.
Instead of your usual workout, you can swim or run around the tennis court which has a wall that you can attempt to play racquetball against even though you suck.
Or you can go for your very first ever hike in the desert. Freaking gorgeous.

When you meet your final goal of the final writing day, you can bounce on the giant trampoline. If I had a giant trampoline to reward myself with, I’d be a more productive writer. Just sayin’

Lessons on book beginnings and NaNoWriMo and other things I'm bringing to my writing retreat

2011-11-28T16:11:00.005-06:00

I went to great lengths to document my struggles with the Bartender book so that I would have a reminder of what I’d been through before and what I did to get past the hard parts. I even wrote a post for Nova Ren Suma’s inspiration series on her blog about how my struggle with that book will inspire me in the future because I’ve learned how good a hard-won victory feels. (All of the inspiration posts on Nova’s blog are amazing, so be sure to check them out.) But I've never documented how I start a new book and this is proving to be a bit of a dilemma as I try to settle into a groove with my new YA project, which henceforth shall be called the Modern Myth book. (Just like the the Bartender book-- and before it the Rock Star Girl book and the Suburbia book--it has a real title, but I'm superstitious.)

I don't remember struggling with the beginning of a book in quite the way I am now. All of my books definitely come together slowly, but generally they do so visually in that I start clearly seeing (and writing!) characters and scenes. IWBYJR worked like that. I saw different moments in both Emily's and Louisa's lives, I wrote them and then one day while I was in an underground tunnel waiting for the train, it all came together. Emily would be a rock star and this fucked-up Louisa character would be her mom. From there, I just wrote and wrote, mostly in a non-linear fashion until I reached my usual point of self-doubt and chaos roughly three-fourths of the way through the book when I finally sat down and outlined. As I've mentioned before, BALLADS was actually started years before IWBYJR. I wrote a crappy rough draft that was way too autobiographical, decided I didn't feel comfortable with it and would write another suburbia story once I had better (ie. not as real-life based) ideas for it. When I finished IWBYJR, it was the only time I went directly to work on another book without having to flirt with several ideas first. It was also relatively simple (in my memory at least) because I pretty much took the ideas I'd come up with while I was working IWBYJR, combined them with my old draft and had a outline. I plowed ahead linearly that time until I reached the usual self-doubt part, which actually came about after I finished my draft that time.

And then there was the Bartender Book. The characters in the Bartender Book date back to grad school (ie. IWBYJR writing days) and they went through a few different incarnations too: a short story, fifty pages of a YA version of the novel. I also flirted with an early incarnation of the Modern Myth book at that time, but I sat down and drafted and then re-drafted the first 100-125 pages of the Bartender Book between March and early July of last year. That was a happy time. Then all hell broke lose. But ultimately, as you know, I finished that last month and was pumped and ready to dive into my next project.

The usual battle of the ideas took place. I'd been meaning to go back to the Modern Myth book, which is actually an idea that I’ve been toying with since early 2008 and wrote a 75-page partial for last spring. That partial failed to sell because it just isn't a good market for selling on partial unless you are a big name and I'm not. I'm actually relieved it didn't sell because I knew that partial was Just Not Right for reasons I couldn't quite put a finger on. So I did the same thing I had with that old, Not Quite Right version of BALLADS while I was working on IWBYJR, I set aside the Modern Myth book and made notes occasionally while I worked on the Bartender book. However I did not make as many notes because the Bartender book was frustrating and all consuming. Also I was intimidated by the Modern Myth book and I got another great, shiny new idea that seemed easier. So I spent the last week of October/first week of November going back and forth between the ideas, trying to decide which I liked better and since I like both and unfortunately still have a lack of confidence in my own gut, I sent to them my agent and some critique/brainstorming partners to decide. They voted Modern Myth book. I totally adore it as well, but it scares me shitless. Some of that is the usual self doubt (those natural fears that I suck/I'll never write another book/if this book isn't super awesome my career is shot, fears that aren't fun, but do keep me motivated and on my toes in a way), but the fear mainly stems from this being new territory. This book is still edgy and contemporary and *mostly* realistic, but the key issue here is the *mostly.* It has a twist, a bit of otherworldliness or magical realism, that modern myth thing.

Getting going on this book has been strange because instead of diving headlong into it like my first three, I'm slowly dipping my toes in, contemplating how the water feels and what it looks like in front of me. Maybe I did do this with my other books and just don't remember.... That's the problem with taking over a year to write a book, you really *don't* remember. All you can do is try things until something seems right and remind yourself all the while that every book is different.

I've done a lot of plotting for this book, which is something I rarely ever do. I usually see a scene, write it, then another scene, and so on til I get stuck and then I outline. Or more recently, I write roughly 50 pages for an agent or editor and put together a rough outline to go with it. But this time I sat down and started writing a summary. I even sent it to a couple of critique partners and brainstormed with them on it. I'm not entirely sure why I felt the need to do this--because it's story with mythical/otherworldly elements so it seemed like I was supposed or because I was just nervous after all the struggling with the Bartender book and because the previous partial didn't work.

After writing a general outline, the first 30 pages and confirming with my agent that this should be the next book, I decided to take advantage of NaNoWriMo to get going. This is also something that I've never tried before. I told myself I was aiming for 30K instead of 50 since I was already "cheating" by using a project I've written on. Secretly though, I kinda wanted that 50K. It started strong at first, but by the second week, I hit a wall, I couldn't see the scenes that I needed to write. I had no idea what was going on. So I went back into summary mode and wrote 10k words figuring out the back story and the middle of the book that has been hazy. Then I dove back in again writing fast and furious. By Thanksgiving, if I counted the chunk of summary, I'd met my personal goal of 30K. I ranged from writing 19 words (on a day when I had *no* time, but wanted to get something written, so I wrote a sentence) to over 2k. I averaged closer to 800-1000 words. Some days were good, but a lot were bad in that they *felt* bad. I wasn't enjoying the writing, I was just doing it to make my quota and it was crap.

This is when I discovered that there are varying degrees of crap. I expect my first draft to be shitty. I mostly want to get it over with, so I can get to the rewrite and polish, which is what I consider to be the good part. But there is that kind of acceptable crappy and then there is the crap where you are writing words for words' sake and you aren't connecting with the story at all. Maybe some people don't see the difference and can write through that disconnected feeling. I envy them as they probably write way fast than me. But I can't do it.

I didn't write Thanksgiving Day, and the day after I banged out about 150 shitty words because I was exhausted (Thanksgiving is a very busy bar time and I'd been working). Saturday when I was better rested, I tried to push myself to write 1500 or 2k words, thinking that if I just keep going til November 30th, maybe I'll have a full 30K that doesn't include summary or maybe I'll even get 50K if I really push. Then I could go back and fix all of it and finally capture the spirit of the story.... Hold on, I realized, why am I waiting to a certain date or certain word count to do what I know I need to do.

NaNoWriMo doesn't work for me in this stage of the game. Looking back at the Bartender book and my other two books, I realized that I really spent time on and homed the first 100 pages. Sure I end up doing a lot more polishing, and in the case of the Bartender book a lot of changing and restructuring, but by spending that time trying to write at a higher quality (not gourmet Mexican food, but not Taco Bell either, maybe Qdoba or Chipotle), I got to know my characters and their voices, my place, and the tone of the story. I don't have that for the Modern Myth book because I only wrote 25-30 polished pages. I won't ever find that by speeding along and writing a rough draft that is basically an outline with dialogue. It's just not how I function.

So, even though it's not December 1, I am done counting words for now. I met my personal goal and NaNoWriMo *did* work for me in a couple ways. It got me writing daily, something I plan to continue whenever possible even if it just means putting in 30 minutes or a couple of sentences on my busy days. I also loved the community of support and plan to keep posting about my goals and cheerleading other writers online. It also got my brain spinning on this book. Sometimes just putting the shitty words on the page got me to think about other parts of the book and helped me figure more out. And last but not least I learned (again in some ways because I did have disastrous results when I tried to write part of the Bartender book fast, though that was for different reasons) that I'm a turtle writer and I just have to accept this. Especially at the beginning of the process. I need a long time to stew and then I need to ease in to get to know the story. Then I can pick up momentum and set bigger word count goals and be less perfectionist (unless I have a major out of control sub plot, which was the issue with the Bartender book and why writing fast just dug me into a deeper hole.

I actually think that NaNoWriMo might work for me on novels that I'm roughly 30 to 35K into. That's the point when I need to stop lingering, obsessing and just go. I'm kind of hoping (though given my usual writing pace, it may be wishful thinking) that next year will line up that way. I know that is "cheating," but 50K isn't a whole book and I'm not the kind of writer who can write a bare bones book and then expand in the rewrite. (I wish I was! I feel like it would be less painful than all the cutting I've had to do.) So using it to finish a book when I'm at a good place to sprint would be awesome.

But for now, I'm going back to the beginning (or almost the beginning) to try to break into the story world. I'm actually writing this from an airport baggage claim while I wait for a friend that I'm going to a writing retreat in the Arizona desert with. I hope that removing myself from my busy life and fully immersing myself in writing the book will help.

I did a similar retreat (warm locale, same writer friends) in January when I was finishing up the first draft of the Bartender book. I talked about what I was packing and what my approach to that retreat was here, but this retreat is different since I'm starting a novel rather than trying finish/save a broken one. So I brought pics of the moodboard that I'm building for the novel at home:

Of course I can always look at my tumblr for visual muses too. (And so can you by going here.) I also have a very messy playlist (mostly a hodgepodge of Distillers, Hole, and The Corin Tucker Band songs that capture the general feeling of the book, but don't necessarily correlate directly with scenes/chapters as my playlists tend to do more of as my novels progress). I added a few more songs to the playlist ("Burn" by The Cure, "Clown" by Switchblade Symphony, "Ash Gray Sunday" by Screaming Trees, and "How Dirty Girls Get Clean" by Hole) and I also put the Faith and The Muse CDs I found in a box recently on my iPod because I feel like they might help. (I need to combine punk and goth for this book...) I only brought one paperback, which along with critique partner manuscripts will be my pleasure reading. Then I brought my research books, two nonfiction books on lore and mythology from a feminist perspective and a graphic novel that is a big inspiration behind this book. I also brought a plot book, which I read some of on the plane and used to go through the print out of my outline/summary. I still have a lot of questions for myself and I'm nervous as hell, but I think I have as much of a grip on the plot as I can right now and tomorrow I shall wake and begin a week of serious work.

I know it will be rough and crappy, but as long as I connect with it I'll be pleased. Hopefully I can return in love with this story and eager to keep up the daily writing routine that NaNoWriMo got me into with more realistic goals (500 words) until I'm ready to start sprinting.

That's my plan of action, what's yours? Especially if you did NaNoWriMo or some version of it, how did it go and what did you learn?

My November Writing Goals, Tips, and Roadblocks

2011-11-07T20:58:00.004-06:00

While I didn't officially join National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo, I've been trying to set active daily goals and a larger monthly goal so I too can benefit from the creative energy that my fellow writers put out into the universe during November. In other words, I'm a member of the NaNoWriMo Cheaters Club. I'm not following the rules of NaNo, but I'm trying to use that same sense of motivation to get myself into a new project. Suzanne Lazear wrote a great post about making NaNo work for you that pretty much sums up why I'm doing what I'm doing and she also is running a huge month long contest for all you guys with November goals, so check that out. I did sign up there and I've also been posting my goals regularly on facebook, twitter, and doing my best to cheer on those who respond. A group of friends of mine from high school are keeping each other motivated and checking in together as well. Oooh and I have a new office, freshly painted by my husband, perfectly arranged by me, but still in the process of being decorated so no pictures for you yet. Anyway, I feel like I have all kinds of good writing juju going on and that I could do this NaNoWriMo thing--or my version of it at least.

I suppose I should tell you what that version is and explain my goals for the month.

A week ago I sat down with two YA ideas that I couldn't decide between. I had roughly 30 pages written on each as well as general outline. My indecision and pages already written were what stopped me from officially signing up for NaNo, not to mention the fact that in the past word count goals that make me write fast and furious have not worked well for me. They go against my nature to write slowly and thoughtfully at least until I get into a groove. They also pushed me wayyyyy off track with the Bartender Book. So I wasn't ready to commit to 50K words in a month. I decided that 30K was more my speed and I thought I would alternate back and forth between my two book ideas until I picked one.

Day one I worked on the book idea I've had the longest. I've been toying with it in some fashion since the spring of 2008 and spent all summer hashing out what the problems with my older versions of the idea were with some critique partners and coming up with a general synopsis, some characters and these muses that I blogged about back in August. Yeah, that's right, August. I've been struggling with it ever since then, mainly because I see the very beginning of the book and I see the last third or so and I know what has to happen to get me there, but I can't see it unfolding. And normally the way I work on a book is that I have a character, a general theme, and I see a really compelling scene so I write it. Then I write the next scene and the next and so on. I don't usually even outline or plan until I'm a ways in, sometimes not even until I'm stuck. This book is not happening in my usual way. It made me think it was either a good candidate for NaNo-style writing because it would force me to write fast and push past the parts where I was having trouble and make discoveries or it was a terrible candidate because even though I think the idea is brilliant, I am not capable of carrying it out. Day one went well though. I had only limited time and I still managed to pound out 1710 words. They were awful and ugly but the story was moving forward.

Day two, I started work on YA idea #2. It's a shiny new idea as far as my ideas go, meaning I've only been playing with it since spring. It's been flowing like my ideas usually do. I had a character, a general theme or concept and I saw a really powerful scene and just started writing. It was unfolding pretty brilliantly except I had the nagging feeling that it was missing something, the big something that would make the structure work and define the spirit of the story, like the notebook of "ballads" in Ballads. It might still be too new, I worried, but I told myself it could be perfect for NaNo style writing since it was unfolding pretty well in my head. I found out pretty immediately that it wasn't. I did 861 words in the amount of time it had taken me to do 1710 on YA idea #1. I was wondering if it was a sign. Then my agent called. That was definitely a sign.

My agent told me how much she adored YA idea #1. She liked #2 as well, but she felt like #1 was so me and had so much potential and she reassured me that even though it was huge and scary I could totally pull it off. We figured out one of the things that had been stumping me and I told her I would do it, I would commit to YA idea #1. I had a couple of hours before I had to go work so I dove in and wrote as much as I could on YA idea #1 so I would have a decent word count on it for the day. I got 974 words on that project, bringing my total for the day to 1835.

I was revved by all of this, my inspiring talk with my agent and surpassing my own 1K goal to acheive real NaNo-size word counts for the first two days. I forged ahead and got 1722 words on day 3, but then things started to go downhill. Friday and Saturday are my busy days of the week and generally I don't write on those days. I view writing as my full-time job (even though I have a couple of part-time jobs on top of it that actually pay the bills) so usually I take Friday and Saturdays "off" and run errands or on some rare occasions, I socialize. Friday I actually had a ton of errands and staff meeting for my teaching job, so I only had half an hour to write, but I managed 655 words. Saturday I had a good couple of hours but only wrote 714 words. Sunday is usually a writing day for me, and though I am generally worn out from working til 3 am at my bar job on Saturday nights, I have a writing meet-up with one of my best friends that keeps me pretty productive. I did squeeze out 1013 words, but they were abysmal. Then yesterday, Monday, which is usually my best writing day of the week because I don't work the night before *and* I'm not going to either my teaching or bartending job at night so I don't feel the pressure to get done at an exact time, I wrote a terrible 741 words.

What is happening here? I think it's a couple things:

1. I'm stuck. As I mentioned before, I'm not seeing scenes for this part of book. I was hoping I could speed my way through and stumble on something but

2. while it got me over an initial hump, writing fast is not satisfying. I need to develop the voice of this book, it's texture, it's imagery and when I speedrace through, I'm not taking enough time to do that.

Nova Ren Suma wrote a great post about taking her writing slowly and rewriting as she goes and that is something I feel more comfortable with. But at the same time, I hate the fact that I write so slowly and I hate first drafts so I kind of want to get the rough draft done fast so I can get to the good bit: the rewriting!

Clearly what I need is to find some sort of balance where I take my time on some bits to develop voice and imagery and all that good stuff, but I don't worry about getting every scene perfect. However, time management is a huge issue for me. As I mentioned before, I only write 5 days a week, but I feel like this month, I should try to squeeze in even half an hour every day. I'm also trying to figure out how to deal with my life so I actually accomplish all I need to accomplish in one day and am not up at 12:42 am when I want to be in bed reading AMPLIFIED (have you seen the Women Who Rock Wednesday interview on that? Go read it and enter the contest.) but instead I have to finish the blog entry I meant to write at 5 pm and couldn't because I got behind on my teaching stuff and my freelance stuff and ended up totally neglecting my husband yet again. I know that for a lot of my friends who do NaNo, it's a way to fit writing into their hectic lives. Writing is already in my hectic life, but ever since I added teaching and writing for ROOKIE into the mix this fall, I haven't figured out how to get all I want done in a day. Anyway, that is probably a whole separate and personal issue (though I'd love to take time management tips if you have them as long as they don't involved get up ass early since I am a bartender and work til 2 or 3 am), but my point is I think I rush to reach word count because I have limited time to write fiction, and then even on days like yesterday (which is still today as I type this because I'm up too late) when I have plenty of time, I get these anxiety about building up words for days like today where I'll have limited time. But I need to start thinking about quality as well as quantity. I don't want to move at a snail's pace, but I don't want to throw words on the page just for the sake of a number. Of course this is easier said than done for the girl who is very clear concise goal oriented.

Also the larger problem is this "not seeing the scenes I need to be writing" thing. I'm really not sure how to remedy that. I did write my first book non-linearly by just "going to the moment that takes your attention" as I was coached to do in my MFA program, but since I wrote my last two books linearly, I'm a little freaked out about doing this, especially since in this case I'm seeing the very last part of the book and it seems just wrong to write that first.

I'm really hoping that slowing down and really lushly describing the places or the backstory or whatever might help. Part of me honestly wants to make a moodboard for the story. This is ROOKIE's influence on me. You can see the monthly moodboard for our latest issue here as an example and Tavi shows off her moodboard for the month here. I don't know if this moodboard thing is like a fashion world thing or what, but I think it is rad as hell. I also think I should have done it to prep for this month and now maybe it's just procrastinating. In my defense, I didn't have time to prepare. I finished revisions, I caught up on everything I put off while doing revisions and then I dove back into this thing. Maybe I need some muse time...

Though I would rather try to find the muse while writing. Last week one of my friends was struggling and I told her about some exercises that I teach. I'm going to share them here in case they are useful to you, too. I also may take my own advice and try a couple of them. Or jump ahead. Or slow down. Or perhaps one each day this week til I get it right. However I would also love any writing exercises or tricks you may try when you know the basic plot but aren't seeing the scenes unfold.

Here are my tools:

1. The Hands exercise: In the first paragraph, describe the space, the room the character is in which may be significant to them. In the second paragraph, describe the character's hands. That's right, skip over their face and other features we usually go to and describe their hands. You can tell a lot by hands: age, job, past through scars and tattoos, do they bite or manicure their nails. Next paragraph describe what they are doing with their hands: rolling a cigarette, lighting a fire, putting on lip gloss. Then bring another character into the scene and have them interact.

2. The photo exercise: Look for a photo that reminds you of your story in some way. Write a scene about it in which there is CONFLICT. Could be internal conflict but actual interaction is better. (NOTE: Ooooh this gives me an excuse to look for moodboard stuff....)

3. The flow exercise: See your character in their flow, meaning doing an activity they love so much they lose themselves completely in it. Like playing music, a sport, cooking, painting, etc. Describe how they do it, how it makes them feel, make it really visceral. But again, move it toward a conflict. The example scenes I read my class were from Firelight by Sophie Jordan, where the main character a draki (part dragon, part human) sneaks out to fly, a thing she loves, but she gets caught. Also from Graffiti Girl by Kelly Parra where a girl experiments with graffiti art for the first time to bring her own art to the next level, but then she sneaks back into the house and her mom is pissed. And last but not least from Harmonic Feedback by Tara Kelly where a girl with Aspergers who has always played music on her own, meets two other people and starts to write a song with them and realizes the experience is so much better that she has to get past her own blocks about other people and form a band with them.

4. Draw your plot on a giant piece of paper. Whatever shape it forms, however it best suits you. Use lots of colors, collage if you want. (AGAIN: MOODBOARD POSSIBILITIES!) You can also list your conflicts, assign them a 1-10 rating for conflict and graph them to see how the book flows.

5. Those were admittedly all exercises that I learned from another teacher and modified a bit, but I also have my own. The Ballads exercise. Yep, like my characters in BALLADS OF SUBURBIA. Take the character you are struggling with and write their ballad. Let them put a song quote up top and the dive into their inner darkness, and let them write as it says in the BALLADS back cover copy, "heartbreakingly honest confessions of the moments that defined and shattered their young lives."

Those are my main tools, but as you can see most are character-based because I'm a really character-driven writer. Maybe #2 and #4 would help me, but #4 doesn't involve putting words on the page and #2, well, I could totally waste hours looking for that picture. So if you have good tips for when you are stuck discovering plot and scene, please let me know!

Women Who Rock Wednesday: Tara Kelly

2011-11-01T23:41:00.004-05:00

I'm taking a bit of a hiatus from Women Who Rock Wednesday while I get a new YA project going, but I had to invite Tara Kelly back to the blog to celebrate the release of her new book AMPLIFIED! Tara is one of my all-time favorite writers and I've been dying for this book since I finished HARMONIC FEEDBACK. She knows real teen characters just as well as she knows music and the result is incredible contemporary stories that music lovers like me will devour. I can't wait to crack my copy of AMPLIFIED this week and I think once Tara tells you about it, I think you will be running out to buy it, so let's meet her, shall we?

Q: Tell us about AMPLIFIED. What inspired you to write it?

TARA: Amplified is about a girl who is kicked out of her house because she decides to pursue music over college. She lies her way into a band (saying she has experience she doesn't have) and has a modest savings (for Santa Cruz standards) to live off of. Naturally things go wrong.

Funny story: Amplified was originally a paranormal about a ghost-hunting band. Jasmine was psychic and could see ghosts and..well, it didn't really work. I also realized I was far more in love with the story of the band than the 'main' ghost story. So, the Amplified that's out now was born. I've always wanted to write about a band, especially band practice. Some of the most intense/funny/liberating/crazy moments happen while you're stuck in a hot room together trying to coordinate a bunch of personalities into one song. Remember that old movie The Breakfast Club? What would happen if you gave those characters instruments and told them to write a song together? Chaos, fighting, and even some common ground? Probably.

The band in my book (C-Side) brings five very different people together. Sure, they all like industrial rock and music. But...they all have different ideas of what a song should sound like. They all have completely different personalities and ways that they approach writing and performing. And I have to say it's a hell of a lot of fun to write. I also wanted to focus on girls in music, especially girls who do more than sing. Not saying there is anything wrong with singing. I personally love it! But I'd just like to see more stories out there about girl guitarists, girl drummers, girl bassists--girl banjo players? That might be interesting.

For more info, go to my new book website: http://amplifiedthebook.com

Q: If AMPLIFIED had a soundtrack (and knowing you, it probably does!), what are five songs that would be on it and tell us how they relate to the story or characters.

TARA: Ha--actually I just did a post about that very thing here.

Q: I'm an enormous fan of your first book HARMONIC FEEDBACK and I know that AMPLIFIED is music-inspired, but I imagine that you'll be bringing something new to the table with AMPLIFIED because every book is different. Can you talk a bit about those differences and maybe even how your process for writing them differed if it did?

TARA: Well, as I said above Amplified was originally a paranormal, so a big difference right there. But when I decided to make Amplified about a band, I pretty much wrote an entirely new book.

Harmonic Feedback was more like a violin. Slower paced, rich with emotion, dark, intense, with a dash of quirk. Drea's unique view of the world really drove that story forward, making every day things a big deal. Just about every new experience was intense for Drea. Some of the scenes were tough to write because they would draw so much emotion out of me, but so worth it. I felt like that book made me become a better writer..it really tested me in many ways.

Amplified was more like an electric guitar. Faster, louder, and more light-hearted. After writing Harmonic (mind you I was watching a LOT of Gilmore Girls), I wanted to write another music-driven story, but I wanted the main focus to be on the band. And I wanted the story to have a lot of funny moments. This isn't to say Amplified doesn't have its dark or emotional parts--I can't write a book without some grit/emotion. But overall it's a fun book and it was fun to write--something far more likely to make you laugh than cry.

Q: You are a musician in addition to a writer, can you tell us about your music? Do your two creative processes feed each other or are they very separate?

TARA: I AM a musician, although I haven't had as much time for my music as I like. The day jobs and writing have to come first...which often times means I can't write songs as much as I used to (which breaks my heart, to be honest) If I could be a full time writer and musician? Ha...if only all of us could, right? My music tends to be all over the board in genre. I love writing guitar-heavy industrial stuff, trip-hop, synth-pop, and even some acoustic stuff. My main love is electronica, though. I also love to produce since I'm a perfectionist and all. My favorite instrument is most definitely the guitar--it's raw, can be kind of painful sometimes, packed with emotion and sass, and well..it releases me like no other instrument ever has.

My creative processes aren't generally separate. I need music to write and I need to write to make music. I often write songs from my character's POV. My lyrics come from them!

Q: Can you tell us a bit about what is up next for you?

TARA: Right now I'm working a psychological thriller that I'm super excited about. It's much different from my previous books and a little intimidating, but I'm also kind of obsessed with the characters right now and want any excuse to spend time with them. I consider that a good sign :)

Q: I have two standard questions for my Women Who Rock. The first is a two-parter: What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge.

TARA: Ha...you know I always say the first album I bought was Alice in Chains "Dirt", but I was thinking about this the other day. It might have been Bjork's Debut album. Either way, it was ONE of those :) The first concert I went to on my own (not my parents dragging me) was White Zombie and Babes in Toyland. And even today, that remains one of my favorite concerts of all time.

Q: Please dish about the moment where you felt most like a rock star. Maybe it was a moment of big success in your career, an "I'm Not Worthy!" Wayne's World type moment where you met someone cool, or a time where you just got the rock star treatment.

TARA: Last time I said Poe, but I've had a rockstar moment since then. Earlier this month Harmonic Feedback won the Oregon Spirit Book Award from the English Teacher's council. They invited me to the award ceremony where the organizer presented each book and talked about why it won an award or honor. When she got to mine, she talked about how much one of the character's reminded her of some of the kids she works with. How much it moved her, made her gasp at one point and made her cry. But mostly how true it rang to her. Then she went on to talk about a student who never did any of her work, but she read my book in two days. That's when it really hit me that my book is out there and its reaching the kids I wanted it to reach. Can I ask for a bigger rockstar moment?

No, you couldn't! That is really awesome! And the award was well-deserved.

Today's Contest:

Tara has a very special prize planned that is so appropriate for this book. She's giving away an iMix of her playlist for AMPLIFIED!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about AMPLIFIED
+5 for blogging about AMPLIFIED

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win.

Since this is a download, it is most definitely open internationally!

Since I'm going on blog hiatus, please be sure to leave an email address or way to contact you. I will be drawing the winner on November 16.

And speaking of contests....

Tara's agent is running a really awesome one. Buy and spread the word about AMPLIFIED and you could win a ton of cool prizes including a basket of books. It runs until November 7th and you should get on it here. Especially since I'm guessing you are already running out to get AMPLIFIED :)

What Life After Revisions Looks Like & Musings on New Projects and NaNo

2011-10-25T13:04:00.000-05:00

Sunday night, err technically Monday morning, around 1:30 am I sent in revisions to my new agent Adrienne Rosado. (Yes, in case you missed the Twitter announcement on the 7th. I have a lovely new agent. She is amazing and I already adore working with her. I'm sure I will talk more about this in the future.) These were hopefully the final revisions that I will have to do on The Bartender Book before it goes on submission to publishers. They were not massive revisions like my revisions back in May. They took only two weeks and were just minor tweaks of rearranging some information and scenes and then polishing my word choices, reading the manuscript aloud, etc. I will probably talk more about this later. Mostly I just wanted to show you what my office looks like after 2 weeks of revisions that happened to overlap with a very busy point in the semester for the YA fiction class I'm teaching (student conference time) and a bunch of freelance deadlines:

Not pictures are the piles of student work, but in the bottom right, you can see an explosion of junk from a box of my junior high and high school memorabilia that I went through to work on my latest piece for ROOKIE. And yeah in the bottom left, those are dirty dishes from Sunday's lunch. I know, ewww. But I was really focused on the book and nothing else at the point. It's lucky I ate, bringing dishes back downstairs was so not a priority. Oh and the pink thing is my Snuggie. It's freakin' cold in my office.

Now how about a close up on my desk:

The Synonym finder is open because of that final polishing stage. The two little notepads on top of it are the places where I randomly scrawled down words that seemed overused while I read the manuscript aloud. The notebook underneath contains my timeline and other notes for the Bartender Book. Also of note, the bag of cashews, which I almost had for dinner Sunday night, but my wonderful husband volunteered to go to Chipotle for me. To the right of the computer are the weekend's worth of mugs from the massive quantity of tea consumed and yeah, gross, I know, an empty soy yogurt container. Again, it's lucky I remember to eat. Above my computer is a calendar with deadlines, some of which I missed. It is my only way of remembering things I need to do when I am in the thick of a project and sometimes I still don't remember. If my computer was on, you might see an email inbox with hundreds of email that needs replying to or deleting. I did the deleting part Monday, but umm am slow on getting everything else in order.

You might notice that in the top right corner, behind some print cartridge boxes, I have a picture of myself on my desk. I know. That's weird. Let me explain. It's a picture of me all fake-smilely and professionally dressed from the office job I quit after I WANNA BE YOUR JOEY RAMONE came out. I scratched out the words assistant to the dean" and wrote "author, bartender, assistant to NO ONE" beneath it as motivation. I hated that job. I hated that I could even look like the real me there and it wasn't creative at all. I have the picture up to remind me that no matter how stressed I feel working the many different jobs I have to work to make ends meet (and ends still don't always meet), it is better than that.

So that is what is going to keep me going into the next project, which I am buzzing and ready to work on. It's going to take a lot of effort to actually catch up on my email and juggle the deadlines and other work I have this week because I don't want down time for writing. I love that book I just finished and I want to bring that to my next project.

What is that new project, you ask? I'm not entirely sure. I had three ideas that I've been pondering since June and now I think I've eliminated it down to two. There was one that I have been thinking on forever and have written a few partial drafts for different versions of it and I have all these muses for it and notes, endless plotting notes that I worked so hard on this summer, but before I went back to work on revising The Bartender Book, I was really struggling to actually *write* that story. Then I have this other idea that I just thought of earlier this year and I think I might be able to just let it spill out of me. I'm hesitant because it seems almost too easy and also because I feel like the other idea might be the better idea, the one with the bigger hook. However, if this one is easier to write, it might the one to do for NaNoWriMo.

That's right, I'm actually thinking of doing it this year. Not officially because well I will have already cheated because either project I pick will have roughly 25 pages already written on it. Also I'm afraid that if I put too much pressure on myself, I will set myself up to fail. That's just how I am. I generally don't write quickly and when I've had word count goals in the past, it has ended badly, but that said, I felt like I was in a bit of a slump this summer and now that the Bartender Book revisions and my new agent have me all motivated and excited, I want to keep my energy up, so I figure why not try it. Plus if all goes well I may be starting November in a new office. (That was my other reason behind showing you the messy office pictures, other than I like seeing that part of the writing process for people.)

My goal is not to write a whole novel in the month of November, but to write 50,000 words. It may be words on two different novels if I don't figure out what I'm working on by then. I may write a lot of those words in the last three days of the month while I'm on a writing retreat. I may just use it to kick me into gear and then forget about word count. We'll see.

What about you? Are you doing NaNoWriMo? If you've done it before, do you have any tips for me about sticking with it? Or maybe you have input on which project I should work on?

Last but not least, today is my friend, Tara Kelly's release day for AMPLIFIED! A book about a female musician which I am very excited to read because, dude, we need more of those.

So Happy book Birthday, Tara and AMPLIFIED!

GCC Presents: Kristina Springer!

2011-10-21T17:30:00.003-05:00

My Girlfriends Cyber Circuit sister, Kristina Springer has a new book out that sounds perfect for the season, especially if you love pumpkin patches as much as I do. Here are the details about the book and the lowdown from Kristina!

Jamie Edwards has loved everything about growing up on a pumpkin patch, but ever since her cousin Milan Woods arrived, things have really stunk. Jamie can’t imagine it was easy for Milan to leave her life back in Los Angeles and move to Average, Illinois, population one thousand. But it’s kind of hard to feel sorry for her since (a) Milan’s drop-dead gorgeous; (b) she’s the daughter of two of Hollywood’s hottest film stars; (c) she’s captured the attention of everyone in town, including Danny, Jamie’s crush since forever; and (d) she’s about to steal the title of Pumpkin Princess right out from underneath Jamie!

The Interview with Kristina!

Q: Please tell us what your new book is about and what inspired you to write it.

Kristina: I love pumpkin anything—candles, bread, you name it. I was staring at my pumpkin colored kitchen walls and the idea of a pumpkin patch setting popped into my mind. Then I thought what if you were a teen girl who grew up on an awesome touristy pumpkin patch. And I was off from there.

Q: If there was a soundtrack for your book what are five songs that would be on it and how do they relate the story?

Kristina:I can’t think of five songs but the one that came to mind when writing this was Bruno Mars, Just the Way You Are. It reminds me of the main character Jamie.

Q: Who were some of your inspirations to become a writer or the inspirations that keep you writing? Feel free to include other authors, teachers, parents, or people in other creative fields, whoever is an inspiration to you!

Kristina: The very first time I thought I was any good at writing was freshman year in college. I was a nursing major and the teaching assistant in my English class told me something I’d written was really good and that I should submit it somewhere. I switched majors shortly after that.

Q: Even though music plays in so heavily into my storytelling, I rarely can actually listen to it while I'm writing. Can you? How does music fit into your writing process?

Kristina:No, I need quiet. Although, if I’m writing at Starbucks the background music doesn’t bother me.

Q: What is next for you? What are you working on now?

Kristina: Right now my newest YA book, THE PAPARAZZI PROJECT, is on submission. This was a super fun book to write and I think any tabloid loving teen will love it.

Women Who Rock Wednesday: Pettybone!

2011-09-28T02:23:00.000-05:00

I know I already have 3 contests running through the end of the week (and you can get all those details here) and that I said I was gonna take a bit of a blog hiatus (and I still might next month to get myself organized and on track), but I won't ever stop bringing you women who rock when I find them. I just might not do it as frequently until I get a bit more time. (It's crazy how much time it actually *does* take to find cool gals, beg them for an interview, write the interview q's, prep the blog post, pick a winner, etc.) But I had to bring you the amazing band Pettybone. Yep, that's right. A BAND! I know I've been doing a lot of authors lately because those are the women I know, but you know I think women who play rock n' roll are goddesses and Pettybone is so freakin' energizing and inspiring that I had to share them with you. I mean their new album "From Desperate Times Comes Radical Minds" has been described as having "a sound that grabs hold of you and draws you right in by the guts. With combining influences stemming from DC punk, blues, 80s & 90s hardcore and Riot Grrl, their mix is eclectic and the songs passionate."

‘Bands this exciting come along once every blue moon’– Terrorizer July 2011

'At their tamest they sound like the ever-volatile Gallows, but often careen into even darker, heavier & faster territory' – Kerrang 2011

'These lasses are the ones to watch' - Metal Hammer 2011

So, shall we meet them?

I caught up with bassist Lianna right after their tour and here's what we talked about.

Q: When did you start playing music? What inspired you? A certain musician, family member, teacher or friend? Who are some of your biggest musical influences (especially the women since it's Women Who Rock Wednesday, but men too!)?

Lianna: I started playing music when I was first school so around about 8 (I played clarinet) However I didn't want to play the clarinet I wanted to play the guitar but our music tutor thought I would be 'more suited' to the clarinet. Hopwever as soon as I hit high school I saved every penny I could until I could get my first electric guitar... and I have never looked back since, although I am a bass player now ;) For me, the music, that changed. I always wanted to play guitar because I saw these bands live, David Bowie, etc., and I thought wow! I want to do that. It was always very male oriented. Then I was given the record Bikini Kill – "Pussy Whipped." I had been listening to punk / Rock music for a while but I was looking for this to vent about the way I felt being a female who was into the alternative culture and mind set. I was just smoovered with boy laden alpha-male hardcore… Then an ex BF of mine gave me this record and it completely changed my life. The aggression they had, the realness and something I could completely relate to. Everything fell into place from there. The lyrics… I had finally found someone who was speaking my language. For me I think Bikini Kill are one of my main / biggest influences.

Q: Tell us about Pettybone. Who plays what? When and how did you all come together? And how did you come up with that fabulous name?

Lianna: Amy - Vox, Ivona - Guitar, Zel - Drums and myself Lianna I play bass. We had all played in other bands in the UK & Ivona had see us came with this idea for a band... She contacted us all and it all went from there really... The name Pettybone came from Ivona after reading the bible of the punk rock, Get in the Van with Black Flag and Pettibon’s images really struck her because they are shocking and provocative. Ivona changed Pettibon to Pettybone to differentiate from the artist and it gives it a much more femine twist ;)

Q: You have a new album out, FROM DESPERATE TIMES COMES RADICAL MINDS? Please share a link of where we can buy it and the best place to hear your music. How would you describe your sound? Are there one or two tracks on there that are your favorites (tough choice, I know! Even for me as a listener) or that you think stand out as definitive Pettybone songs? Tell us about them.

Lianna: www.myspace.com/thesoundoftherevolt to hear some tracks & the best place to buy it is http://www.damagedonerecords.com/

I would always describe our sound as 'The Sound Of The Revolt' You can take what you want from that really and interpret it in anyway you would like... Leaves less boundaries on what our music sounds like.

Two fave tracks? Hard one! A lot of our songs are pretty different. A really like a few of the new songs were working on at the moment but from the album I like best C.O.W which nearly never got recorded… It was a very last minuet decision to put it on there… The name was inspired by Lydia Lunch's spoken world performance. A bit of agitation song ;) that urges women to come together and create culture and space for themselves rather than trying to fit into the male dominated world/culture. Conspiracy of Women starts where the Riot Grrrls left off. It's also Ivona's blog. Bass playing wise for me, it’s Breaking Away… It has some serious groove and I think it establishes my kind of style of bass playing. Also Northern Line I like the contrast of very soft pixie-like then very heavy build up. But its hard to pick two! I like all of our songs… another very notable song is Pettybone as it’s our manifesto.

Q: What was the recording process for your album like?

Lianna: It went amazingly well. We recorded an album in pretty much 2 days… Pretty insane. And it sounds amazing! We just went in and nailed all the parts in this manic storm, then left... We had Sam Thredder of Cros Nest record us in the UK and Kurt Ballou of God City mix us and record a “secret track” in Boston ;) We are all so happy with the outcome and we can’t wait for everyone to hear it.

Q: Are you touring at all? If so, share dates. What do you like most about playing live?

Lianna: We have just got off the back of a Euro tour today which was pretty insane! We are just about to announce some other dates in the UK at the end of November with Retox & a few other special shows... So keep your eyes peeled to our sites. We will hopefully be hitting stateside March time, so watch out. You can never get any feeling like the feeling when you play live... it's just an intense way to let out all your feelings.

Q: I have two standard questions for my Women Who Rock. The first is a two-parter: What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge.

Lianna: The first album I bought? I remember the single - It was Mr Blobby - The Blobby song. HAHA However with album I just used to knick them off my mum & family. The first concert I attended, a big one? I went to loads of pub gigs with my mum however we lived quite near wemberly arena so I think my first big one was boyzone... :s HAHAHA

Q: Please dish about the moment where you felt most like a rock star. Maybe it was a moment of big success in your career, an "I'm Not Worthy!" Wayne's World type moment where you met someone cool, or a time where you just got the rock star treatment.

Lianna: Rock star treatment? Well I guess on the euro tour we had this guy waiting for us in Budapest who had a picture of us to sign and knew all our names... I was like woah!

Today's Contest:

After hearing more about it, I'm guessing you want to hear Pettybone and you are in luck! Lianna is offering up a free download of one track!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about Pettybone
+5 for blogging about Pettybone

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win.

Since this is a download, it is most definitely open internationally!

Since I'm going on blog hiatus, please be sure to leave an email address or way to contact you. I will be drawing the winner on October 12.

Dudes, there are CONTESTS!

2011-09-26T00:41:00.002-05:00

Holy crap guys, I am running three, that is right THREE contests this week. Two were set to end on the 28th and one on the 30th, but I have decided that's a bit silly isn't, so how about they all run through Friday the 30th. Soooooo PLEASE ENTER!

Here they are:

Contest #1: Spread the word about ROOKIE and DEAR BULLY and you could win a boatload of stuff! Signed copies of I WANNA BE YOUR JOEY RAMONE, BALLADS, and DEAR BULLY (well that one will only be signed by me, sorry I can't get the more exciting authors, but you will at least get to read their essays!) PLUS copies of my zines PLUS the lovely Karen Mahoney is giving up a signed copy of THE IRON WITCH. Yeah, that is a lot of prizes. Find out the details and enter here.

Contest #2: Win Patricia Ann McNair's TEMPLE OF AIR. This book rocks. Patty rocks. She was one of my best professors. She is super cool. Learn about it and win it here.

Contest #3 Win the ENTHRALLED anthology. Jeri Smith-Ready is putting this up for grabs and you can learn about it here and read an interview with Logan Keeley as it is his story that Jeri tells in ENTHRALLED.

I'm actually kinda sorta bummed that the entries are so low in these contests. (Well, except for the ENTHRALLED contest. You guys are very excited about that one.) But that means everyone who enters has a really good chance to win, so pretty please enter?

I'm pondering taking a blog and contest hiatus because it seems none of my contests and blog posts have gotten as many comments as usual lately. Maybe it's just an end of summer/beginning of school thing and much like traffic at the bar where I work is down, so is blog traffic? Though, I think this is partially my fault because I took that blog hiatus around this time last year and maybe it never recovered. Or I'm boring cause I haven't had a book out in a while (sorry, working on that!) or I'm too terribly long-winded (again, apologies, can't help that). So maybe that means it would be really dumb to take another hiatus, but the fact is that I'm spread INSANELY thin right now between teaching, writing for ROOKIE, writing fiction, bartending, group blogging, and maybe sometimes occasionally wanting to spend time with my loved ones so something has to give and since it doesn't seem like there is much interest on this blog anymore it might be this. But I dunno. I've said this before and I've always come back because this is my outlet.... However, I think ROOKIE is becoming more and more outlet for memory/essay/dish on my teen self type things. And I wonder if the whole interview/contest thing is done too many other places so that is why there is less interest. So that leaves me with writing life type stuff which I may keep blogging about here, but that too seems to be covered in a lot of other places maybe better than I can do. Then I've got my muses and inspirations, music I love etc, but that might be better suited for my new tumblr....

So yeah, I'm just not sure. This blog might have to take a backseat for a bit again for better or for worse. I'm sure I'll have the overwhelming urge to babble about something so it's not like it will completely disappear. Then once my life feels a bit less chaotic hopefully I can figure out what its purpose should be and give it a better direction that will interest you all again. As usual if you have insights, please do share. And then just please, enter those contests. I'd rather go on hiatus with bang rather than a whimper. And I just want to see if you still do like contests!

Because you know I had to do it... My Tribute to Nevermind

2011-09-23T05:32:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow marks the 20th anniversary of the release of Nirvana’s Nevermind album. It’s making me quite nostalgic (though who are we kidding, nostalgia could be my middle name) and it’s also making feel a little bit old. (20 years, really? TWENTY years?) Those of you who read my blog regularly know that Nirvana is my favorite band. In fact, seeing as I have the super deluxe 4 disc edition of Nevermind on pre-order as well as the 4-LP vinyl version, you might even call me an obsessed superfan. What can I say? Nirvana had the single biggest influence on my life besides my mom. And that’s why I have to pay tribute to Nevermind, too. I know that all of the big music magazines and that TV channel that actually played music videos twenty years ago have already covered it pretty well. They’ve divulged any long-lost photos, videos, and trivia factoids related to Nevermind and had a lot of people who are way more famous and important than me talk about how it changed the face of rock ‘n’ roll, shaped an entire generation, etc. I’m no music critic, historian or musician, so I want to take a different perspective and talk about how Nevermind and Nirvana in general changed a twelve year-old girl from Oak Park, Illinois, and went on to shape her life.

I didn’t buy Nevermind the first day it came out. I actually heard Nirvana’s first album, Bleach, first. Not because I was the coolest twelve year-old ever… I just happened to be friends with a really cool twelve year-old. My friend Kendra watched a lot of MTV. She introduced me to the glories of MTV when we met during the summer between fourth and fifth grade while our brothers were playing on the same tee-ball team. We’d watch their ballgame for a while and then go down the block to her house and turn on the TV. Between all the fabulous movies I saw on HBO and all the bands I discovered on MTV that summer, I bugged my parents until they finally broke down and got cable. Still, unlike Kendra, it was rare that I got to stay up late and watch 120 Minutes. She also just seemed to know about stuff first. That’s why she was the cool friend.

I was in her room one day when she told me she’d heard about this band Nirvana and they were supposed to have a new album out, but all she could find was this other album. I’m not the best at remembering exact time periods from before high school (I really don’t know why my memory from before the age of fourteen is so hazy), so I’m not sure if this was actually before Nevermind came out hence she could only find Bleach or if Nevermind was out, but our record store, like many in the country, didn’t have it because DGC hadn’t expected it to launch into the stratosphere and had only made so many copies. All I know is that Kendra seemed a bit uncertain about the band she was about to play for me, but she put on side B of the Bleach cassette, I heard “Negative Creep” for the first time and my mind was totally fucking blown. I describe that experience in more detail in an essay I wrote after another anniversary—the ten-year anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s suicide. You can read that here if you wish.

Kendra wasn’t as impressed as I was with Nirvana. As I recall, she much preferred the Living Colour tape she’d just gotten, but I adored that Nirvana tape. I got my own as soon as I could. I also started seeing the music video for “Smells Like Teen Spirit” shortly thereafter. I can’t remember my first viewing of it because I’d already had my mind blown by the band, so I wasn’t shocked out of my skull by that killer riff or anything. The thing that really caught my eye was the foot tapping along to the killer riff at beginning of the video. That foot was encased in a black hightop Converse sneaker. I was delighted by this because I also wore black Converse hightops, but since the footwear of choice among girls at my junior high was those little white (and, in my opinion, extremely boring) Keds, I got mocked constantly for wearing them. You see 1991 would have been Converse salesman Chuck Taylor’s 90th birthday, so there was an ad campaign with the slogan, “Happy Birthday, Chuck!” which is what douchey popular crowd at school would scream at me every time we passed in the hall. I’m not sure why it was supposed to be an insult, but the laughter that always followed made it clear that it was. So seeing *my* shoe in the Nirvana video made me feel less alone. I watched the audience in the video more than the band. I picked out a girl who had her head shaved except for her bangs and hoped that one day, maybe when I got to high school, I’d find people like her. Wearing Converse and clothes I liked as opposed to what was considered normal was a new thing for me and Nirvana gave me the strength to continue expressing myself.

Since I was a broke-ass twelve year-old, I didn’t actually buy Nevermind until after their Saturday Night Live appearance in January of 1992. My best friend Juliet and I were housesitting for her former kindergarten teacher, who was a close friend of Juliet’s grandmother. It seems astounding that we got permission to spend the night alone in a house, but I guess at that age our idea of living on the edge was eating a lot of sugar and staying up all night, so it was okay. Also we’d recently gotten news that earth-shattering news: Juliet’s grandmother had been diagnosed with lung cancer and soon would no longer be able to care for Juliet, so over she was going to be sent to live with her aunt in Rockford before eighth grade started. I’d known Juliet since I’d moved to Oak Park in third grade. We’d spent much of elementary school trying and failing to fit in with those Keds-sneaker-wearing popular girls, but somehow they innately sensed that we weren’t cool enough. We’d given up toward the end of sixth grade and embraced our inner weirdo—literally, we even started the “weirdo religion.” We dressed how we wanted and spent hours watching Star Trek: The Next Generation and not caring if it was cool. We were constantly at each other’s houses. Juliet was like my sister and her grandmother was like my grandmother. It was bad enough that when we got to junior high, we were put on two different “teams” meaning our classes would never overlap, but for Juliet to move nearly two hours away meaning that we couldn’t watch Star Trek together every night…. It was the end of the world for us and Juliet’s grandmother and my mom knew it, so we were granted permission to stay the weekend alone in this house that reeked of the kindergarten teacher’s husband’s cologne. I swear someone must have spilled it down the heating ducts because it was so strong that twenty years later I still gag when I catch a whiff of Old Spice.

If we’d been given free reign of an empty house for a weekend two years after this, there would have boys and drugs involved for sure, but we simply popped some microwave popcorn (which briefly covered up the Old Spice stink) and settled in to watch SNL. Kurt Cobain had dyed his hair with KoolAid so it looked reddish-pink, which was pretty cool, and they played “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” which I liked but had heard a few too many times. And then they came back the second time and Krist Novoselic, their giant of a bass player, howled the opening of this old hippie song that I’d heard via my parents and my own obsession with the Billboard sixties collections before the band burned their way through “Territorial Pissings,” a song I immediately loved as much as everything off of Bleach. When they finished, they smashed up their instruments and the Saturday Night Live stage. I watched, my mouth hanging open. Nothing had ever expressed what I felt on the inside more than that moment. But then as I turned to Juliet to tell her how fucking awesome I thought that was, she spat in disgust, “What are they doing? That’s so stupid! Why are they breaking everything? All that stuff is probably really expensive.”

And it probably was. And it was a little wasteful and dumb in that regard, but clearly they did it because they had some pent-up rage and we had some pent-up rage and I wasn’t sure why Juliet didn’t get that. I didn’t like disagreeing with her though. Ever since finding out she was moving, Juliet had been getting especially upset about it when I disagreed with her or did things like choosing stage crew over gymnastics ever and I got why: we were changing and once there was physical distance between us, we might completely grow apart, which was completely fucking terrifying.

So I bought Nevermind secretly. On cassette tape because I didn’t have a CD player yet. I listened to it on my Walkman obsessively throughout the following summer and eighth grade whenever I was feeling alienated or stupid and contagious or whatever. In Rockford, Juliet discovered that other Seattle band, Pearl Jam and I forced myself to like them too, but deep down though I thought Eddie Vedder was cute, I didn’t like his voice at all and the music behind him didn’t impress me at all. But Nirvana, something about those angry riffs reflected me perfectly and Kurt Cobain’s lyrics which I figured out in pieces spoke directly to my heart.

“It amazes me, the will of instinct,” he sang on “Polly” and I repeated to myself every time I felt trapped or beaten down by my nasty junior high world.

“Love myself better than you,” he sang on “On A Plain” and I was trying, oh god was I trying. To love myself, to be myself, to be as brave as that scrawny, scruffy blond guy who danced around in a dress in my favorite Nevermind video, “In Bloom.” No doubt, he’d taken a lot of shit in junior high and I could, too.

I finally got a new stereo with a CD player for 8th grade graduation, and in addition to albums by Fishbone and a Metallica, Nevermind rounded out my very first CD purchase. My Nevermind tape had completely worn out. Nirvana was officially my favorite band as I started high school, but I was almost resentful of the way “grunge” and “alternative” had exploded because suddenly the same people who’d made fun of my Converse sneakers and thrift store clothing were wearing them (though usually their clothes just had at thrift-store look, but came from the mall). I continued to dig deeper into the indie and punk scenes, discovering bands like Dinosaur Jr, Sonic Youth, and Bikini Kill because Nirvana mentioned them in interviews. I did buy In Utero on the very day it was released and I begged my parents for permission to see Nirvana on their 1993 tour at the Aragon in Chicago, but they didn’t want me going out on a school night. “You can see them next time,” they promised me and since it was rumored that they’d be headline Lollapalooza in the summer, I took comfort in that. Of course as it turned out, I would never see my favorite band live.

I’m teaching a Young Adult Fiction class at Columbia College Chicago this fall. I took the class myself at the age of twenty-two as a student there and since it was such a great class I’ve been using a lot of my former teacher’s activities. In one of these, I asked my students to write a piece about the moment that knew they were no longer a child. I’d written this myself and chose to write about the time someone shot heroin in front of me for the first time. That was definitely a big moment, but looking back I think I went to it because it was dramatic and it was not something that would brand me as a geeky fangirl. But if I’m being honest, the moment that I was no longer a child came on Friday, April 8, 1994, during the spring of my freshman year of high school when at fourteen years-old, I found out that the man I’d come to believe understood me better than my parents and most of my friends had committed suicide.

Juliet broke the news to me in a very mocking, condescending way. They were the band that I liked and she didn’t. We had grown apart the way we both secretly feared. Also her grandmother had died almost exactly a year before then so she viewed this successful rock star who’d blown his brains out in a different light than I did. I get it now, but at the time it was devastating. Not only had this man I looked up to thrown in the towel, the girl who’d defined and made my childhood bearable was someone different now and so was I. Once again I looked at Nirvana’s audience, at the throngs of mourners who gathered in the fountain at the Seattle Center and at Viretta Park to pay tribute. I needed to find my people, my “little group” that Kurt sings about in “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (or “little tribe” as he sometimes sings live, a phrase which I like even better.) So even though I was naturally shy and had always had a really hard time making friends, I screwed up my courage and went looking. That’s how I found the boy who would shoot heroin in front of me. That’s how I found the group of friends (and sometimes frenemies) at Scoville Park that would shape the rest of my teenage years. That’s how I found the boyfriend who emulated Kurt Cobain in many ways, but not in his respect for women, the boyfriend who emotionally abused me and broke me into a million little pieces. The next three years of high school were often hellish, but I did find the people who would become lifelong friends that know me better than anyone else, even myself sometimes. I could (and have and will probably continue to for Rookie!) write several essays/blogs about the ways I fucked up during those years, but I don’t regret any of it because it brought me to the place where I discovered the stories I needed to tell and once again, Nirvana was there to give me the strength to tell them.

Ten years after Kurt Cobain’s death, I went to Seattle. Again, my journey is detailed here, but it took me a few more years to figure out why I needed that journey so badly. I went off the rails after that abusive relationship. I threw myself into drugs, then in to booze and along with it a codependent unhealthy relationship that last from the end of high school into my early twenties. Then I started listening to Nirvana again. Obsessively. This is when all the vinyl and bootleg collecting started. I listened to those songs hundreds and thousands of time and I slowly rebuilt myself.

“It amazes me the will of instinct.” The instinct to break the cycle, to write instead of cut or get drunk.

“Love myself better than you.” I finally did. In Viretta Park, the place I wanted to be at fourteen, but didn’t find my way to until twenty-four. But there I was, able to make sense of my past, to take it all in, to love myself, to survive. Kurt may not have had the strength to do so himself, but I found it in his music. And that to me is what makes Nirvana and Nevermind so great.

Guys Rock Too Thursday!: Logan Keeley (from Jeri Smith-Ready's SHADE trilogy)

2011-09-22T09:45:00.004-05:00

Welcome to a very special Guys Rock Too Thursday. Today is a highlight for me because I got to interview Logan Keeley, who you may know from Jeri Smith-Ready's SHADE trilogy. In the new anthology ENTHRALLED, Logan got the chance to tell a story from his side, which I've had the privilege to read before release (I've read an early draft of SHINE too and it is AWESOME!!!!) and I know all SHADE fans, especially the folks who are Team Logan like me, will love. Since I've talked to Aura in the past, I thought I should bring Logan to the blog to celebrate the release of his story.

Q: Please tell us what your story is about and what inspired you to write it.

LOGAN: HEY! Thanks for having me. You have a very, VERY cool blog.

Inspiration? I was dying for the chance to tell my story. See, the SHADE novels are told from Aura’s point-of-view. Since I really hurt Aura by, you know, DYING, I worry sometimes that I don’t come off so hot. And this part of my life—making up with my brother Mickey—was super important to me. There was no way I’d ever be able to pass on if we didn’t forgive each other. I mean, it was my fault he felt so shitty about himself.

Anyway, I am SO excited for the release of “Bridge” in ENTHRALLED. No offense to the Woman Upstairs (that’s what me and Zach call Jeri), but some of those other authors in the anthology are HUGE, and my story’ll probably get read by more people than have read SHADE. So if people go ahead and read SHADE afterwards, they’ll already understand what I’m going through and hopefully won’t hate me.

Q: If there was a soundtrack for your story, what are five songs that would be on it and how do they relate the story?

LOGAN: I made a playlist for Aura called “Sucks to Be a Ghost (Sometimes).” It pretty much sums up a lot of my feelings about dying and losing her and feeling ignored by the world. Some of my favorites are “Thistle and Weeds” by Mumford & Sons (actually, their entire album SIGH NO MORE helped inspire the story—“The Cave”* and “Little Lion Man” make me think of Mickey), “Ready to Fall” by Rise Against, and “Movin’ On” by The Tossers.

Also, the Woman Upstairs transcribed the lyrics to “Forever,” the song I wrote for Aura right before I died. You can read them here.

Sharing that song was like peeling open my rib cage and showing all my internal organs. And it made a lot of people cry, which…well, I guess I’m better at MAKING people cry than I am at dealing with the aftermath.

*Speaking of “The Cave,” these lines just kill me when it comes to me and my brother:

I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again.

Q: Who were some of your inspirations to become a songwriter or the inspirations that keep you writing? Feel free to include other authors, teachers, parents, or people in other creative fields, whoever is an inspiration to you!

LOGAN: I’ve always been a HUGE fan of Shane McGowan of the Pogues, and of course Dave King and all of Flogging Molly. But day to day, my biggest inspirations are the people I love, Aura and my family and friends. They’re what I write ABOUT and what I write FOR.

I also get inspired by sports stars—how hard they have to work to get where they are, and how they get criticized constantly. Like, they can be the hero one week and everyone worships them, and then the next week people say they should be fired. I dunno if I could handle that much pressure without totally cracking.

At least musicians, once they hit it big, hardly ever get booed by their fans unless they show up so wasted they can’t play. So even if your music starts to suck, you just play your old stuff and people are happy. To your face, at least.

Q: Even though music plays in so heavily into my storytelling, I rarely can actually listen to it while I'm writing. Can you? How does music fit into your writing process?

LOGAN: No, I need to hear my own music in my mind. Certain bands are more ear-wormy than others. Like Flogging Molly, they take FOREVER to get out of my head, and they used to keep me up at night. Listening (or rehearsing) “Devil’s Dance Floor” after 6pm was like drinking Red Bull as a bedtime snack.

Q: What is next for you? What are you working on now?

LOGAN: Hmm, I can’t tell you much without totally spoiling SHINE (or the end of SHIFT, for that matter), but right now I’m just hanging out on Twitter with my peeps. They are so amazing—they check in every day to see how I’m doing, and they ask my advice about guys. Some of them—okay, pretty much all of them—flirt with me, which is cool. I miss that kinda attention from my days with the band. Doesn’t mean I don’t still love Aura with one hundred percent of me.

Twitter’s also given me the chance to sorta bury the hatchet with my rival, Zachary Moore. It turns out he’s pretty cool. Most of the time.

Q: I have two questions that I always ask my Women and Guys Who Rock, the first is a two-parter. What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge, we like to see the roots of our folks who rock!

LOGAN: I gotta be honest, because ghosts can’t lie! The first album I bought was EVE 6 by EVE 6. Okay, technically my mom bought it for me because I was a little kid. But I begged for it because I loved that song, “Inside Out.” I thought the part about a heart in a blender was so funny. IRONIC, NO?

(I died of ventricular fibrillation, for your readers who don’t know me. Although actually I died of stupidity.)

My first concert was Rancid. Holy CRAP, were they amazing! I’ve seen them so many times I’ve lost count. Eight, I think. Yeah, since I can’t lie, that must be right.

Q: Tell us about your biggest rock star moment, perhaps it's a moment of real success in your career, a time when you met someone super cool and had that Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" moment, or just a time where you felt like you got the rock star treatment. I get a huge variety of answers for the questions, so it's pretty much whatever "rock star moment" means to you!

LOGAN: Probably the time this little dude, maybe seven years old, recognized me in the skate shop. He was like, NO FUCKING WAY, THAT’S LOGAN KEELEY FROM THE KEELEY BROTHERS! And his mom got all mad at me, like it was my fault he screamed the word FUCK at the top of his lungs. Though I did laugh, so she probably thought I was encouraging him. But it’s freaking hilarious and cute when little kids cuss, right? She wouldn’t even let him get my autograph. It was a SKATE SHOP, for God’s sake, not a church.

Thanks for visiting us today, Logan! That was quite a fun interview and I'm sure my readers really want to get to know you now, which brings us to....

TODAY'S CONTEST

<---The Woman Upstairs (A.K.A. Jeri Smith-Ready) is giving away a copy of ENTHRALLED.

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about ENTHRALLED
+5 for blogging about ENTHRALLED

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win.

Please note that due to shipping expenses this prize can ONLY be shipped to US addresses.

I will be drawing the winner on September 28 during my next Women Who Rock Wednesday interview!

GCC Presents: The Lowdown on DEAR BULLY

2011-09-15T05:49:00.000-05:00

Usually when one of my girlfriends from the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit tours, we do an interview, but since Megan Kelley Hall is touring to get the word out about an anthology with tons of contributors, she just gave me the ultimate lowdown on DEAR BULLY. As you know, I contributed to this anthology and am super proud of it. So proud in fact that I'm running a big contest to spread the word about here. Tweeting about/linking to this blog post will get an entry a piece for that contest and reposting this info on your blog will get you five entries. So read on, then spread the word and enter the contest!

THOUGHTS ON DEAR BULLY

WHY THEY DID IT
Megan Kelley Hall and Carrie Jones formed the group YAAAB (Young Adult Authors Against Bullying) in April 2010 when they both coincidentally blogged about the Phoebe Prince case on the same day. Megan reached out to Carrie expressing her frustration with this case and the fact that bullying that seemed to be growing at a ridiculously fast rate. As a Massachusetts resident and having already spoken about bullying in schools, Megan was horrified after hearing about the bullying that took place in the Phoebe Prince case. While writing her books, SISTERS OF MISERY and THE LOST SISTER, she had to dig deep to make “mean girls as evil as she possibly could. When she heard about all the bullying and bullycide stories in the news, she felt like the bullies had jumped off the pages of her book and into real life. She was also disheartened by the numerous times she’d done book signings and would say to readers, “I hope you never meet girls as mean as the ones in my book.” Shockingly, they almost always said, “We already have.” Carrie Jones was also moved to do something, as she was the target of bullying as a young child due to a speech impediment. Together, they felt that they owed it to teen readers to discourage bullying -- to make it "uncool." Megan Kelley Hall started by creating a Facebook page that kicked off an entire "movement" to end bullying. This was the day that Megan, Carrie and other authors decided to use their platform as Young Adult authors to actually facilitate change and to be a voice for those kids who cannot speak out or are too afraid to be heard.

HOW IT HAPPENED
Right away, a large number of authors jumped on board of this cause -- wanting to be involved in any way possible. The Facebook group jumped from 5 to 1500 members in one weekend and is now closing in on nearly 5,000 members. Carrie and Megan were thrilled when HarperTeen offered to put all of the stories into an anthology. The thought of having 70 authors – well-known, highly successful writers – sharing their personal bullying stories with their fans was something beyond what they had ever hoped for.

The stories in DEAR BULLY come from all angles: from the point of view of the victim, the mother, the friend, the sibling, the classmate – even a few from the actual bully. Some of the stories are light-hearted, while others are raw and emotional. All of them drive home the point that bullying is something that almost everyone has experienced. And while that is a sad fact, they want to prove that it's not a rite of passage. It doesn't make you stronger, wiser, or better. But it is something that can be overcome, something that can be changed, something that is relatable, and something that one should never be ashamed of. Through these stories, the authors want to show that they understand what teens are going through today. It is important to encourage bystanders to speak up and make bullying unacceptable. Parents and adults must get involved. Bullying is something that people no longer have to endure--at least, not by themselves.

Though quite a lofty mission, the goal of DEAR BULLY is to help just one person get through a difficult time, and hopefully make bullying a thing of the past.

Don't forget to join the Facebook page at www.facebook.com/dearbully, visit the website at www.dearbully.com, or follow DEAR BULLY on Twitter at www.twitter.com/dearbully.

IN THE NEWS:
“FIGHT BACK WITH WORDS. Better Homes & Gardens recommends DEAR BULLY: Remind youngsters heading back to school that getting picked on is tough—but that words can also heal as much as they can hurt, as one anthology proves.” – Better Homes & Gardens

“This anthology of personal essays provides empathetic and heartfelt stories from each corner of the schoolyard: the bullied, the bystander and the bully himself are all represented. Their words will be a welcome palliative or a wise pre-emptive defense against the trials of adolescent social dynamics.” --New York Times

“Two of them, both authors of novels for young adults (Megan Kelley Hall and Carrie Jones), have drawn on the power of the written word to focus attention on the problem and offer solace to the bullied.” – --The Boston Globe

“You’ll love it if… You know someone (or are someone) who’s ever been involved in any type of bullying incident. There’s something in it for everyone, on all sides of the spectrum. You’ll love it even more if you can find a story that inspires you to help someone else.” – Seventeen.com

“With authority often turning a blind eye and cyber-bullying rampant, this timely collection is an excellent resource, especially for group discussion, and the appended, annotated list of websites and further reading extends its usefulness.” – Booklist

“Powerful…All of these stories feel authentic and honest, and readers will find a story or a person to identify with, to look to for comfort or guidance.” School Library Journal

“Bottom line is this anthology is a terrific tool for the counselor who can customize the entries to the needs of the victimized student.” -- Harriet Klausner

ON BLOGS
“This should be required reading of ALL young girls (not to mention some adults)….Dear Bully is for everyone who has grown up in this culture where bullying takes place every day, not just in the schools, but in our streets, in our homes, our place of work (and globally).Dear Bully unveils the truth of who we are as a community of people, and it's not pretty.” – New Pages Blog

“This is why I think this book is brilliant: Much like It Get's Better, this is a situation where one generation is reaching back to support the other... When you share your story you are shining a light. You never know who is at sea and relying on that light to get them home.” – Miss New York, Kaitlin Monte “Life Under the Crown” blog

“Dear Bully is a novel that needs to be on the shelves of every school library, and in every classroom. I hope it makes its way to the hands of the bullied and the bullies.” –The Crazy Bookworm Blog

“You Can't Protect Your Kid From Bullies Until You've Done This I was about halfway through Dear Bully, a new book of essays from 70 big name teen lit authors (for my fellow YA fans, I'm talking the likes of Megan McCafferty, Alyson Noel, R.L. Stine, etc.) when it hit me. These were all grown-ups talking about some of the worst days of childhood. And almost none had kind words to say about adults.” – Jeanne Sagar, The Stir and Yahoo Shine

“70 poignant essays that will make your tear and/or cheer. There is literally something in this book for everyone. I cried, I laughed, I wanted to write a letter to my Congressman, but most of all…I learned a few things. Bullying doesn’t take one form and it can occur at any age. This is must have for every library, teacher, and anyone who owns a shelf…or a table. Be a hero and buy this book for someone who is struggling.” –I Read Banned Books Blog

“I wish there had been a Dear Bully book 14 years ago.” --Lost in the Library Blog

“I personally think that this book should be required reading for all kids in the 7th grade. I’d even be so bold as to say a compilation for younger kids should be written as well.” --Confessions of a Real Librarian Blog

GOODREADS REVIEWS
“This collection is so important and it couldn't come at a better time. This book should be in every administrator's office (their predecessor's failing to address this issue is a common thread woven through the experiences shaed), every media specialist's office, every counselor's office, and in the classroom libraries of every teacher works with these students who stories have not been told. . .yet. Here is the catalyst for discussion. Here are the authors saying, "It happened to me too. . .tell me your story." --Paul Hankins

“EVERY ADULT who works with tweens and teens should read this!” - Sandy

“Once I get the library's budget, this is going to be top of the list - and I'm buying two copies. I want to have one copy on the professional shelf for the teachers to look at and one on the shelf for the students to take out.” - Sarah

“This is a valuable look at how bullying shapes the lives of both the bullies and the bullied.” - Sarah

“Absolutely fantastic. Heart-wrenching and a reality check for anyone believing that this doesn't happen. I'm recommending this to every librarian I know to put this on the shelf.” - Maya

“What a beautiful, amazing, honest, important book. Five stars isn't near enough to show my love for Dear Bully. I'll be donating my copy to my old junior high.” - Colleen

“I knew I would enjoy this book, I just didn't think it would impact me as much as it did. I wish this could be in every middle and high school in the country.” - Stephanie

“I wish I could individually hug everyone who has ever been bullied. Seeing as how that mission is too tragically expansive to take on, I will settle for shouting, "Bravo!" to all the authors to contributed, and to HarperTeen for publishing this anthology. "Encore!" – Gabrielle Carolina

“Amazing anthology of stories about bullying (victimization, perpetration, being a bystander). I mean, what can I say? This collection moved me beyond words. Teachers, parents, and librarians NEED to share this book with their teens. Core title for all teen/ya collections.” - Lalitha

“It's another stark reminder that kids can't do this on their own. They need our help. Thank you to all 70 of these authors and Megan and Carrie for helping me not only set to rest my own past but to chart a path for my future as a mother.” – Jeanne Sagar, Goodreads

“These writers have taken a stand. It's time for all of us to do so as well.” - Jackie

Women Who Rock Wednesday: Patricia Ann McNair

2011-09-14T02:46:00.001-05:00

Hey guys, I know it has been quiet on the blog lately, but that's because I've been so busy with ROOKIE! I hope you all are loving it as much as I do and don't forget that there is a contest surrounding it and DEAR BULLY which runs until the end of the month. It's really (sadly!) low on entries, so check it out because you have a good chance to win!

I have a really awesome interview for you today. I love each and every Woman Who Rocks that I bring you, but Patricia Ann McNair--or simply Patty as I've known her for the past eleven years or so--is extra special because she is one of those women that would go in my list of inspirations and people I wouldn't be a writer without. When I went back to college at 21, pursuing my BA (and eventually my MFA) at Columbia College Chicago, she was one of my professors in my very first semester. She taught a class called Fiction Writers & Censorship, which totally set me free. I wouldn't be able to write what I do without her. She was also there toward the very end of my time at Columbia and taught my thesis development class when I was putting finishing touches on the first draft (or maybe it was second... my drafts blur) of the book that would become I WANNA BE YOUR JOEY RAMONE. Again, I wouldn't be the writer I am without her input and guidance. And she wouldn't be a stellar writing teacher if she wasn't a stellar writer, so I am extremely excited about the release of her book THE TEMPLE OF AIR. It is my honor to bring her here today to talk about it, so let's meet Ms. Patty McNair, shall we?

Q: Tell us about your new collection of short stories, THE TEMPLE OF AIR. How long did it take for this collection to come together and what are some of the common themes? Also tell us about some of your favorite characters and what inspired you to write them.

Patty: THE TEMPLE OF AIR was a long time in the making, Stephanie. The first story that was published was “The Joke,” and that was in the 1990s. Now, I didn’t know that it was part of a collection, but as happens, you start to write a few stories here and there, and then things start to surface: similar characters, a familiar place—in this case a fictional Midwestern small town called New Hope. What started to emerge for me first, probably, were these voices of young girls and women. A number of the stories feature teen-aged girls who find themselves caught in situations beyond their control—witness to an accident, part of a broken family, facing—literally—a coming storm. While these stories are set mostly in the seventies, many of the situations the girls (and boys and men) encounter are important now. The devastation of war, parents looking for work, encountering the homeless.

I am drawn to writing about young women of a certain age: fifteen or thereabouts. Perhaps because my own father died when I was just fifteen, and it had a lasting effect on who I became as a woman. That age is so precarious and important. Young women know so much then, but also have so much ahead of themselves to experience and learn. They are discovering or rejecting or experimenting with everything out there—religion, sex, drugs. Life. Some of my favorite characters here are Nova—the girl in the very first story who is shaken and shaped by an accident that starts the book off (she appears later in the collection as well); Rennie, a girl whose mother has an eating disorder and a weird religious belief; Christie who gets stuck baby-sitting a girl with special needs over the course of a summer; and a high school senior who doesn’t tell us her name and who is helpless when her best guy friend is drafted into the army. There are adults here, too, and men of course. A young man who is caught in a bizarre way when he tries to rob an ice cream parlor; the twins who own the ice cream parlor and are on the run for their own crimes; a gorgeous blond boy named Sky who is more bad than good, a father who loses his daughter.

Q. I also love place as a character and I know that you are a travel writer in addition to writing short stories, so can you talk a bit about the use of place in your work? The small town in THE TEMPLE OF AIR is called New Hope. Is it based on a real place? Tell us about how you developed it.

Patty: I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, but since I was a kid, my folks took us on some pretty great trips: Jamaica, Spain, Portugal, a long camping trip throughout the American West. I guess that started my affinity for place. I love maps and travel books and I love to travel. To me, being somewhere else is the best way to figure out where I come from. Does that make sense?

Anyway, my grandparents lived in small towns and farming communities, so we also spent a lot of time in rural areas. I really loved those places. The way everyone knew each other, how everyone walked everywhere, said hello to each other. And later, I went to school in Iowa and stayed there for some years after. I’ve also spent some time in other small, Midwestern places: Interlochen, Michigan; Siren, Wisconsin; Mount Carroll, Illinois. So New Hope is a sort of composite of these towns in the middle of America. A little bit of the plains, a little of the rolling river towns, some of the small lakes, a tornado alley. Like you in your first book, Stephanie, I wanted to use a place where it would be hard to go entirely unnoticed, a place where people knew your business at least a little. New Hope isn’t a tiny town, but small enough that the people who live there might get antsy within its limits, and also a place they might come to if they were trying to escape the life of a city.

Q: If THE TEMPLE OF AIR had a soundtrack, what are five of the songs that would be on it and why?

Patty: What an interesting question. Hmmm. There are probably lots of ways to answer this, but here goes:

1. Jimi Hendrix: “All Along the Watchtower”
2. Cat Stevens: “Wild World”

These first two because they evoke a feeling from the time the book starts (late sixties, early seventies.) The Vietnam war was going on, and the people in the stories who were growing up in New Hope would probably listen to something intense like Jimi Hendrix (psychedelic, sophisticated in its riffs) when they were
home or in small groups. And Cat Stevens’ sentiment about the wild world pretty much sums up what was going on for these young people.

3. Steve Miller: “The Joker”

I just heard this song on the radio the other day and thought it had to be on this list. It’s a song I remember so vividly from my own life at the time of when the book is set. We’d sing it at the top of our lungs, thinking we were getting away with something yelling out “I’m a joker, I’m a smoker, I’m a midnight toker” and “really love your peaches, want to shake your tree.” Pretty tame stuff compared with lyrics today, but we thought we were clever and subversive then, speaking a language our parents weren’t supposed to understand. And I think my characters would feel that way, too.

4. Donna Summer: “Bad Girls”

The stories move into the disco era, and some of the women in the stories take on a certain reckless pursuit of good times.

5. The Wallflowers: “One Headlight”

This song falls out of the time span of the novel, but it is one I played a lot while I was writing some of the stories. It has a sweet, rural feel to it, a lush sound that makes me think of what the stories’ landscape is like. A loneliness, a quiet, rich darkness.

Q: Who are some of the people that inspired you to become a writer or keep writing? Since it is Women Who Rock Wednesday, we particularly love to hear about the women, but feel free to include men too.

A: I loved books by Madeline L’Engle (A Wrinkle in Time) and S. E. Hinton (The Outsiders, etc.) when I was a kid. Women writers, both. Virginia Woolf, Dorothy Allison, Bonnie Jo Campbell, all women whose work makes me want to write. And I hope you don’t mind my saying this, Stephanie, but women like you, who have been my students and who show me how they had the strength and tenacity it takes to keep the writing going despite other obligations, have been such an inspiration. You guys (gals) make me take the work seriously. And lucky me, my husband, the artist Philip Hartigan, gives me such inspiration and support. He works so hard at his own craft, I have to work at mine in order to keep up.

But the most important person is my mom, who died a few years ago. She was a travel writer herself and got me writing gigs early on. On summer days when I was a little kid, she used to give me writing prompts and would expect me to have a story written by the time she got home from work. I loved that. And she told me that she chose my name—Patricia Ann McNair—by imagining what it would look like on the cover a book. I mean, come on! How could I not be a writer with that sort of juju?

Q: What's next for you? What are you working on now?

Patty: What’s on my desk at the moment is a novel-in-progress that also takes place in New Hope. It has a working title that shifts now and again, but today it is called “Climbing the House of God Hill.” It’s a story about a fifteen-year-old girl (huh, imagine that!) who is homeschooled and who gets mixed up in a scandal in town that involves an older man (who also happens to be an immigrant and a father of seven kids), and a friend of her own father who is a member of the church, and her stepmother. It’s a complicated plot right now, but I am hopeful that it will begin to both untangle and deepen the more I write.

Q: I have two standard questions for my women who rock. The first is a two-parter. What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge :)

Patty: My first album Diana Ross Presents the Jackson 5. (Okay, now you know how old I am.) I remember it cost 3.99 (or was it 2.99?) at KMart. I came home and played it over and over and over again. I had such a huge crush on Michael Jackson who was just my age. We had this big picture window that was like a mirror when the sun went down, and I would dance in front of it to the album and pretend I was the sixth Jackson, a token white girl.

My first concert was Chicago, with the Pointer Sisters opening. No one knew who they were (The Pointer Sisters) at the time, and so they were practically booed off the stage. I was there for Chicago like everyone else, but I remember thinking that the women were pretty good, and we’d hear from them again. I was too young to get there on my own; my brother had to take me and some girlfriends. We tried to lose him at the concert, though, so we could meet guys.

Q: Tell us about your biggest rock star moment, perhaps it's a moment of real success in your career, a time when you met someone super cool and had that Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" moment, or just a time where you felt like you got the rock star treatment. I get a huge variety of answers for the questions, so it's pretty much whatever "rock star moment" means to you!

Patty: It’s gotta be the launch party for my book just this past Friday. I read at Women and Children First, a bookstore I have always hoped to see my book in some day, and it was so great.

I got there a little early, and at the time, there were only about eight people there, two of them friends of my mom’s, one my own brother, a couple of colleagues, some random shoppers. I knew that the bookstore had ordered a load of books, upping their order a couple of times because they were expecting a lot of people. I was worried that it would be a total flop, that they’d hardly sell anything, that no one would come. Do you ever get over this feeling.

Well, little by little the place started to fill up. Soon it was standing room only, folks in all the chairs and stuffed in all the way to the front windows of the store. And the door kept opening. I could see faces of people I knew were there to support me all the way in the back of the crowd. And when Kathie Bergquist, a Woman Who Most Definitely Rocks, introduced me, the crowd actually cheered! Holy shit!

And no one left in the middle of things, and the book-signing line went on forever it seemed, past closing time for the bookstore. And they sold pretty much every book of mine in the store, even pulling the display one out of the window.

I think that must be what it feels like to be a rock star. Excited, listened to, enjoyed, humbled. And lucky. So very, very lucky.

Thanks for doing this, Patty. I am honored to have you and thanks for the shout-out. I'm glad I can be an inspiration to you too, since you have been such a big one to me.

Today's Contest:

After hearing more about it, I'm guessing you want THE TEMPLE OF AIR and you are in luck! Patty is offering up a a signed copy of it!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about THE TEMPLE OF AIR
+5 for blogging about THE TEMPLE OF AIR

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win.

Please note that due to shipping expenses this prize can ONLY be shipped to US/Canada addresses.

I will be drawing the winner on September 28 during my next Women Who Rock Wednesday interview!

Launch week for my Super Sekrit Project (and one you already knew about)

2011-09-05T11:19:00.003-05:00

Before I wrote novels (or short stories that would become novel material as my short stories tend to do), I wrote 'zines. When I talk about why I write YA, I often say that I do so because there weren't a lot of really good YA books that told the kind of stories I needed/wanted to read. One of the few things that gave me a voice as a teenager was Sassy magazine, but even that faded out of existence during my the middle of high school when I needed it the most. My life might have been a little easier or at least made more sense if Sassy had continued, but fortunately it inspired and motivated me to write about the changes that I wanted to see in the world. It was my guiding force at sixteen along with bands like Bratmobile (who I discovered through Sassy) and Bikini Kill who made their own 'zines and were involved with a movement called Riot Grrrl that I desperately wanted to be a part of after reading about it in an amazing book (that sadly is out of print) called GIRL POWER by Hillary Carlip.

I teamed up with my three best friends and wrote a feminist 'zine called Kill Supermodels, which of course did not indicate actually killing supermodels, but rather the standard of beauty that it seemed only the tall, skinny, white girl could achieve. We ranted about all of the things that made the world hard for a teenage girl to live in and advocated for change, dreaming of a safer, more just and equal life for all. I used to fantasize that me and my three friends could start a real revolution right there in my bedroom, typing up our stories and creating collages and illustrations to go with them. That time period, junior year of high school, was probably the single hardest year of my life and the one beam of sunshine was doing those 'zines and the community--the girls across the country and the world that they would lead me to, some of whom remain my best friends.

I also wrote three very raw, very personal 'zines called Goddess Defiled, Hospital Gown, and Do Not Go Quietly Unto Your Grave. These dealt with what I was struggling with: self-injury, addiction, depression, the painful recovery from an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship, and just plain growing up and realize that the world was not what you thought it would be.

I wrote and distributed my last 'zine around my eighteenth birthday. I still have file folders with ideas for other issues, but I got distracted by college and short stories and an ugly period of self-destruction. When I got through that I focused on writing my novels, only publishing the occasional personal essay in a friend's magazine or on a website or here on my blog.

My regular blog readers probably won't be surprised that I've always wanted to do some sort of project like a big 'zine that would reach teenage girls and give them a voice the way Sassy did for me. It's been a deep down desire for years that has only gotten stronger lately. You see I don't have a daughter, but my childhood best friend had a baby girl during our senior year of high school and that little girl is now a brilliant and talented young woman who is entering high school this year. She is like my daughter, she is definitely my niece (blood does not matter there) and she is my muse. I wanted to gift her with something like Sassy because like all good parents and aunts, I want her life to be better than mine.

Then almost a year ago, I was hanging out with two my high school best friends/fellow Kill Supermodels founders and one of them asked, "Have you heard about Tavi Gevinson?" My other friend and I had not, so she went on to describe this fourteen year-old girl from our town--Oak Park, Illinois, where BALLADS OF SUBURBIA was set--who became a well-known for her fashion blog Style Rookie at the age of eleven. The more she said, the more awestruck I was of Tavi. She gave all three of us massive hope, this young teenage girl who who was letting her voice be heard and had a lot of the same beliefs in feminism and girl empowerment that we had developed as teenagers. Unlike us, she had her shit together, had a platform, and a real chance to make a difference.

A few weeks later my friend emailed me and my other friend to tell us that Tavi was planning to start a Sassy inspired magazine and would even be consulting with Jane Pratt, the woman who started. I kid you not, I almost cried when I read about it. My friend suggested that the old Kill Supermodels craw submit so we did. Last November. I practically forgot about it, but in early April, I received an email from Tavi inviting me to be a part of her online magazine, which the group of us would eventually decide to call Rookie. She said she couldn't pay, but I didn't care. I had to do it. I thought the world needs this. Today's teenage girl needs this. I needed this. Hell, I still do.

So I've been plotting and planning and writing pieces all summer with Tavi, our incredible story editor Anaheed, and the rest of Team Rookie--a bunch of fabulously talented writers and artists that I am unbelievably honored to work along side. We're creating the kind of project I wished to be a part of since I was in high school. I was not kidding last week when I tweeted that this Super Sekrit Project might be the project I am most proud of out of anything I've done, possibly even my books. I can't believe I've kept it a secret (from all but a select few) for five months. Part of me also can't even believe that it's real. But here it is.

This is ROOKIE.

I'll be writing two to three times a month for it (which has been keeping me quite busy, but is soooo worth it), mostly personal essays about the things I've grappled with as a teenager, but every now and then I'll write something fun and light about pop culture because angsty as I am, I do have a sense of humor. I'm really proud of the pieces I wrote for our first issue and will be sure to let you know when they go live. The way the site works is super cool with a new piece (some are written, some are images or multimedia) going up three different times a day, around the time people are getting home from school, around dinner time, and around that time you are supposed to be finishing your homework but are procrastinating instead. Tavi explains more about that and the site in general in her letter from the editor, which you should read here. You can also read more about how it all came together in this article that ran in the New York Times magazine. And do check out the full list of amazing contributors here.

There are already some wonderful written pieces and gorgeous visuals up, so if you have the day off today, I hope you'll spend it exploring the site. I'm also going to run a contest, which I will detail below after one more announcement.

I haven't been keeping this one secret at all. The DEAR BULLY anthology comes out tomorrow. I am one of 70 YA authors (including a bunch of huge amazing authors like Ellen Hopkins who I am truly humbled to be included with) who wrote an essay, letter, poem or comic about their experience with bullying. It's amazing, inspiring, and another project I hope will make a huge difference.

If you've read my novels, you know that silence and the need to break it to survive the painful things in life is a major them in my work and it is so because that's the hardest lesson I've ever learned. In fact I'm still learning it. I think Rookie and DEAR BULLY can play a big part and breaking the silence surrounding the hard issues and giving teens a voice. I'm insanely proud of them and I want to get the word out, so I'm gonna do a massive contest this month.

September Contest

The mission is to spread the word about Rookie and DEAR BULLY. So you will get:

+5 for writing a blog post about Rookie

+5 for writing a blog post about DEAR BULLY

+1 for following Rookie on Twitter

+1 for following DEAR BULLY on Twitter

+1 for "liking" Rookie on Facebook

+1 for "liking" DEAR BULLY on Facebook

+1 for following Rookie on Tumbler

+1 for every piece you comment on on Rookie, so that means the more pieces you read and comment on, the more entries you get

+1 for *each* tweet or facebook status update about Rookie (yes, each one, so tweet your hearts out)

+1 for *each* tweet or facebook status update about DEAR BULLY

You can record your points in your comments here (including links to tweets/status updates/blogs etc) or if it is easier to email me a big list at the end, you can do so to stephanie AT stephaniekuehnert DOT com. The deadline is September 30. I'm going out of town the day after that, so I will tally things up and announce/contact the winner on October 7th.

The prize will go to the person who has the most points (and if there is a tie, it will be decidedly randomly using a coin toss, dice roll or random.org). The prize as of now is signed copies of both of my books PLUS a copy of DEAR BULLY PLUS copies of some of my 'zines. Karen Mahoney has also agreed to give away a signed copy of her fabulous book, The Iron Witch! I'm hoping to get some more of my author friends who are all about empowering teenagers and giving them a voice to donate prizes. Hey author friends, if you are willing to, let me know either here or via email.

Okay that's it. I hope you guys are excited not only about the contest but also about Rookie and DEAR BULLY. Please visit Rookie and tell me what you think!

Women Who Rock Wednesday: Kody Keplinger

2011-08-31T05:21:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Women Who Rock Wednesday! Before we meet today's guest, I have a book to give away. The winner of Arlaina Tibensky's And Then Things Fall Apart is jpetroroy from blogger! Congrats! I will email you for your address!

Today I'm stoked to feature a YA author that I admire and had a blast signing beside at BEA 2010 right before her first book THE DUFF: (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) came out. I'm talking of course about the fabulous Kody Keplinger, pictured here with her lovely new curls:

Kody has a new book called SHUT OUT that will be out next week (but is already shipping from B&N), so I thought I'd invite her over to be the rock star that she is and tell us about it on Women Who Rock Wednesday. Let's meet her, shall we?

Q: Please tell us about SHUT OUT and what inspired you to write it?

Kody: SHUT OUT is a modern re-imagining of Lysistrata by Aristophanes, a Greek play I read and loved in college. Which is to say, I read it and then turned to my roommate and said, "Hey, this would be AWESOME in a high school setting!" So that's how SHUT OUT came to be. It's about Lissa, a teenage girl whose boyfriend is constantly being distracted by a stupid sports rivalry, so she and the girlfriends of other jocks band together and go on a sex strike, telling they boys they're getting zero action until the pranks and hazing end. Chaos and hilarity ensues!

Q: If there was a soundtrack for SHUT OUT, what are five songs that would be on it and how do they relate to the story or characters?

Kody: Oh, there IS a soundtrack! (Well, in my head). I'll be putting a full list up on my website soon, but five songs that, to me, were influential to the book are:

1. "One Girl Revolution" by Saving Jane (which totally sums up the entire novel, actually)
2. "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga (the entire inspiration behind Lissa's frustrated love life)
3. "Can't Hold Us Down" by Christina Aguilera and Lil' Kim (all about the double standards Lissa and her friends begin to see between boys and girls when it comes to sex)
4. "Doll Parts" by Hole (was constantly playing on iPod when I was writing about Lissa and it just seemed to filter through into her character.)
5. "Come On Closer" by Jem (a song all about sexual tension! What could be more appropriate?)

Q: You totally amaze me because you are a published YA author who is still in college (right? or did you recently graduate and I totally didn't know?). Writing was my dream since I was a kid, but it took me awhile to get it all together. I bet there are a bunch of teen writers who you are an inspiration for and would love to know how you reached your dream so quickly. Can you tell us a little bit about your path to publishing? How old were you when your first book came out? What were some of your key inspirations to start writing and what were some key steps you took to ensure that you met your goals and got published?

Kody: Well, firstly, I'm not in college anymore. I didn't graduate, but I"m taking some time off to figure things out and to get some writing done! But I did start writing early. Like you, I have ALWAYS wanted to write, ever since I was a little girl. But when I was in high school I finally decided to research how it was that one go published - what steps needed to be taken. That's how I learned that I needed an agent. I didn't get one on my first book, but when I reached out to agents for my second I had a little more luck. I was only seventeen, but that didn't bother her at all, which was good! I was still 17 when my first book, THE DUFF, sold, and I was 19 when it was released last year. I've been so inspired by other writers, like JK Rowling, Judy Blume, Sarah Dessen, and others. My biggest piece of advice to teen writers is to just keep writing. There will be a lot of "no"s in the road to publication, but if you keep writing, you might reach that "yes" one day, and that's what makes it worth it.

Q: I also love that you write contemporary, realistic YA fiction, which isn't a genre that gets as much attention as paranormal or dystopian, but the stories are just as important. Can you talk about what inspires you to write the kind of edgy, realistic stories that you write?

Kody: To be perfectly honest, I write the stories I want to read. I LOVE fantasy and dystopian, but I loved contemporary, too, and I could never seem to find enough of them in high school, so I wrote one. Then another. I think there can be just as much excitement in a realistic setting as there can be in a fantasy! There's angst, romance, drama. So, yeah. I write what I wanted to read - stories about real people dealing with real, not-sugar-coated issues. With a little fun mixed in, of course!

Q: I know SHUT OUT is brand new, but you have rabid fans including me, so please tell us what's next?

Kody: Aww, thank you! Well, after SHUT OUT I have a third book out next Summer (just under a year from now) called A MIDSUMMER'S NIGHTMARE. Now, before you get all excited, its not related to Shakespeare. I'm done with retellings for a bit. But it's about a girl dealing with what she thinks is the worst summer ever, only to discover that through all the bad, she might find something very important she's been missing for a while. I'm REALLY excited about it and hope my readers love the characters as much as I do when it comes out.

Q: I have two questions that I always ask my Women Who Rock, the first is a two-parter. What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge, we like to see the roots of our women who rock!

Kody: Oh, Gawwwwd, this is embarrassing, but okay. My first album was "Oops, I Did It Again" by Britney Spears, and I still know all the lyrics to half those songs because it was on constant repeat. And my first concert, which i saw when I was 16, was Hank Williams Jr, which my dad took me to for my birthday, even though its HIS favorite musician, not mine. Still a fun show, though.

Q: Tell us about your biggest rock star moment, perhaps it's a moment of real success in your career, a time when you met someone super cool and had that Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" moment, or just a time where you felt like you got the rock star treatment.

Kody: Oh my gosh, okay - so last year I got to attend a YA Lit conference in Chicago. My publisher sent me, and I go to stay at this super nice hotel. Now, I've stayed in nice hotels before, but not like this one. I kid you not - there was a TV inside the bathroom mirror. Like, there was a remote and you could see the TV on the mirror and watch it while you got read int he morning. It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen, and at that moment, I felt like a rockstar - because I was in a hotel with such fancy bathroom furniture! haha.

Dude, that is super cool. Yanno, I'm near Chicago, so next time invite me over, okay?

Thanks very much to Kody for swinging by for an interview. I bet everyone is pumped for SHUT OUT now, so what are you waiting for.... go order it from your favorite bookstore!

Muses for the New YA Project

2011-08-18T06:54:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned on my YA Outside the Lines blog entry earlier this week, I'm having a really hard time getting started on my new YA project. I explain my issues there in depth (and ask for advice on how to kickstart a new project so if you have tips, please go and share them!), but to summarize lot of them have to do with self-doubt, especially after struggles with The Bartender Book and general uncertainty about my career. And I don't know, maybe I always struggle with the beginning of a book, but because it takes me so long to finish a book, I forget how hard it is by the time I have to start a new one.

This time around I also had a really hard time deciding between three ideas, but I'm pretty sure I've settled on my oldest idea. It's something I've been toying with since early 2008, around the same time I started toying with what became The Bartender Book. I've written a few partial drafts and synopses of this idea. It's had two different titles. It's been a contemporary realistic YA story with a metaphor that didn't really work and then it was a paranormal YA story that almost worked, but something just wasn't right. I also took input from too many people without trusting my own instincts and it became this Thing That Was No Longer Mine. But the idea at the very core is one I've been obsessed with such I was a teenager, actually maybe even younger, so I felt determined to reclaim it.

Through working closely with a couple of trusted writing buddies (I love you Kaz and Vanessa! Also Jenny and Jeri!), I think I've hashed out a plot that will actually work this time. I've been inspired by books that blend realistic fiction with fantastical elements like IMAGINARY GIRLS by Nova Ren Suma. (Such an amazing book!!! Seriously, click that link and get it now. You will thank me!) It seemed like that sort of touch is exactly what this book idea needed. I want to straddle the line of reality and fairytale so that readers feel like maybe I'm telling a story that could actually happen or maybe I'm creating my own modern fairytale. Because fairytales, myths and classic stories from my childhood are where the center of this thing is. I've always been fascinated by girls who get lost, wander off the path, are taken or that someone tries to break and what becomes of them depending on the choices they make.

So, I've been plotting and brainstorming for the past month and a half (and how I hate that it has taken that long, gah!!! One of these days a book will just pour out of me. Hopefully the next book because I am due.) It has often been very frustrating, but I think I have a general idea and usually a general idea is all I need. But as I mentioned in that YAOTL Blog, I'm having a really tough time diving in. I'm leaving to Seattle on Saturday and hoping that my six-day trip to my favorite place on earth will give me clarity and peace of mind so I can come back ready to dive in.

Because I figure I may need it, I thought I'd put together the things that stirred up this idea for me in some way so I have them in one place to feed my muse. This will also give you hints about what I'm working on, as many hints as I'm willing to drop at this point at least. Like last time I am still not comfortable sharing real titles though I do have one, but I think in order to officially make this a Work In Progress rather than a brainstorm it needs a project name like The Bartender Book. For now I will call this The Modern Myth YA and here are her inspirations:

I will start with music because music always comes first for me. This is one song that has stayed on my playlist (which has changed names and dropped and added songs every time I change titles). It contains the quote I have at the front of the manuscript right now, which is pretty much my driving idea for the story:

"How we survive is what makes us who we are." - Rise Against, "Survive":

But when I was trying to reclaim this story and figure out how to change it so that I could actually write a full book on it, I tried to listen to my old playlist and I wasn't feeling inspired by it. I was actually ready to give up because if I don't have the music for a story idea, the idea just isn't going to work for me. Then I landed on this song. I listened to it 10 times in a row as I started to sketch out new ideas. It's all here. "I Am A Revenant" by The Distillers is my main character. It showed me how she feels, how she acts, what she does, what she looks like. It gives me a glimpse into her heart:

At that point, I realized that The Distillers are my band for this project. I have no idea why it wasn't obvious before. I dumped almost half of their catalog onto my playlist. Two songs that particularly stuck out to be were these. It's strange because in my own life, "Hall of Mirrors" and "The Hunger" were break-up songs, forever they have reminded me of the end of a painful 8 year romance. My story isn't centered on a romance, but I still hear my character in this song.

This one has lines that speak of her journey: "There's a highway to the edge/Once a night you will find yourself there/At the end of the road you will find the answer/At the end of the road you will drink the fear":

And The Hunger which is may be my all-time favorite Distillers song has that pure raw scream of anguish, that "Don't Go!" even though you know you have to let go and "Hold on to the memory, it's all you got":

Then at one point I was listening to "Live Through This" by Hole and realized that most of that album should be on my playlist, especially "Violet" because that whole "I'm the one with no soul, one above and one below" line is perfect as is the whole "Might last a day, Mine is forever" part of the chorus:

Oh and this next song. This has been on the playlist all along, but I didn't realize exactly what it would mean to the project until very recently. This song and fireflies in general are really symbolic for me in surviving my own depression and dark times when I was in high school, something which I talk a bit about in this vlog I made a couple of years ago. Yeah, this song, major part of The Modern Myth YA's theme:

Corin Tucker is the singer of Heavens To Betsy and also of Sleater-Kinney whose song I got the title I WANNA BE YOUR JOEY RAMONE for. It seems she is always a huge inspiration for me because songs from her album 1,000 years with her latest band, The Corin Tucker Band are finding their way on to my playlist as well. In fact I might name a character after this song, although my Riley would be telling my main character, "What you've been through is rough. Just keep going, don't let it get you down for too long." And I love this video too:

In addition to music I am also drawing a lot of inspiration from this:

Yes, wild girls. Definitely.

But books and music are common inspirations for me. What's surprising is I've always been drawn to a lot of imagery as well for this one. These are probably what will give you the most insight into what I'm writing about.... Maybe.

Here's one I just saw yesterday. Frances Bean Cobain, the daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love is about to turn 19 (today I think! Happy Birthday, Frances Bean!) and there have been some really beautiful images of her that were taken recently. I've got to say that as the daughter of the two people I idolized most as a teenager, she intrigues me, but beyond that she is just really pretty and photographs quite well in that you can see a story in the images of her. Is it her story? I have no idea, I wouldn't be so presumptuous to assume that. What I see in this photo is my story though actually. It's something about those branches that appear both behind her and on her chest and the way she is partially shadowed and lit up. Though my main character looks a lot different than Frances does here, I see her in this image. Also one of the tiny little hints I will give about my story. My main character is the daughter of celebrities and the book is set in LA. Modern myth, there you have it.

Then this is an image from a graphic novel that has stuck with me since high school. There are certainly elements of The Crow in what I'm working on.

And finally we have these paintings:

That's "Demeter" and "Persephone" painted by Jeanie Tomanek. Yes, elements in my myth for sure. I'm going to remain mum on how and the only reason I even posted these is because I saw them during my research (thanks again, Kaz!) and haven't been able to stop looking at them or the rest of this woman's artwork, which you can check out here. Especially this one, which speaks to me in sort of the same way as the Frances Bean photograph (but sadly comes out much too big for me to post directly here.) I've admitted before that I am usually totally dumb when it comes to art. I have no idea what I like, but now I have found it. I love love love this. It's exactly the mood I hope to capture in my book. And if I actually manage to write it and it sells, I may reward myself with one of Ms. Tomanek's brilliant paintings.

So yeah, those are my muses. If you've seen/heard/read things that you think may inspire me, by all means post away. And I hope these various elements intrigue you about what is to come from me. Most of all I hope that after my vacation, I can get my ass in gear and create it!

Also last minute thought.... I probably don't need another online distraction, but as I compiled this, I thought maybe it would be easier to just get a tumblr to compile all of these things as I come across them. Any tumblr fans out there? What do you think?

Women Who Rock Wednesday: Arlaina Tibensky!

2011-08-17T07:41:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Women Who Rock Wednesday! Before we meet today's guest, I have a book to give away. The winner of Melissa Walker's Small Town Sinners is auds07 from LiveJournal! Congrats! I will email you for your address!

Today we have the fabulous debut YA author Arlaina Tibensky here tell us about her book AND THEN THINGS FALL APART. I was lucky enough to meet Arlaina for coffee while she was visiting Chicago a couple of weeks ago. See, aren't we adorable?

I can tell you firsthand that she is made of awesome and I am really excited to her book and I'm guessing that if you love my books you will love Arlaina and her book, too. So let's meet her, shall we?

Q: Please tell us what AND THEN THINGS FALL APART is about and what inspired you to write it.

ARLAINA: The book is about how Sylvia Plath and an old typewriter usher an angsty reluctant virgin through the worst summer of her freaking life.

That’s the tagline but it’s about a lot of things, great literature, misbehaved parents, the coolest grandmother ever. Garage sales, vintage clothes, Chicago, expensive nail polish…

When I was 15 my parents were getting divorced and I was staying at my grandma’s house when I got the chicken pox. I had been writing other novels and short stories forever but this idea about a sick literate girl stuck in bed without a computer really stuck with me. One day I heard an interview with Libba Bray on a podcast of Meet the Writers where she talked about making a playlist for all her books. I had never even heard of her and she was so warm and funny and we seemed to have a similar sensibility and I thought hmmm. YA, huh? Why not! I went home, made a playlist and started typing. And as soon as I hacked out three pages in like, 5 minutes, it felt like the planets had aligned and I was finally writing what I was supposed to be writing. FINALLY.

Q: If there was a soundtrack for AND THEN THINGS FALL APART what are five songs that would be on it and how do they relate the story?

ARLAINA: Smokestack Lightnin' by Howlin' Wolf
This one makes me feel the kind of sad I get at Christmas, which is a feeling I adore and think of as a particularly teenaged feeling.

You Know I'm No Good by Amy Winehouse
This song is so open and raw- love it. It best exemplifies the kind of tough Keek wishes she could be, especially in matters of the heart. Don’t get me started on the heartbreak of her dying on me…

Stand And Deliver by Adam Ant
My love of Adam Ant knows no bounds. This song was also a kind of battle cry for Keek, daring her to stand up for herself. And it’s kind of funny and Keek has nothing if not a sense of humor.

Remember (Walkin' In The Sand) by The Shangri-Las
This one tears you a new aorta. It reminds me that the passionate turmoil of being a teenager is timeless and really embodies the kind of hurt and betrayal Keek feels over both Matt and Amanda.

Like Cockatoos by the Cure
I hear this song and I am instantly16 and in an attic making out with my hot goth boyfriend. INSTANTLY. So it really helped ground me in that time and place so I could write with authenticity.

Q: We have a lot of things in common like being raised in the Chicago suburbs and going to punk shows at the Fireside Bowl. But it also sounds like you loved Sylvia Plath as much as I did in high school. Can you please talk about how she influenced you?

ARLAINA: Sylvia Plath was one of the first writers I read where I actually noticed the writing. There’s this whole idea, especially in high school English class, that when the writing is really “good” you don’t notice it. Plath’s poems and the best places in The Bell Jar just captivated me with the surreal and punk rock beauty of the words and the way that she chose to put them together. The words called attention to themselves in the best possible way. It made me see, probably for the first time, that writing was an art. And of course, her suicide glamoured me into loving her too, the maudlin idea of a beautiful, tortured young poet, dead at 30. It fit perfectly into my romantic notion of the suffering artist.

Q: Who else has influenced you as a writer? It could be anyone from other artists to parents and teachers. We love hearing about inspiring women on Women Who Rock Wednesday, but feel free to include men as well.

ARLAINA: I can’t leave out Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye. That book was a huge influence on And Then Things Fall Apart (and me). Holden’s voice is so powerful and has a flat-footed oddness to it that made me notice the words as I was totally caught up in the momentum. Dorothy Parker. Jane Bowels. The Hernandez Brothers of Love and Rockets. Bukowski. Those are four more big influences. I’m really drawn to slightly off-kilter dark yet redemptive characters with a sense of humor. I guess because they mirror how I see myself. Or something.

And of course there are all the badass women (including two nuns!) who taught me how to diagram sentences and conjugate verbs and write lucid and entertaining 5 paragraph essays. My English teachers expected the best from me and encouraged all my writing endeavors and I wouldn’t be writing today if it weren’t for them and their red pencils.

Q: I know AND THEN THINGS FALL APART just came out, but as soon as we devour it, I know we're gonna want more, so what is next for you?

ARLAINA: I have two ideas arm-wrestling for dominance in my brain… One is a mother daughter thing and the other is an effed up family with a brother and a sister. I love them both and can’t seem to figure out which one I should dance with first. The short answer is: another book. Soon…

Q: I have two questions that I always ask my Women Who Rock, the first is a two-parter.
What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge, we like to see the roots of our women who rock!

ARLAINA: First album I bought on purpose was the soundtrack to Fame- the original… I used to listen to it in my grandma’s oversized sea-foam green carpeted bathroom and construct these elaborate routines in the mirror. “I sing, the body electric…” And it was a cassette tape.

The first concert was U2. I know! It was a big big show at Rosemont Horizon. I want to say it was the Joshua Tree tour but it’s kind of a blur.
I was so caught up with the drama of the guy who invited me (we had just broken up and I didn’t know if it was a date or what and that kind of thing totally unnerved me then) but it was big and fun and electric. I saw the Cure there too on the Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me Tour, not long after…

Q: Tell us about your biggest rock star moment, perhaps it's a moment of real success in your career, a time when you met someone super cool and had that Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" moment, or just a time where you felt like you got the rock star treatment.

ARLAINA: When I was in high school my mom and I went on a safari in Africa. To prepare we had to attend a pre-trip meeting at the Rosemont Hilton. The meeting room was near the pool and was very exciting. We learned about the shots we would need and the unique places we were going to stay and we were all dazed and drunk with the glamour of international travel when we got into the elevator to take us back to the parking lot. As we were waiting for the doors to close, a very tattooed and skinny eyelinered and wet man got in the elevator with us, a towel around his neck. Dude. I RECOGNIZED the giant blue dragon tattoo. And my mother (who is the true rock star here) asks him, “Excuse me, but aren’t you a musician?” and he says- in total British accent, kind of like a question, I kid you not “I’m Ozzy Osborne.” And I’m practically inside out with embarrassment and awe and then my mom says: “Oh, my brother really enjoys your music.” And he says, “Thanks very much” and we got out at the lobby.

This was like, 1989 when he was still a rock star and not a reality TV star. But the moment was very rock star all the way around, my badass mom, the badass trip my mom couldn’t really afford, the nonchalant half nakedness of the encounter. I think of that experience often because it made me realize in a concrete way that you are always the rock star of your own life.

Today's Contest:

After hearing more about it, I'm guessing you want AND THEN THINGS FALL APART and you are in luck! Arlaina is offering up a copy!

This contest is open to international entries!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about AND THEN THINGS FALL APART
+5 for blogging about AND THEN THINGS FALL APART

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win. I will be drawing the winner on August 31 when I bring you the next Women Who Rock Wednesday interview, which will be with Kody Keplinger!

Why I've Been Quiet Lately

2011-08-08T07:16:00.001-05:00

Sorry this blog got all kinds of spotty again after a really good June. I feel bad when I only post up interviews even though I do like to share the cool authors and other folks that I discover with you guys.

I think I'm still trying to figure out how to best use my blog. I want it to be a source of interesting information as well as personal reflections on well, my life, writing, and music as the blog's name Life, Words & Rock 'n' Roll suggests. But I don't even know how often people read blogs any more because Twitter and Tumblr and Facebook and now Google+ (which I'm on but haven't actually used much) make it easier to get the basics and small doses of information.

The thing is, I'm not a small doses kind of gal. My blog entries are longer than they should be and I know it and so are my books. But I write the stories I write because they are what I want to tell and I don't like to blog for the sake of blogging. I blog when I have something urgent that I need to share whether it be my own news or a great band or book or author or just an observation or obsession I need to talk about. I also use this a sort of public journal where I work through my own issues whether they be with my writing process or regarding things I've gone through in the past like self-injury, abuse, addiction, etc. So I guess I'm saying that I hope this is okay with you and you will keep reading and entering my contests, etc and that you will also bear with me during my quieter moments like right now because I just don't blog when I don't have things that are interesting or appropriate to say and I also seem to go through cycles when I barely have time to eat or sleep so blogging just falls off.

Here's what's been going on with me lately & why I've been so quiet:

1. There is a lot of stuff going on in my personal life that I don't feel comfortable talking about publicly so I'm not. It's been a hard summer. People I love have been sick and/or going through difficult times and it's just seemed like one bit of bad luck after the next. I don't want to be a whiny Debbie Downer, so I'm following the "When you don't have anything nice to say, STFU" rule.

2. There is a lot of stuff going on in my professional life that I either don't feel comfortable talking about or simply can't talk about it. Yet. You'll hear about it when I'm ready/allowed to talk about it. But I spent much of last month in yet another cycle of major self-doubt. Like consulting tarot cards for a different career path self-doubt. Like wondering if I could be a nurse like my mom even though I'm pretty sure I'd faint at the sight of a ton of blood self-doubt. More on that when I've processed it completely, I'm sure because while I don't want to be one of those writers who writes about writing all the time, there are some things that are really important to share and self-doubt and how we work through it is a biggie. But rest assured I'm not quitting any time soon. Still have lots to figure out, but not quitting.

3. There is one professional-related thing that I am so bursting to tell you about but can't. It's not a book, but it's something that I'm as excited about and proud of as I am my books and I'm sure that readers of my books are totally gonna love. All I can say now is that you will find out more in early September. As soon as I can tell you, believe me I will. But this Super Sekrit Project has been sucking up a ton of time and is a large reason of why I haven't been blogging. It's like better than blogging though. You'll see.

4. Another professional-related time suck is I'm going to be teaching a Young Adult Fiction class at Columbia College Chicago this fall. I'm excited and nervous and hoping it will help me learn more about my own writing while I'm teaching others, but holy cow is it taking a lot of prep.

5. I'm trying to figure out which of three YA ideas to work on as my next project. It's caused a lot of angst as you might have noticed from this post. After the trouble I had with the bartender book, I'm gun-shy. I don't want to start writing until I've fully plotted, which is so not my usual style. That's it's own separate blog post (unless you think that would be totally boring!) which I will write about once I figure things out a bit more and get deeper into my process. Every book is a new animal. I'm pretty sure I've chosen my next book idea, but we'll see. More on that later.

So yes between all of those things I've been insanely busy and the rest of this month isn't going to be much better, but I do have two more great interviews planned for you (and you can still enter to win Melissa Walker's latest book here). I also want to eventually (sometime this week or next week I hope!) tell you about going to see the original version of the play Grease here in Chicago a couple of weeks ago. It was amazing and I have so much to say about it. I'll do my best to get a post up about it before I go on vacation on the 20th. Yes!!!! I get a vacation! Dudes, I need a vacation so bad and it is with two of my bestest girl friends in my favorite city on earth, Seattle, so I am thrilled!

I will definitely be blogging at Teen Fiction Cafe this Thursday, probably about my favorite places in Seattle, and there is going to be some seriously cool stuff going on at TFC soon (that does involve winning/earning free books!), so keep your eye on that site.

Next Tuesday you will find me at my other group blog, YA Outside The Lines talking about beginnings and endings and probably about this new YA book project I'm trying to get settled into. We are doing something cool at YAOTL for September where we are going to pick our topics from questions that readers ask. So if you have a question that you'd like to see one of your favorite YA authors answer-- a serious question or a totally goofy, off-the-wall one, please send it to blog administrator, Holly Schindler, at writehollyschindler (at) yahoo (dot) com. Nothing's off limits!

Actually come to think of it, that might be a good idea for me personally to do on this blog too. So if there are certain things you'd like me personally to blog about or reflect on in the future, please leave a comment. I can't promise I'll get to them all and I may not get to any of them until September, but I really could use your feedback about what would make reading this blog enjoyable because as long as it stays enjoyable for me as a writer and you guys as readers, I will continue to maintain it... even if it does get spotty when life gets hectic. Again, I apologize for that and appreciate all of your comments and hope you are having a fabulous summer!

Women Who Rock Wednesday: Melissa Walker!

2011-08-03T07:31:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Women Who Rock Wednesday! Before we meet today's guest, I have a book to give away. The winner of Jon Skovron's MISFIT is Jasmine1485 from blogger! Congrats! I will email you for your address!

Today's Woman Who Rocks, Melissa Walker rocks extra hard because not only did she have a new book, SMALL TOWN SINNERS, come out last month, she gave birth to her first baby this week!!!! Can we all please say congratulations?

I love and adore Melissa. Along with Mari Mancusi, our daily Twitter check-ins and cheerleading helped me finally finish the Bartender Book. Plus she was a blast to hang out with in New York last year. But most importantly, she writes amazing books! I have SMALL TOWN SINNERS on my shelf, waiting to be read as soon as I get through the books I have to read for a class I'm teaching this fall. I think that after hearing about it, you will be dying to read it to, so let's get this interview going and meet Melissa, shall we?

Q: Please tell us what SMALL TOWN SINNERSis about and what inspired you to write it.

MELISSA: Small Town Sinners is the story of a girl who's grown up in an evangelical community. She dreams of starring in her church's Hell House production and has never really questioned what she's been taught at home or in the church. But then she starts to look around and see injustices among her friends, she meets a boy who asks questions, and she starts to realize that faith isn't always black and white. I was inspired by a story I wrote for ELLEgirl in 2005--meeting the people of this small town and watching them put together their Hell House production was truly an experience that stayed with me. I had to write more about it. Here's the original article.

Q: If there was a soundtrack for your book what are five songs that would be on it and how do they relate the story?

MELISSA: It's funny because this music isn't so much "my" music, really, but it feels very right for the characters, so here goes:

1. Love Story-Taylor Swift. Lacey Anne is definitely a girl who believes in true love and happy endings, so this song--and its fairy tale message--is one of her favorites, no doubt in my mind.

2. Wild Horses-The Rolling Stones. Ty is a big classic rock fan, and I always imagined him listening to this song in his car, thinking about his past and his hometown of West River.

3. Firework-Katy Perry. Lacey's best friend Starla Joy is all about bright pink lipstick and a spitfire attitude, much like Ms. Perry.

4. She's in Love With the Boy-Trisha Yearwood. A 90s country classic, this is the quintessential small-town love story that Lacey, at least at first, hopes will be hers.

5. Oh Very Young-Van Morrison. Another Ty favorite, this song poignantly gets to the loss of innocence in the book.

Q: Who were some of your inspirations to become a writer or the inspirations that keep you writing? Feel free to include other authors, teachers, parents, or people in other creative fields, whoever is an inspiration to you!

MELISSA: So many people, but just to name one I'll say fellow YA author Carolyn Mackler, who really helped me start out with pitching my first book (and having the confidence to even say "Maybe I want to write a YA novel"). She's the best.

Q: Even though music plays in so heavily into my storytelling, I rarely can actually listen to it while I'm writing. Can you? How does music fit into your writing process?

MELISSA: Sometimes if I want to create a certain emotion that I'm just not feeling naturally, I'll turn on some songs to try to evoke that mood. It definitely helps, but I only use it every once in a while. Usually I write without music.

Q: What is next for you? What are you working on now?

MELISSA: My next book, UNBREAK MY HEART, will be out in May 2012. It's about friendships and betrayal and summer love... stay tuned.

Q: I have two questions that I always ask my Women Who Rock, the first is a two-parter.
What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge, we like to see the roots of our women who rock!

MELISSA: First album: Thriller, Michael Jackson. It was a cassette tape. My first vinyl was Cyndi Lauper's She's So Unusual. I loved MTV and these guys were in heavy rotation. First show: 6th grade, Poison--Open Up and Say Ahhh... tour. Tesla opened. Oh man, I loved it. Fallen Angel, Every Rose Has its Thorn? Somebody get me a lighter!

Q: Tell us about your biggest rock star moment, perhaps it's a moment of real success in your career, a time when you met someone super cool and had that Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" moment, or just a time where you felt like you got the rock star treatment.

MELISSA: I've had a few of these since becoming an author, but one huge one was being able to pose with the amazing Sarah Dessen for the cover of our hometown magazine, Chapel Hill Magazine. I could not believe I was back to back with Sarah in our high school hallway--she is a huge inspiration to me and to be included in that article was a dream come true! You can see the full article here.

Umm yeah, that is definitely one of the coolest rock star moments I've heard for sure!

Today's Contest:

After hearing more about it, I'm guessing you want SMALL TOWN SINNERS and you are in luck! Melissa is offering up a copy!

This contest is open to international entries!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about SMALL TOWN SINNERS
+5 for blogging about SMALL TOWN SINNERS

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win. I will be drawing the winner on August 17 when I bring you the next Women Who Rock Wednesday interview, which will be with Arlaina Tibensky!

GCC Presents: Jennifer Echols!

2011-07-29T05:25:00.000-05:00

I'm thrilled to host Jennifer Echols, my MTV Books sister, on her Girlfriends Cyber Circuit tour in support of her latest release LOVE STORY.

I'm really excited to read this one because Jenn writes some of the best romantic drama around! (And her romantic comedies are a blast, too!) Here are the details on LOVE STORY:

For Erin Blackwell, majoring in creative writing at the New York City college of her dreams is more than a chance to fulfill her ambitions – it’s her ticket away from the tragic memories that shadow her family’s racehorse farm in Kentucky. But when she refuses to major in business and take over the farm herself someday, her grandmother gives Erin’s college tuition and promised inheritance to their maddeningly handsome stable boy, Hunter Allen. Now Erin has to win an internship and work late nights at a local coffee shop to make her own dreams a reality. She should despise Hunter… so why does he sneak into her thoughts as the hero of her latest writing assignment?

Then, on the day she’s sharing that assignment with her class, Hunter walks in. He’s joining her class. And after he reads about himself in her story, her private fantasies about him must be painfully clear. She only hopes to persuade him not to reveal her secret to everyone else. But Hunter devises his own creative revenge, writing sexy stories that drive the whole class wild with curiosity and fill Erin’s heart with longing. Now she’s not just imagining what might have been. She’s writing a whole new ending for her romance with Hunter… except this story could come true.

Now let's meet Jenn and get the full scoop, shall we?

Q: Please tell us what your new book is about and what inspired you to write it.

Jenn: I have been in a lot of creative writing classes. The authors in them are always so invested in their writing. They are putting their hearts on their sleeves, and then other people are CRITIQUING them! So the classes are always very emotional, and I have witnessed some big, ugly arguments! (I MIGHT have been in one of these big, ugly arguments myself.) I thought this would make a great background for a romance.

Q: If there was a soundtrack for your book what are four songs that would be on it and how do they relate the story?

Jenn: Lonely Day by Phantom Planet. Hunter and Erin each have two roommates in their New York City college dorm. They are never alone, yet they’re both very lonely, unable to connect with each other.

There for You by Flyleaf. Even though these characters aren’t getting along with each other, they are constantly watching each other’s backs in the big city.

I Won’t Let Go by Rascal Flatts. Near the end of the book, as Hunter and Erin slow-dance in the middle of the techno dance club, Hunter whispers that they are really dancing to a country song. This is it.

The Only Exception by Paramore. If you’ve heard this song, I think it needs no explanation. After a lifetime of failed relationships, finding your soulmate is like coming home.

Q: What is next for you? What are you working on now?

Jenn: I’m writing a romantic comedy that will be published by Simon Pulse in December. I hope I will have a cover and a title soon! Then I’m finishing SUCH A RUSH, my new romantic drama that will be my hardcover debut in July 2012.

A Writing Conundrum

2011-07-27T12:30:00.002-05:00

So I've had this concept that I've wanted to make into a story for more than 3 years now. I've tried it a few different ways, adjusting the plot line, the world (the real world vs. a more fantastical setting), the title, the character names. There has always been something Not Quite Right.

Since I've finished (for now, there is no such thing as finished til it is published) with The Bartender Book, I felt I should move back to this one. This is kind of how I work since I'm a slow writer. I have kind of a catalog of ideas in my brain that stew for quite some time and eventually I get back to them. This is the concept I've had for almost as long if not longer than The Bartender Book, so it seems that naturally it should be the next book I write.

But here's the thing. I've been stewing on it for a few weeks now and while I have these pieces of a puzzle that I think are brilliant and utterly unique. I can't seem to arrange them into a story. Normally this is not an issue for me. I'm not a plotter. I dive into the scene that I can't get out of my head and I just go. I figure out from there who my characters are, what they want, what is stopping them, where they came from and where they are going. I write for a little while and then I plot or at least I put the bigger chunks of plot that I know in order and then just go back to writing and it comes together-- not necessarily easily. I usually completely panic somewhere around the 3/4 mark and I'm never happy with it until I've been through a couple rounds of revisions, but that is how I work.

It's how I worked on my first couple attempts on this book idea, I had full story arcs for them, but they were Not Right. Maybe that's why this is happening now. I don't want to write 50 or 75 pages of this story again and have it fail. Maybe it's just the kind of story that is going to need a world and need rules (because it will probably be fantasy to some degree, whether straight up urban fantasy or mostly realistic with a twist is still to be determined) and I feel like I need to know them. Maybe I'm just scared shitless because this story puts me outside of the boundaries of what I usually write. All I know is that for much of the past month and definitely for the past four days, I have sat down with this scene in my head and can't write more a than a hundred words or so, usually just changing words that are already written because I need to know my characters' history, I need to know where they are going and most of all I need to know their fucking names!!! (Because their names will be determined by certain traits, which I need to figure out.)

So I keep freezing up. Earlier this month and last month there were reasons. The past six weeks or so have been a shitstorm, hence I haven't blogged, much of it is far too personal to blog and I didn't want to come off as whiny. But we'll just say that no part of my life has escaped the shitstorm. I've had friends going through really rough times, family members who are sick, problems with our car and our house, business at the bar AKA my main source of income has been slow, I've had some serious doubts about my writing career. You know how bad things happen in threes, well for me it's three times three. I'm sure I'll go more into depth at some point once I'm feeling up to it, but the last two weeks were just pure hell of wanting to give up on everything completely. However, I'm kind of a hopeless optimist so this week I decided to push forward despite all the crap. I'm motivated. More motivated than I have been in a couple of months, but when I sit down to write....

I do have this other idea. It's newer. I struggled with it for about a week, but then it seemed to start flowing. The thing is of course it will flow for me, it's the kind of book I'm most naturally drawn to writing: a contemporary, realistic, coming of age, girl dealing with a really rough time in her life story. I love writing these stories. I love reading these stories. So why did I stop and go back to the other, older idea? I have a few reasons. Some of them are good, some bad, some mixed.

1. The older idea has been stewing for longer. It feels like it has waited it's turn and it's time should be now. I love the idea, I just need the right story arc for it.

2. The older idea is different since it is either paranormal or realistic with a twist. I've written three realistic books. I feel like now is the time to challenge myself and try new things.

3. This is the "bad reason." As we all know the market is not good for realistic contemporary. This other idea is high concept, has a twist of paranormal/magical realism, may sell and be promoted better. I didn't come up with the idea because I was trying to find something marketable, but this just happens to be marketable.

So now, what do I do?

Keep stewing on the older idea til something clicks? I don't really like stewing. I know it is necessary, but it doesn't feel like I'm working. It feels like I'm wasting time and I already am beating myself up for July, my best writing month, being wasted. August is going to be the month of travel and preparing for teaching and for this sekrit freelance project. Maybe stewing is actually plotting and I just don't know how to do it and those of you who are more experienced with plotting can give me some pointers. So far my approach has been trying to make notes, trying to make a plot summary, trying to listen to music to inspire me, making more notes, trying to write a scene, bombarding my writer friends with emails about my ideas, reading.

Or do I write the newer idea even though I have all these doubts about it that it's not commercial enough or that it's just me writing the same sort of book again. Maybe if I work on it, the other book will click or maybe this one will take hold and it won't matter.

Is this what happens every time I start a book, but I just don't remember? Do I have a genius idea and have a hard time launching it? It seems to me that that isn't supposed to be how it works. Normally I write 50 pages or so before getting stuck for the first time. Is that how it works for most people or do others sit and stew on an idea for weeks and not worry that it's not coming together fast enough, just let themselves daydream and read and listen to music without any pressure? I'm really not sure I can do that. I'm kind of suffering here without putting words on a page, completing a scene or at least having really good ideas about what is going to happen.

So that's what's going on. I'm, motivated. I'm enthusiastic. I just don't seem to have a gut instinct about what book to choose to write and/or I've frozen up under the pressure. Advise me please.

Guys Rock Too Thursday!: Jon Skovron

2011-07-21T10:52:00.003-05:00

I started Women Who Rock Wednesday to spotlight the female writers, musicians, and artists I adore. However, there are a lot of guys who rock out there, too, and I wanted to have an opportunity to let you know about what they are putting out there. Back in May, I did my first Guys Rock Too Thursday with Daniel Kraus and planned to sporadically run other interviews when the opportunity struck and now that time has come again.

Jon Skovron, author of STRUTS AND FRETS (AKA one of my favorite YA books ever. Seriously this guy kills at writing about music and work harder to meet the high standard he sets), has a new book out called MISFIT that is coming out on August 1. And I'm honored to say that he gave me an interview and is giving YOU the opportunity to win a sign MISFIT galley.

Speaking of giveaways, we have one to do really quick. The winner of CHEAT SHEET by Rea Frey, my last WWRW guest, is Bean from blogger! Bean, I may have your email address from previous contests, but if you don't hear from me, email me at stephanie at stephaniekuehnert dot com.

Now on to meet Jon and hear about MISFIT which I am really psyched to read and will bet that you are gonna be dying to win!

Q: Tell us what MISFIT is about and what inspired you to write it.

JON: MISFIT is about many things: forbidden love, family, loyalty, friendship, kindness, betrayal, adventure, mythology, science, religion, believing in yourself, not letting others define you, and a lot more. But mostly, it's about this demon girl in Catholic School.

As for what inspired me to write it, I attended Catholic school all twelve years of primary and secondary education, and even went to an all-boys Catholic prep high school. It was a great education, but I didn't fit in very well. A lot of what MISFIT is about is this struggle many teens have to find their place in a world that doesn't seem to offer them anything past a strict mainstream traditional mold. I've taken the idea about as far as it will go, I think.

Plus, there are cool monsters.

Q: If you had a soundtrack for MISFIT, what are five songs that would be on it and how do they relate to the story or characters?

JON: STRUTS & FRETS was all about the indie rock, mostly male vocals. That was because the protagonist was male and in an indie rock band. The female protagonist for MISFIT, Jael Thompson, is someone who is deeply grounded. So I listened to a lot of female artists that I felt have the same sort of strong individualism that she does.

Troubled Waters - Cat Power

I listened to this song nearly every time I sat down to write the first draft. It's raw, earthy, simplicity is the perfect song for Jael. Plus the lyric "I must be one of the devil's daughters".

Samson - Regina Spektor

One of the chapters is inspired directly by this song. Its blend of sweetness, melancholy, and irreverent good humor is perfect.

The Good That Won't Come Out - Rilo Kiley

Jenny Lewis is such a contradiction of opposing beliefs and values. So is Jael. Plus, the idea that there is good inside that has trouble getting out is something Jael struggles with.

I Don't Feel Young - Wye Oak

Jen Wasner breaks my heart every time I hear this song. I would like her to sing this song to me. Um...I'm sure that has something to do with this book...really...
Your Next Bold Move - Ani Difranco

There is no way to sum this one up. The desolation, the anger, the defiant hope.

Here's a link to the playlist for these and other songs that inspired the book.

Q: What or who originally inspired you to write?

JON: Back in middle school I had horrible insomnia, and I used to make up stories in my head just to keep myself entertained. Possibly it was making up stories that kept me awake...ah well. But I didn't write them down. I was too busy writing lyrics to songs.

I kept a journal all through high school and college, but it wasn't until after I graduated from college that it actually occurred to me to try writing books. I was reading WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP by John Irving, and with the arrogance only an early twenty-something recent college grad can muster, I said, "I could do that!"

It took a long time for me to figure out exactly how to do it and what I wanted to write. I loved Neil Gaiman's AMERICAN GODS, Cory Doctorow's DOWN AND OUT IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM, and China Mieville's THE SCAR, and I tried to write stuff like that, but it just wasn't quite working. It wasn't quite right. Then I read in rapid succession Holly Black's VALIANT, Pete Hautman's GODLESS, and Gabrielle Zevine's ELSEWHERE and I realized I wanted to write YA.

Q: I know that like me you are a huge music lover. Can you talk a bit about how music figures into your writing? For example can you write while listening to music because freakishly I rarely can.

JON: I totally know what you mean! I can't listen to new music while writing or music I'm not very familiar with. It's too distracting. Instead, I'll just listen to a few songs (see above) that really capture the mood or character for me, and listen to them so much that I'm almost not hearing them. I think they do influence me though, even if I'm not consciously aware of it.
I sometimes think it would be a good idea to write in silence. Like, it would be more pure or something. But with two small kids, the idea of actually achieving silence is pretty much impossible. It's either write to music or write to the sound of epic action figure battles in the next room. Which sometimes I do.

Q: What is next up for the fabulous Jon Skovron?

JON: Hmmm, not quite sure yet. A lot of possibilities, none of them set in stone yet. Get back to me a month or so after MISFIT comes out ;)

Q: I have two standard questions that I ask my women and guys who rock interviewees. The first is a two parter, what was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge.

JON: I am about to utterly destroy any indie cred I might have earned in your eyes. The first album I purchased was Fat by Weird Al Yankovik. The first concert I attended was Milli Vanilli. But in my defense, I wasn't really into music at that point. The first album I truly fell in love with, the one that made me love music, was Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd, given to me by my stepfather.

JON: I love meeting famous authors, people I respect. Pretty much every time I meet Holly Black I'm struck dumb. And I love getting rockstar treatment at book festivals, like Rochester's TBF Live and Austin Teen Book Festival. But the times when I really feel like a rock star are when readers tell me how much my work means to them. Like when I got this email from a teen boy reader who said S&F was the first book he'd ever willingly finished and that he loved reading it so much it made him late for soccer practice twice. Or when this girl introduced herself at a festival and she was so passionate that her hands were shaking and she couldn't really formulate sentences. For me, it doesn't get better than making that kind of impact on readers.

I would have to agree that it really doesn't get any better than that. Also I have a bit of of Weird Al and Milli Vanilli in my past, too. If being honest doesn't get you indie cred than screw it! Thanks for joining us, Jon!

Today's Contest:

After hearing more about it, I'm guessing you want MISFIT and you are in luck! Jon is offering up a a signed galley of it!

This contest is open to international entries!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about MISFIT
+5 for blogging about MISFIT

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win. I will be drawing the winner on July 27 during my next Women Who Rock Wednesday interview!

Goodbye Q101

2011-07-14T15:05:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't have time to write a Tunes Tuesday post this week and I haven't done a Memory Monday in a while, but this post will be a mixture of the two. Unfortunately it's a very sad post.

After today, Chicago will no longer have an Alternative Rock radio station.

Tears actually welled up in my eyes as I typed that.

Q101, which started an all-alternative rock format in 1992, was bought out a couple weeks ago and there were rumors that it would change to an all-news/talk radio format. I tried to ignore these rumors and tell myself that I didn't really care because I don't listen to the radio much. Every once in a while I borrow my mom's car to run errands and forget my iPod and I tune in then, usually catching the cool noon request hour called "The Last Letter Game," hosted by a female DJ named Electra, who really likes Tool. Sometimes really late at night when I'm driving home from bartending, I tune in as well and that's my favorite time because I'll catch them playing tunes that are less mainstream like by Fugazi or The Butthole Surfers. In other words that's when I flashback to what Q101 used to be for me.

I started listening to Q101 right when it adopted the alternative rock format, switching my loyalties from the hard rock station The Blaze. I was in 7th grade. It was 1992. I'd gotten into Nirvana the summer before and with them/through them discovered a slew of other bands from The Sex Pistols to Mudhoney to L7. I was addicted to MTV's late night program "120 Minutes" that exposed me to more and more alternative rock bands. Then Q101 came along and the floodgates of music were opened to me. The Lemonheads, Soul Asylum, Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr. Juliana Hatfield, PJ Harvey, The Replacements, Green Day, Tool, Soundgarden, Smashing Pumpkins, Beck, Babes In Toyland, Primus, Rage Against The Machine. I can't remember exactly when or how I discovered each of them whether it was on MTV, Q101, or through reading about them in Spin magazine or in an interview with Kurt Cobain. But Q101 gave me a place to listen to them all the time. I was young and I couldn't afford to buy every CD I loved as soon as I heard it. So I was glued to the radio in my room or to my Walkman when I was walking or rollerblading to school or around town.

Q101 was the first thing that Chicago gave me that felt like mine.

We moved to the Chicago area when I was 8. I've never been completely happy here because you know first impressions.... And my first impression was a lot of really mean kids that I seriously struggled to fit in with. I've said it before and I'll say it repeatedly, when I discovered bands like Nirvana, Faith No More, REM and Hole, I found a voice, I found inner strength, I recognized that I wasn't alone. Listening to Q101 in junior high and freshman year of high school gave me the first real sense of connection I had to Chicago. There was a larger community out there who liked what I liked and I would find them.

Here I am in my bedroom during the fall of my freshman year of high school. I remember that my dad caught me off guard when he took this. I hated having pictures taken of me back then because I hated how I looked, but now I see a beautiful, fresh-faced fourteen year-old girl. Check out the classic grunge look: flannels, corduroys, *and* Doc Martens. It's the trifecta!. And I remember that was listening to Q101 and reading Sassy magazine. You can see evidence of the giant collage that engulfed my entire teenage bedroom, which I talked about today on Teen Fiction Cafe (along sharing a really bad drawing of Kurt Cobain that I did and with my general cluelessness about art, please go over there and school me!) and the old acoustic guitar that I never did learn how to play well.

I remember that at Christmas time they would play full albums and I'd beg my parents to drive around looking at the Christmas lights so I could hear every song of "It's A Shame About Ray" by the Lemonheads just because it was so cool to hear it on the radio, especially in my parents' car, which I convinced them to put a Q101 window decal up in.

I remember discovering local bands like Veruca Salt, who I absolutely heard on Q101 before any place else. They had a Local 101 showcase that introduced me to alt-rock acts and punk bands. They did concert showcases too where I got to see The Lupins and Hum.

I remember the day Kurt Cobain was found dead and the DJs reacting to his suicide in much the same way I did. They did an hour long tribute to him, which I recorded and I still have that cassette tape though I'm almost afraid to listen to it because it's certain to make me sob.

I remember sophomore year when I made my first friend with a driver's license and we all crammed into his family's Saturn, far too many of us than legally fit, me usually sitting on some guys lap, blaring Rage Against The Machine when it came on Q101, screaming along even though could barely breath because the car was so full of cigarette smoke.

I remember a few months after that stoned as hell in the back of someone's minivan making out with a guy I was so crazy about when we heard Bush for the first time and of course we totally hated it. "Did he just say 'Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow?' Who the fuck is this asshole to attempt to rip off both David Bowie and Nirvana?"

And that ushered in the era of "Q101 Sucks" for me. As a bunch of Pearl Jam clones flooded the airwaves, I peeled that window decal off my parents' car ashamed. We wrote "Q101 sucks" on our backpacks and notebooks. We said it to the people handing out stickers after the concerts we went to. Another tape I still have is one my friend Tom made for me the summer between sophomore and junior year which was really more of a sound collage of him switching between his B52s vinyl, his eighth grade band's demo tape, a Latin radio station, and Q101, which mostly was playing Bush that summer and he caught clips of that stupid "Glycerine" song like 6 times in one day of making the tape, though at least he also recorded the Bjork song they played.

They didn't completely suck then, not as bad as they would in a few more years when Creed and Limp Bizkit ruled the airwaves and the tape deck in my car broke making the summer of 1999, the summer of pure musical hell. (Don't even get me started on that asshole Fred Durst who represented the sexist frat mentality that Kurt Cobain loathed yet has a Cobain tattoo on his chest, which I'd like to sandblast off.). But by the mid-nineties alternative had gone mainstream and Q101 like MTV was too busy focusing on hyped up, commercial crap like Bush and forgetting that they used to be about discovering new bands. And to a degree we didn't want them to. Instead of getting excited about hearing a band I loved on the radio, I started to hate the songs on the albums that got radio airplay. I was into Rancid and Op Ivy way before you heard "Time Bomb" or "Ruby Soho" on the radio thank you very much. Ahh teenage self-righteousness. I wanted all of my bands to be MINE and never ever sell-out... whatever that means.

I think the Chicago band Slapstick (members of which went on to be in Alkaline Trio, which Q101 certainly does play now) sums up the decline of Q101 and "alternative rock" in general in their song "Alternative Radio":

Don't wanna hear no alternative music
it don't say anything
I don't like anything about you
1234 Fuck you Alternative radio
This shit's really getting to me
Q101 and fucking MTV
everything just seems to sound the same yeah
don't care about punk rock shows
great spot about the Counting Crows
everything it stands for is so fucking lame
Fuck you Alternative radio
Alternative D.J. isnt your friend when hes cashin in on the latest trend
forty minutes to keep rock commercial free yeah
so much for the music industry
money where the punks be
someone's gotta stand up for the punk rock scene
Fuck you Alternative radio

In all honesty, this might have been when Q101 died for me, all the way back in 1996 or 1997-- certainly in 1999 when the aforementioned Nu Metal awfulness took over and it seemed like rock 'n' roll was a total bore again. Chicagoist said that Q101 hasn't been good in 15 years and it should have burned out rather than fading away and maybe that's true, but I'm too much of a nostalgic, emotional person to agree with that completely or mourn the loss of what was once one of my favorite providers of music.

Q101 meant a lot to me in it's early years. I still have the request line memorized (312-591-8300) from years of calling in to try to win concert tickets or request songs or tell them that they should play something cool and actually alternative for once. I've been trying to call it though I wasn't sure what I'd request. "Mrs. Robinson" by The Lemonheads, which is the first song I remember hearing on Q101? "Seether" by Veruca Salt or "Stars" by Hum, which are songs I know I discovered thanks to Q101? But I can't get through because presumably a lot of Chicagoans are feeling nostalgic today.

I'm disheartened by the fact that new "alternative" (whatever that means anymore) bands will have one less place to be heard. Chicago has two other rock stations, but neither of them focus exclusively on "alternative rock," so there will be a big void for those of us who can't afford satellite radio. And seriously it's a MAJOR SHAME that the city that hosts Lollapalooza, the original celebration of alternative rock won't have an alternative radio station any more. Also now that the first thing that made me feel like I fit in here in Chicago is gone, I've got to say that the pull to move away is even stronger.

It's strange to think that Q101 won't be around to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Nirvana's Nevermind in September. The way we listen to music has evolved so much since I bought that on cassette tape to listen to on my Walkman. And of course it's not just music.

Earlier this year, I learned that I was losing something else that had been significant to me since junior high/early high school, One Life To Live, which again I've had my ups and downs with and I know a lot of people view it as cheesy, but it has meant a lot to me. (And here's the blog reflecting on that.) Last week, the news came out that OLTL had been "saved" by a company that will air it online only. Details on how that will work still aren't entirely clear and I have my doubts that it will ever be the same. The way we are reading is changing, too. I have to say I'm not completely comfortable with it. It scares me a bit and I'm beginning to feel like I can't keep up. The internet changed everything, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst, but that's a whole other thing that I don't really want to get into right now.

Maybe this is all hitting me extra hard because it's the day after my 32nd birthday and I'm already dealing with a mixture of nostalgia and a hell of a lot of uncertainty about the next directions to take with my life and especially my writing. Strangely, I'm feeling as out of place as I did when Q101 went alternative when I was 12. It all comes full-circle, so maybe I should just go lay on my bed, burn some incense and turn the radio up and write in my journal until I figure things out like used to back then.

My one last thought is that I wish Q101 had stayed true to it's less-mainstream roots in the early 90s, though that definitely would not have saved them. While the station isn't perfect, I lost faith in it when I lost faith in "alternative rock" in general, but I know there are still some cool bands out there. In fact, Q101 just played a band that friends of mine have been telling me to check out forever, but I hadn't gotten around to looking up online yet: Mumford & Sons. Sure enough, they were amazing and it brought back that feeling of being twelve and wanting to run out to the record store and look for them.

Thanks for giving me that feeling one last time, Q101. I loved you and I loved to hate you, but mostly I'm grateful for all the music you helped me enjoy.

Women Who Rock Wednesday: Rea Frey!

2011-07-06T05:14:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Women Who Rock Wednesday! Before we meet today's guest, I have a book to give away. The winner of Stacey Jay's DEAD ON THE DELTA is... SammyJones57 from livejournal! Congrats!

This week I'm very excited to introduce you to Rea Frey, who is a woman that I went to school with at Columbia College Chicago and I admire greatly not only for her writing, but also for her healthy lifestyle, which she will talk a bit about in our interview along with her new book, THE CHEAT SHEET: A CLUE BY CLUE GUIDE TO FINDING OUT IF HE'S UNFAITHFUL. Let's meet her shall we?

Q: Tell us about THE CHEAT SHEET. What can readers expect to learn from it and what inspired you to put together this book?

Rea: Despite the title, The Cheat Sheet is for anyone in a relationship or just thinking about getting into a relationship. I find it fascinating that 60% of people who get married will be divorced and that half of men and women are said to cheat at some point in their committed relationships. I feel like we’re doing something wrong. I come from a very committed family. My parents, who have been married 34 years, are so blissfully happy, it was almost confusing growing up. While my friends’ parents got divorced as easily as going on vacation, I was guarded by my parents’ love. I wanted to emulate it. Relationships began to fascinate me. I studied them in school and in psychology. I became the kind of relationship guru – the person people always came to for advice. Confidently (and naively) I got married at 22 and found myself vastly unprepared. Seven years into that relationship, I separated, had an affair with my male best friend and realized that infidelity can happen to anyone at any time. We can convince ourselves of anything if we want it badly enough. After that experience, I really began talking to people about their relationships. Everyone I know has a story about infidelity. So, I decided to write a book about it. This book provides real stories of infidelity, tools to discover cheating, how to get through infidelity with our without your partner and most importantly, how to affair-proof your relationship. It is a book based on reality. Being in a relationship can be tricky. I feel like we get so much pressure from society to grow up and get married, but we’re not provided with the right tools to live happily ever after. I’m hoping this book will provide some accessible tools so people can make their own relationship rules.

Q: Many of my readers are younger, in high school or college, but you and I discussed how hard those first few romantic relationships can be (mine sure as hell were!). Can you share some wisdom about teenage/college-age relationships and what those readers will find beneficial from your book even if they don't necessarily think their partner is cheating on them?

Rea: Your first relationships are often the most intense and impressionable of your life. You’re not yet bombarded with paying bills or having a steady job – you can enjoy each other – you can focus on your feelings and not much else. As we grow older, this is what we often lose sight of: each other. This book reminds you of what’s important at any stage in relationships – focusing on what you appreciate about the person, not what annoys you.

Early relationships can be filled with drama, insecurity, and heartache. First of all, realize that you will change. Your wants will change, your preferences will change, your feelings will change, and your needs will change. We can feel so deeply at such a young age – but when you imagine your life five years from now, understand that the type of people you love now often get complicated with the demands of life. So, enjoy your relationships when you’re young, but don’t cling too tightly to them.

When I think of all the anguish I could have avoided (I was actually a cutter, dealt with an eating disorder and rape), it baffles me. I was so consumed, so lost in myself and other people, that I didn’t see every decision I made was setting the stage for all future relationships. Just as importantly as figuring out what you want is figuring out what you don’t want. Sometimes I think those early relationships can often teach you what you don’t want, so you can figure out what you actually need for the long-term.

This book is a great “prep” tool for the world of adult relationships.

Q: Normally I ask my fiction authors for a soundtrack for their book, songs they were listening to while they were writing. Since your book is a bit different, can you share with us 5 of your favorite songs about infidelity or healing from it or hell, maybe even about love and healthy relationships and tell us what you like about them?

Rea: I hate to break it to you, but I don’t like mushy love songs (I’m so not girly that way)! But, my favorite songs to write to are the following, which happen to deal with love:

1. Tool – The Pot (This song’s lyrics deal with the pot calling the kettle black. I think it’s so easy to play the blame game instead of taking responsibility for our actions a lot of the time. So many issues in relationships have to do with little resentments that build up over time. Talk. Talk a lot. Talk about everything. It works every time.)

2. Esthero –I Drive Alone (This song starts out “Can’t move on but I can’t go home,” which I think speaks true to places we get “stuck” in from time to time – especially with love. I used to listen to this song a lot when I was single, and the fact that I was driving alone listening to a song called “I Drive Alone” gave me an immediate calm. I think it’s so important to spend time with yourself before you get into serious relationships – to make sure you know what you really want, not what you’re taught to want. We’re always in such a rush for love (especially when we’re young). Enjoy being alone. It is such a gift.)

3. Billie Holiday – There Is No Greater Love (One of my favorite artists of all time, Ms. Holiday was a troubled soul. But, I love this song because it’s about pure love in its simplest form; it’s about feeling a great love for the one you’re with. Nothing more. Nothing less.)

4. Martina-Topley Bird – Phoenix (I saw her in concert and just fell in love with her voice and shy nature. This song talks about “round and round we go,” which is like life, love, and everything in between. Sometimes it feels like we’re just having one giant relationship with the world: hopping from person to person, experience to experience. This is why it’s so important to know who you are. Don’t play games.)

5. PJ Harvey with Thom Yorke – The Mess We’re In (The title says it all. How many times do we feel like that? How did we get here? What do I do? Love is a powerful thing – it can lead us to bad decisions, but at the core, it’s a good emotion. Remember that relationships are supposed to make you feel good. Don’t stay in something negative because it’s convenient.)

Q: You aren't just a nonfiction writer. We met of course in a fiction writing program and you are a Jill of all trades. You were a boxer, work as a personal trainer, and write a lot about healthy habits. Can you talk a bit about that side of yourself and give us some links as to where we can find more about that side of you because I think that will be something cool for my readers to check out. I know I love the links and recipes you share on facebook.

Rea: Since I was young, I’ve been active. Thirteen years as a gymnast, five years as a boxer and going on my eleventh year as a personal trainer and nutrition specialist, fitness has always been a vital part of my life. I approach health the same way I approach relationships: there’s no “one size” fits all. It’s all about the individual.

But, as a society, I think we have become really unhealthy and confused. What are we supposed to eat? Which workout is best? How long will my relationship last? What does this text message mean?

Look at our obesity rates. Look at the crap schools feed kids. Look at all the divorces. Look at how sedentary we are. To me, wellness is about being healthy in all aspects of your life: relationships, job, romantic life, and personal life. Hundreds of years ago, we weren’t married to technology. We moved our bodies and we ate food from the ground. We actually talked to each other instead of texting.

Your health is one of the only things you can control, and the healthier you are, the happier you are. It really does feed into every aspect of your life. It’s so important for younger people to realize this – by developing healthy habits, they can virtually erase disease later in life.

In terms of writing, I write for Martha Stewart’s Whole Living site for their Meatless Monday series. I write a weekly vegan column for Cheeky Chicago and contribute to YumUniverse.com. I have my own blog, Clean Convenient Cuisine hosted by the Tribune. I write several relationship columns as well.

Q: Who are some of the people that inspired you and/or continue to inspire you to write--or as an athlete, perhaps other artists, athletes or people from your own life? On WWRW we like to hear about inspiring women in particular, but feel free to include guys too!

Rea: One of the earliest women that inspired me was the boxer Lucia Rijker. I remember going to this little independent theater in Chicago, and watching this beast of a woman box on screen. It wasn’t barbaric. It was grace in motion. It was a ballerina on pointe. It was music every time her fist connected with its target. Alice Walker was another inspiring person growing up. I loved the stripped down version of her work; the way she manipulated words and often left them in their basest form. The first time I saw Maya Angelou speak was breathtaking. Suddenly, I was jealous of her, at such an advanced stage in her career, reflecting, laughing, sitting up there in her rocking chair with her cane, so many decades older and wiser. She had the look of a writer who knew her words have literally changed and shaped lives.

I love the bravery of a writer who sticks to the page; who believes that if they are good enough people will read them, and if not, then perhaps they will make their mark on a select few. I feel like we’ve lost that authenticity a bit these days, and for the younger generations, I worry they won’t read good novels. They won’t peruse the shelves of bookstores and inhale the scent of paper. They won’t be as affected by true artists… we’re so over stimulated, it’s hard to distinguish hard work from a quick payday sometimes. But, I know there’s good everywhere, and keeping our eye on successful, inspirational, positive men and women is always a step in the right direction.

One person in particular who has been such an inspiration to me is a man named Byran Smith. When I was living in Nashville, I signed up to teach adults to read. Byran was 42. He was from Jamaica. He had a wife and four kids, and he was at a second grade reading level. By the time we were done, he could write checks, read his children bedtime stories and help work colleagues spell words. Working so diligently to try and explain our hard (nonsensical) language was one of the toughest and most rewarding experiences of my life. It’s a constant reminder that without words, we have so little, and with words, our lives can become richer and more beautiful than we could have ever dreamed. I think of him and his perseverance whenever I get tired or don’t feel like doing much. His ambition is an ongoing lesson to never lose mine.

Q: You've got so much cool stuff going on. What are the next big things coming down the line for you? Any fiction? Were you serious about that cookbook you mentioned on facebook? (I really hope so!)

Rea: I’ve had my novel sitting in my drawer for years. Now that I’m a nonfiction writer, I panic that fiction might not see the light of day. But, my fiction has always fought with the truth, which is why I naturally gravitate to nonfiction. Since I just wrote a book about relationships, I would love to write a book based on living a balanced life. As I mentioned earlier, health means paying attention to what you feed your body, how you move your body, and who you share your body with. I think they all work together to create the definition of wellness. And yes, I am serious about a cookbook! I want to show people how easy, healthy, and delicious eating a plant-based diet can be. No fake meat. No complicated recipes. Just quick, simple recipes that mimic a lot of regular American fare.

Q: I have two questions that I always ask my Women Who Rock, the first is a two-parter. What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge, we like to see the roots of our women who rock!

Rea: I can’t believe I can’t remember the first album I bought. This could mean a couple of things: I had so much music around, I bought more than one, or I have early onset Alzheimer’s. I grew up in a house full of music; on Saturdays, my parents would put on a Police record or Sting and we would clean for hours. My brother introduced me to all types of music. One of the first was probably a Faith No More album. The first concert I can remember attending is Korn. It was at this little hole in the wall place in Nashville. From that moment, I was hooked to going to shows. Every weekend, for the majority of my teenage life, I would get lost in the thrum of local bands, popular bands, any type of band. Every boyfriend I had through high school was a musician. I loved watching that passion onstage – I would try and emulate that when I wrote. It was and still is so inspiring.

Q: Tell us about your biggest rock star moment, perhaps it's a moment of real success in your career, a time when you met someone super cool and had that Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" moment, or just a time where you felt like you got the rock star treatment. I get a huge variety of answers for the questions, so it's pretty much whatever "rock star moment" means to you!

Rea: I don’t know if this qualifies as a rock star moment, but after my divorce, I moved back to Chicago. I had lost my house, my pets, my relationship and any semblance of a normal life. I didn’t know which way was up, but I knew I wanted to write this book (The Cheat Sheet). However, I didn’t have an agent yet. I moved in with roommates in a loft in the West Loop. I went from a 3,000 sf home to a room without walls. All my belongings were shoved in a closet. I was stripped to the bones. Everyday, I would get up, work out and go to a coffee shop to write. I kept saying, “I need to go to Europe. I need to go to Europe for free. There has to be a way to get there for free. I need to be in Europe.”

A week later, I got a call from a woman I was ghostwriting for. I had written a proposal for her that had landed her a deal with Nestle. She wanted to finish her book and decided to fly me to Switzerland first-class in order to do it. I stayed for 10 days. I climbed the Swiss Alps. I stayed in a hotel outside of Zurich and wrote until my fingers ached. I drank cappuccinos and ate rosti and gelato (pre-vegan days!) and breathed the crisp, fall air. I played by the water and jumped on a trampoline on the side of a mountain and spent days outside constructing someone else’s sentences. At such a lost time in my life, it was exactly what I needed. I’ve always loved helping writers and getting excited about their ideas. Through the entire trip, I think I spent $100. It was an unreal experience – one I will always cherish. It was a definite rock-star moment, for sure.

Today's Contest:

After hearing more about it (and how awesome Rea is; she's definitely one of my inspirations!, I'm guessing you want THE CHEAT SHEET and you are in luck! Rea is offering up a copy!

This contest is open to international entries!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about THE CHEAT SHEET
+5 for blogging about THE CHEAT SHEET

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win. I will be drawing the winner on July 21 (taking next week off because it's my birthday!) when I bring you my second ever Guys Rock, Too! Interview, which will be with another of my writing heroes, Jon Skovron!

Tuesday Tunes: The First Five Rock Bands I Loved

2011-07-05T07:21:00.000-05:00

I'm continuing my summertime trip down memory lane (or through my massive iTunes artist list) reflecting on the music that shaped me during various points of my life. But before we get to that, I want to announce winners from my Tuesday Tunes contest two week ago when I told you about two bands that I've recently fallen totally in love with: Farewell Continental and Wilson.

I have one CD of each to give away and the winner of the Farewell Continental CD is Back2The Beat and the winner of the Wilson CD is Katherine, both from blogger. I will be emailing you both for your addresses, but if I am too slow (and I sometimes am), feel free to email me at stephanie at stephaniekuehnert dot com.

Speaking of contests, you have one more day to enter for a signed copy of Stacey Jay's new book DEAD ON THE DELTA, which I got say is one of my mostly hotly anticipated books of the year and I can't wait to read it. Check out her Women Who Rock Wednesday interview and you will see why! That is also where you enter the contest!

Okay, last week on Tuesday Tunes, I admitted that my first musical love was Madonna. I was mostly a pop/top 40s girl in 4th and 5th grade. (I remember listening to and recording songs off of Casey Kasem's Top 40 on B96 and also loving the DJs Eddy and JoBo, who my mother had a lot more objections to than Madonna.) Though I had genuine love for Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, and Janet Jackson, my listening to Top 40 radio was mainly an attempt to fit in at my grade school. I admittedly bought and enjoyed Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli and C&C Music Factory tapes, but around 5th grade, I started listening to more rock. There were three major influences for this.

One, I spent a lot of time at the library and in addition to checking out books to read by the pool that was two blocks from my house and I visited on a daily basis every summer, I also started checking out tapes to listen to. Perhaps because of my Casey Kasem habit, I grew fascinated with the old Billboard hits from the 50s and 60s. My library had those albums of greatest hits of each year and my absolute favorite was 1963, which had both of these songs on it:

Though my all-time favorite early 60s song was actually from the 1964 Billboard CD:

This led me to change my preferred radio station from 96.3 (B96, Chicago's pop station) to 104.3 which was Chicago's oldies station. You can imagine the relief of my parents as they found the pop channel headache inducing... though of course their relief was short-lived as within a couple years I would discover my preference for punk and metal.

But this brings us to my second rock influence, which was my parents, and the first rock band I fell in love with. My love for early 50s and 60s music quickly led me to The Beatles, the first band I was ever obsessed with. My parents had many of their albums on vinyl and my favorite has always been Abbey Road followed closely by Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band... though I didn't get all the drug references until a good four or five years later.

I definitely had a hippie/greaser phase (oh, I was so in love with the movie/play/soundtrack for Grease) in 6th and 7th grade. This picture of me at 12 pretty much embodies it:

Aside from the Beatles, I didn't pick up much other music from my parents, though. They were into the more folk side of the 60s. I couldn't get into Joan Baez or Joni Mitchell like my mom and I wasn't even all that keen on her favorite band, Fleetwood Mac, led by Stevie Nicks, the woman I was named for. (I find it quite interesting that while my early pop loves both from the 80s and the 60s were women, when I started getting into rock, I mainly listened to men until I discovered punk/alternative.) My dad's favorite was Bob Dylan, which as I've mentioned before, try as I might, I still cannot get past his nasally whine even today. However given my fascination with hippie culture, I did steal my dad's Woodstock soundtrack cassette tapes and after listening to his mind-blowing performance, I also stole Dad's Jimi Hendrix "Are You Experienced?" album, which is probably the thing that led me from my love of The Beatles and lighter 50s and 60s pop/rock into more guitar-driven classic rock and metal.

But the second band that I fell in love with was one I discovered via another parent--my best friend Angela's mom who is a bit younger than my parents and grew up on 70s rock as opposed to 60s rock. This is the band that I've probably caught the most shit for liking (besides Hole, maybe), but I don't care. I'm still a proud fan of RUSH! I definitely like their earliest stuff best because it has the most memories for me. Caress of Steel is my favorite album and I fondly remember the way Angela and I teased my dad with the song, "I Think I'm Going Bald." But my all-time favorite song is "Lakeside Park," and say what you will about Rush, in my mind that song belongs on the soundtrack for BALLADS OF SUBURBIA just as much as any of the punk songs that influenced it. "Lakeside Park" sums up what I was looking for as a teenager. Between that and my early perception that high school and junior high should have been like Degrassi, clearly I should have grown up in Canada.

The third and possibly the biggest influence on my musical tastes may seem strange to anyone younger than me: MTV. I first discovered it in 1989, the summer between fourth and fifth grade, back when it still played music videos. My family didn't have cable, but I met a girl who'd just moved 2 blocks down from me whose brother played on the same little league team as my brother. She lived right across the street from the park where they played and when it got hot or we got bored of watching them, we retreated to her house and watched MTV. It was an overload of awesomeness. At first I was excited about Madonna and Janet Jackson's latest videos, but then I started discovering a wider variety of music. I begged and begged and begged my parents to get cable and it took a year but they finally relented. Then I was creeping into our den at night to watch Headbangers Ball and 120 Minutes. There were so many bands to discover, but the three that meant the most to me at first were these:

Depeche Mode, which felt like a natural transition from my pop phase paved the way for The Cure and the goth phase in my late teens:

R.E.M., which opened me up to the world of indie/alternative rock and also provided me with one of my earliest crushes. I was so in love with the skater boy in this video. And our family dog looked like his dog:

And then there was Faith No More. They were especially huge for me becoming an outlet for my anger when I was being bullied and opening the door to heavier punk and metal bands. And yeah, I also had a huge crush on Mike Patton in this video:

So there they are, the five rock bands that shaped me and sent me looking for other music. Soon after this I would discover Nirvana, my all time favorite band, but I've talked about them at length before, so I'll probably skip ahead down nostalgia lane next week and cover the different phases besides punk and grunge that I went through.

What were some of your earliest rock 'n' roll loves and who or what exposed you to them?

Women Who Rock Wednesday: Stacey Jay!

2011-06-29T04:51:00.001-05:00

Welcome to another Women Who Rock Wednesday! Before we meet today's featured guest, I need to announce the winner of POSSESSION by Elana Johnson.... Battle Studies (aka Andrea) on Live Journal, that would be you! I will contact you ASAP for your address (or feel free to contact me if you see this first)

Now I am super excited, maybe even more excited than usual to feature Stacey Jay. In addition to writing some seriously cool YA novels, Stacey and I seem to find a lot of things in common via twitter so I heart her extra much. And I have been DYING to read her new adult Urban Fantasy, DEAD ON THE DELTA. Deadly faeries + Louisiana Bayou setting + a recommendation from Jeri Smith-Ready + knowing that Stacey is a great YA writer = 1 seriously excited Stephanie. Once I finish reading these last two Harry Potter books in prep for the new movie, I am totally all over this and I have a feeling that once you hear Stacey talk about it, you will be, too, so let's meet her shall we?

Q: Give us the skinny on DEAD ON THE DELTA. What is it about?

Stacey: DEAD ON THE DELTA is the first book in my new urban fantasy series from Pocket books, featuring Annabelle Lee, a woman immune to the venom of the killer fairies that have infested the Mississippi Delta region. Killer fairies, mystery, secrets, lies, relationship drama, and magic--the book has a little of everything.

Here is the trailer:

Q: I've heard a lot of gushing about this book and it's unique premise, can you share a bit about how you got the idea for it?

Stacey: That's great to hear! I'm so, so thrilled that people are enjoying the story, and spreading the word. When I first started brainstorming this concept three years ago, I was living in Arkansas where the mosquitoes are horrendous. You can barely go outside after sundown without getting swarmed. And, of course, being a horror-leaning writer, swatting bloodsuckers made my story-wheels start turning. The original premise was that mosquitoes were biting fairies and then biting people, therefore infecting people with magic and connecting the Fey and human worlds. I was going to call it the Catching Magic series, and it was going to be a young adult project.

But over time--as I continued to brainstorm character and plot--I decided it would be better if the fairies were the creatures doing the infecting. The story got progressively darker from there, and I decided it would be best for DEAD ON THE DELTA to be an adult novel. That gave me the freedom to explore themes I wasn't comfortable exploring in a young adult book. (At least not at that time.)

Q: If you had a soundtrack for DEAD ON THE DELTA, what are five songs that would be on it and how do they remind you of the book or characters?

Stacey: DANCE WITH DEATH by Hurray for the Riff Raff. This is Annabelle's theme song. She's at a low place in her life--and knows it--but she's also at a place where she's keeping it real. I believe some of our biggest growth as people can come after these low, real moments. I'm excited to see who she's going to become in the next book(s).

I'M AN ALCOHOLIC by Dent May and his Magnificent Ukulele. Another Annabelle song, in keeping with her dark sense of humor. (I don't believe Annabelle thinks she's an alcoholic, but she knows she might be becoming a bit too fond of the bottle. Still, she can't take anything too seriously, or she'll take everything too seriously.)

SOLDIER'S JOY 1864 by Guy Clark. This is a great old southern song that I think conveys the spirit of the book and all of the characters in one way or another. Each character has lost something in the fairy emergence, they're coming out of a dark time (and heading into a darker one, but don't tell them that. No need to get them all upset just yet.)

I AM NOT A ROBOT by Marina and the Diamonds. Several of the characters in the book are holding important people/issues in their life at a distance. They're denying who they really are and need to find a way to assimilate their truth with their persona before they become 'robots.'

WINTER WINDS by Mumford and Sons. This is it. The relationships in this book are all winter relationships. They're going to have to do some growing if they're going to make it to spring. (Love this song. Mention of pestilence wins it extra points.)

Q: I'm big on place in story. In my writing, the setting is almost like a character and it sounds like place plays a big role in DEAD ON THE DELTA. Can you talk a bit about how you decided upon the setting and/or how you researched it and built it?

Stacey: The setting is absolutely a character in this book, probably more so than any I've written previously. The post fairy-apocalypse world outside the iron gates of the small southern town of Donaldsonville, Louisiana, is a constant in the mind of every character. The natural world and the bayou that once provided for people in the delta are now a source of fear, predators outnumber prey and people have been shifted to a lower place on the food chain.

I knew I wanted a bayou setting--a special climate where fairies have lived amongst us unnoticed until chemical spills caused their mutation and growth. I also wanted a small Louisiana town near several real life chemical plants. I found Donaldsonville via google and my husband and I drove down there for a three day research trip (during which I took the pictures used in the DEAD ON THE DELTA book trailer). It was a very enlightening three days.

Donaldsonville is in a lot of real life jeopardy. Pollution from the chemical plants is a big problem, to the point the area has been nicknamed "Cancer Alley." A lot of the people I spoke with are worried about the price they're paying living so close to the pollution. D'Ville has an unusually high rate of sickness compared to other small towns. Also a high rate of poverty and illiteracy. There's a bit of a post-apocalyptic feel to the place already, which is sad. Because the people there are wonderful, good people. I've never felt so welcomed in a place so quickly. It sickens me to think that their health is threatened by the chemical companies in Louisiana--who historically have not been forced to play by the rules, even when the clean air act's very existence wasn't being threatened by extremist politicians.

I really came to love Donaldsonville, and I think that helped enrich my fictionalization of the town. I hope in some small way my book can raise awareness of their struggle for cleaner air/water/soil.

Q: Who are some of the people that inspired you and/or continue to inspire you to write, perhaps other artists or people from your own life? On WWRW we like to hear about inspiring women in particular, but feel free to include guys too!

Stacey: My critique partner, Stacia Kane. We've been CPs since 2005, when we were both unpublished and struggling to find time to write in between nursing babies. I've watched her career launch and her writing evolve into stories that take my breath away. (If you haven't read the Unholy Ghosts series, you must. Now. Today!) She's a soul sister of mine and inspires me daily. I'm grateful for her friendship, and so proud to have been a part of her journey.

Q: You are such a productive writer, I am envious. Do you have a clone and if so how do I get one? Just kidding, the serious question is what's next up for you?

Stacey: Don't be envious. I work too much. (No clone, just me and my crazy schedule.) I'm actually going to take a brief hiatus this fall. I've spent the last four years working harder than I should have and I need a break to refill the creative well. My first YA hardcover, JULIET IMMORTAL releases August 9th and then I'm working on edits for two other contracted books (ROMEO REDEEMED, the companion book to JULIET IMMORTAL, and BLOOD ON THE BAYOU, book two of the Annabelle Lee series). After that, I'm going to do nothing but read and hike for most of October. I'm really looking forward to it. I love playing pretend, but sometimes it's important to stop and stick your head out into the real world for awhile, clear out the cobwebs.

Q: I have two questions that I always ask my Women Who Rock, the first is a two-parter. What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge, we like to see the roots of our women who rock!

Stacey: The first album I bought was "She's So Unusual" when I was six years old. Cyndi Lauper. I still love her. My first concert was Chicago when I was ten with my dad (mostly because they were one of the few bands to come to our small town). I was really bothered by how loud the music was and asked if we could leave about 45 minutes in--it took me awhile to grow into my rock. Obviously.

Q: Tell us about your biggest rock star moment, perhaps it's a moment of real success in your career, a time when you met someone super cool and had that Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" moment, or just a time where you felt like you got the rock star treatment. I get a huge variety of answers for the questions, so it's pretty much whatever "rock star moment" means to you!

Stacey: My first signing in Oxford, Mississippi at Square Books Junior is my biggest rock star moment. They had an after party with a punk band and the lead singer had composed a song titled "You are so undead to me" in honor of my book. I was blown away. Best signing ever. Thank you Jill and all the folks at Square Books! (Wish I still had the link to the video of the song. It was awesome.)

Thanks so much for having me, Stephanie! And much rock to all your readers.

Yep, I gotta say that I love Stacey even more after reading that. (I think the fact that she was a Cyndi Lauper girl at 6 gives her major coolness points.) And I'm even more excited about DEAD ON THE DELTA especially after reading about it's real life setting. And after hearing more about it, I'm guessing you are, to, which brings us to...

Today's Contest:

You are in luck! Stacey is offering up a copy of DEAD ON THE DELTA to one fabulous winner! Due to postage expenses this contest will be for US mailing address only, please.

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about DEAD ON THE DELTA
+5 for blogging about DEAD ON THE DELTA

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win. I will be drawing the winner next week on July 6th when I bring you another lovely gal who rocks, Rea Frey!

Tuesday Tunes: Early Influences-- The Pop Era

2011-06-28T05:04:00.000-05:00

I'm enjoying doing weekly music posts. Not so sure people are enjoying reading them, but hopefully cause I think I may keep them up for a while and as I've been hinting I want to talk about some bands/musical phases that I am rediscovering thanks to my Memorial Day weekend activity of uploading pretty much every CD I have that I think might be worth listening to at some point into my iTunes. Plus something about summer just makes me nostalgic. As much as I hated being a teenager, I got the summers mostly free and now I long for those days of driving around aimlessly cranking music.

Before we get into today's nostalgia. I just want to remind you all that I posted some contests last week and these contests are lower on entries than I feel that they should be.

You have the opportunity to win CDs from two bands I recently discovered, Farewell Continental and Wilson. Both are incredibly awesome and in different ways depending on how you feel like dancing and what mood you are in, so read about them here and enter the contest. It's so easy and who doesn't want free music? That contest ends in a week.

But there is another contest that ends TOMORROW. That is for Elana Johnson's new YA book, POSSESSION, which sounds incredible. So check that out and enter for it here.

Okay, Elana was interviewed for Women Who Rock Wednesday and I always ask that question about the first album and the first concert experience though I don't think I've ever answered it myself. Last week on Tuesday Tunes, I told you about my first concert experience. (In that same blog where you can win the Farewell Continental and Wilson CDs, so check it out!)

But now it is time to talk about my first album, or in my case, cassette tape. The first cassette tape I ever received as a gift was "Celebration" by Kool & The Gang. I'm not sure if the album is actually called "Celebration," but I wanted it because of that song, which was played when the Cardinals won the World Series... at least I think they won the World Series, maybe it was just the playoffs... my brother would know this better than me though at the time (6 or 7), I was a huge baseball fanatic and living in St. Louis being raised as a Cardinals fan. (And I still do root for them as my National League team, but when we moved to Chicago, I became a White Sox fan because I wanted to cheer for a team I could actually see play their games.)

Of course my question to my WWRW guests is not what was the first album ever, it's what did you BUY. For me that was this:

As you may have guessed by the watermark that is not my actual tape. I was too lazy to take a picture, but I still have it and the case is all cracked to show my love. I also had a copy of this on CD that someone burned for me at some point and I added to my iTunes in the big upload because I will always have room in my heart for Madonna, at least her albums up to and including the Immaculate Collection. After that I kinda lost interest. She's not as cool as Cyndi Lauper, I can see that now, but at 9 years old or so, Madonna was my numero uno. I ended up seeing my numero dos, Janet Jackson, in concert because Madonna was too expensive and perhaps a little too provocative, though my mom did buy me a t-shirt from the Blonde Ambition Tour to make up for it (she found this at a store, she did not go!)

My mother had no issue at all with the interracial video for "Like A Prayer" and though Mom was raised Catholic the way Madonna used religion in her songs didn't bother her either. That unzipped fly and the cone bra thing was kinda racy and I could tell that made Mom a little nervous, but since I wasn't really emulating that (I liked Madonna's look during the Lucky Star and Who's That Girl and Desperately Seeking Susan eras), she didn't take too much offense with that. This is why my love for Madonna disturbed my mother:

I remember Mom, a NICU nurse (meaning she works with a lot of premature babies, many born to teens), ranting up a storm that she felt this song glamorized teen pregnancy. I seriously recall her mockingly shouting, "I'm keeping my baby, UGH!" Despite being raised Catholic, my mom is feminist and pro-choice and I think she would rather Madonna sing a song about safe sex and considering adoption or even abortion. Though, she probably still wouldn't have liked me making up dancing and roller-skating routines to it at ten.

So there it is, my earliest musical influence and my earliest arguments with my mother about music. Of course by fifth grade, I was pretty much over pop music and discovering the rock 'n' roll that has ruled my life and my headphones ever since. I'll tell you about the bands that kicked that off next week.

But please, be honest and share with me, your childhood music loves and did your parents approve?

GCC Presents: Suzanne Young!

2011-06-27T09:25:00.004-05:00

Summer really is the season for great new books, isn't it? Suzanne Young, a friend of mine from the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit had a new one release last week called A NEED SO BEAUTIFUL.

It sounds amazing so I wanted to give you the details and let Suzanne tell you more about it.

A NEED SO BEAUTIFUL

We all want to be remembered. Charlotte’s destiny is to be Forgotten…

Charlotte's best friend thinks Charlotte might be psychic. Her boyfriend thinks she's cheating on him. But Charlotte knows what's really wrong: She is one of the Forgotten, a kind of angel on earth who feels the Need—a powerful, uncontrollable draw to help someone, usually a stranger.

But Charlotte never wanted this responsibility. What she wants is to help her best friend, whose life is spiraling out of control. She wants to lie in her boyfriend's arms forever. But as the Need grows stronger, it begins to take a dangerous toll on Charlotte. And who she was, is, and will become—her mark on this earth, her very existence—is in jeopardy of disappearing completely.

Charlotte will be forced to choose: Should she embrace her fate as a Forgotten, a fate that promises to rip her from the lives of those she loves forever? Or is she willing to fight against her destiny—no matter how dark the consequences?

Now let's meet Suzanne:

Suzanne Young currently lives in Portland, Oregon, where she uses the rainy weather as an excuse to stay inside and write obsessively. After earning her degree in creative writing, Suzanne spent several years teaching middle school language arts. Now she can be found at home chasing after her two children and poorly behaved dog and writing novels for teens. You can visit her online at www.suzanne-young.blogspot.com or follow her on Twitter @suzanne_young.

Q: Please tell us what your new book is about and what inspired you to write it.

SUZANNE: A NEED SO BEAUTIFUL is about girl compelled to help people, even though her very existence is being erased as she does. The idea began a few years ago. A family member was sick and I was feeling lost. At my lowest point a stranger gave me advice and it helped me through the tough times. I often wondered how she was there, just when I needed her. It sparked the idea of these beings from the light, meant to help others. And A NEED SO BEAUTIFUL was born.

Q: If there was a soundtrack for your book what are five songs that would be on
it and how do they relate the story?

SUZANNE:

Iris by The GooGoo Dolls
Karma Police by Radiohead
Love Song by 311
The Scientist by Coldplay
Just Breathe by Pearl Jam

Q: Even though music plays in so heavily into my storytelling, I rarely can actually listen to it while I'm writing. Can you? How does music fit into your writing process?

Suzanne: I listen to music a lot of the times when writing. More than anything, it’s a quick way for me to get into the mood of the scene.

Q: What is next for you? What are you working on now?

Suzanne: I’m working on sequel, A WANT SO WICKED, and I have a new series, THE PROGRAM, that comes out Spring of 2013 from Simon Pulse.

The Realistic YA Revolution

2011-06-23T04:55:00.001-05:00

I'm all kinds of fired up for revolution this week, aren't I? The #90minWrite revolution (and info on that is here if you haven't seen me tweeting incessantly about it) and now I'm fanning the flames of the Realistic YA Revolution that Tara Kelly is calling for. What can I say? This is how I deal with life when it gets rough. I sulk for awhile and then I remember that only I can change things or decide to be a part of something that is inspiring and will create change. It's a mindset I developed in high school when I discovered Riot Grrrl as I was dealing with the damage caused by an abusive relationship. The cry of "Revolution Girl Style Now!" really motivated me. So why not cry out, "Revolution Writer Style Now!" when I need motivation in that part of my life?

But I digress. We're here to talk about the Realistic YA revolution.

I saw Tara Kelly's blog post about started a Realistic YA revolution a week ago when I was rushing to get packed to travel to a panel called "Writing The Dark" about dealing with realistic, tough issues in YA fiction. Tara talks about the way contemporary realistic YA can be overlooked as these types of books don't often get a big budget from the marketing department. She mentions that she's heard (and I have to) a lot of readers say they *want* more realistic YA out there and they want it to make a splash the way urban fantasy and dystopian has. But in order for publishing houses to seek out more realistic YA and put the money behind it so that it can make a splash, readers have to show how much they want it by buying the amazing books that are already out there. Tara lists some of her favorite realistic YA books (and I was extremely honored that Tara, an author I admire greatly, named IWBYJR and BALLADS to that list). She encourages you to talk about the realistic YA you love in the comments and help spread the word about this realistic YA revolution that we are trying to start. In return, Tara is giving away an ARC of her forthcoming realistic YA, AMPLIFIED, which I for one would die to get my hands on and a bunch of other authors put up signed copies of their books in the contest (including me, I put up BALLADS), so what are you waiting for, read Tara's blog, comment, spread the word and enter! You've got another week, the contest ends June 30th.

I'm glad to see this enthusiasm spreading about contemporary realistic YA books. I was particularly thrilled to read this post on Stacked, which I believe brilliantly sums up contemporary YA as "truth-driven," and says that from a librarian's perspective that is exactly what teens are seeking. I know it is what I was seeking as a teen and as I've repeatedly said that's what drove me to become a writer. I wanted to tell those stories I needed by I couldn't find. On our "Writing The Dark" panel, I was asked why I write about the dark and I explained that I do so to shed light on it. A lot of the issues realistic YA writers write about are shrouded in secrecy or taboo and when a teen is coping with them, he or she feels very isolated. The more conversations that we start about these subjects and the more stories we tell, the more people can find their way out of the darkness and feel less alone.

I read books of all genres, but I tend to always come back to realistic YA as my favorite both to read and to write. The Bartender Book is "women's fiction," my first venture into writing for adults. (I guess. It's kind of crossover-y just like IWBYJR and BALLADS were.) But it is contemporary realistic whatever it is. I know my next project will be YA and right now I'm struggling to choose from three ideas. One is paranormal/urban fantasy, another is post-apocalyptic, and the third, newest idea is another contemporary realistic YA. Maybe it's because it's the newest idea, but right now it is tugging at me the strongest. It's another book that I know will rip me inside out to write like BALLADS did, but it's a story I really want to tell. So for that selfish reason, I would love to see a realistic YA revolution so my book will be able to find a home, but more importantly it will be able to get into the hands of the readers who may need that kind of story. I also want more books like these to read.

These are some of my favorite realistic YA books. If you haven't read them, I urge you to hit up your favorite bookstore or library and check them out to show the world that you are eager to read realistic YA.

To me SPEAK by Laurie Halse Anderson is the mother of all realistic YA. I wish I had this to read in high school. It shows exactly what realistic YA is about: having a voice.

Just Listen by Sarah Dessen is another essential finding your voice, your strength and your place in the world realistic YA read.
Another incredibly powerful book from Laurie Halse Anderson. This one kept me up all night and ripped my heart to shreds.
As Tara says on her blog, I would concur, Courtney Summers reminds me why I write and I wish I could be as amazing as her.

This is another one that might have made life so much easier for me-- or at least I would have felt like someone got it--if I had it as a teen

Tara's book is a must for those who love music and struggled fitting in.

To me this is such a heartbreaking but true statement about where teenage girls fit into the world and what can happen because of it.

One of the most beautiful and heartbreaking stories I've ever read. Laura Wiess is another one of those authors who I totally idolize. She speaks the truth and creates such real, survivor girl characters.
This explores the complexities of the teenage girl friendship in a way I haven't seen done elsewhere and it rang very, very true for me. Scarily true.
Another classic of course. When I was worried about my agent shopping IWBYJR as YA, she told me YA had changed since I was in high school (even though I was only in high school in 1997 which doesn't feel that long ago) and told me to read LOOKING FOR ALASKA. I was floored and realized that yes, finally the YA books that I needed to read were being written.

A book about teen pregnancy that is so much more than a book about teen pregnancy, it's about friendship, family, living in someone's shadow and coming into your own. Again, Holly Cupala=Idol. I aspire to write as beautifully told and meaningful stories as she does.

This one is almost mean of me to mention because I've read it and you can't until October, but do yourself a favor and pre-order it now. This book punched me in the chest so hard. It's as powerful as a Laurie Halse Anderson novel. It may be my favorite book of the year.

And here is the realistic YA that is next on my TBR pile. I've heard so many amazing things about it and after sitting on that panel with Swati and hearing her talk about why she writes realistic YA, well, she is already on my list of literary idols, too.

Feel free to tell me what is next on your realistic YA reading list and what realistic YA means to you. But don't forget to comment on Tara Kelly's blog post too so you will be entered to in the mother of all realistic YA contests.

Viva Contemporary Realistic YA fiction!

Women Who Rock Wednesday: Elana Johnson!

2011-06-22T04:36:00.002-05:00

Welcome back to Women Who Rock Wednesday! See, I'm doing more of them as promised and bringing you some super cool ladies with amazing books out!.

First off, we have a prize to announce. The winner of Jessica Brody's MY LIFE UNDECIDED is Mitzy from blogger! I will be emailing you today, Mitzy, to get your mailing address.

Now let's meet Elana Johnson and learn about her book POSSESSION, which, yes indeed, you will get the chance to win!

Q: Please tell us what your new book is about and what inspired you to write it.

Elana: POSSESSION is about an angry teenage girl who lives in a futuristic society where she can’t make her own choices. Well, that doesn’t really work for her, so she breaks the rules. Chaos ensues.

I wanted to write a dystopian novel, and I love exploring things that cause a strong human emotion—and free will (or the absence thereof) definitely does that.

Q: If there was a soundtrack for your book what are five songs that would be on it and how do they relate the story?

Elana: 1. If You’re Not the One by Daniel Beddingfield (this is Zenn’s song. He’s just so in love with Vi, and can’t understand why he feels that way, and she doesn’t.)

2. Perfect by P!nk (This is Vi’s song. She has so much pressure to conform, to be perfect, and she’s not sure she can shoulder it.)

3. She Will be Loved by Maroon 5 (This is Jag’s song. He’d pretty much do anything to let Vi know how valuable she is.)

4. Waiting for the End by Linkin Park (This is just a great song about the ending of a relationship, of which there are many endings in POSSESSION.)

5. Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones (Just because I like the idea of painting over everything in black to block it out or whatever.)

Q: Who were some of your inspirations to become a writer or the inspirations that keep you writing? Feel free to include other authors, teachers, parents, or people in other creative fields, whoever is an inspiration to you!

Elana: I have two author friends who email with me regularly. Their work ethic constantly inspires me to work harder: Christine Fonseca and Ali Cross.

I also think of Lisa & Laura Roecker and Beth Revis as two inspirations to keep my chin up and keep forging ahead.

Q: Even though music plays in so heavily into my storytelling, I rarely can actually listen to it while I'm writing. Can you? How does music fit into your writing process?

Elana: Oh, yeah. Music is the only thing I have found that drowns out the kids! I love listening to music, especially during the editing stage. It really helps me tune everything else out and focus on what needs to be done.

Q: What is next for you? What are you working on now?

Elana: Up next are edits on the companion novel to POSSESSION. It’s tentatively titled FUGITIVE, and will release in June 2012.

Q: I have two questions that I always ask my Women Who Rock, the first is a two-parter. What was the first album you bought and the first concert you attended? Be honest, we don't judge, we like to see the roots of our women who rock!

Elana: I am lame, but I was an adult before I attended a concert, and it was The Dixie Chicks. *hangs head in shame* I can’t remember the first album I bought…

Q: Tell us about your biggest rock star moment, perhaps it's a moment of real success in your career, a time when you met someone super cool and had that Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" moment, or just a time where you felt like you got the rock star treatment. I get a huge variety of answers for the questions, so it's pretty much whatever "rock star moment" means to you!

Elana: My first rock star moment was when I met LaVell Edwards, the head coach of the Brigham Young University football team. He was buying oranges at the grocery store (who knew celebrities do that??). It was pretty awesome to see someone in real life that you see on TV.

Today's Contest:

After hearing more about it, I'm guessing you want POSSESSION and you are in luck! Elana is offering up a copy!

This contest is open to international entries!

To enter all you have to do is leave a comment. However you can gain additional entries:

+1 for tweeting or posting on facebook about this interview
+1 for tweeting or posting about POSSESSION
+5 for blogging about POSSESSION

Note your additional entries in your comment as well as giving me an email address or some way to contact you if you win. I will be drawing the winner next week on June 29th when I bring you another lovely gal who rocks, Stacey Jay!

Tuesday Tunes: The Joy of New Bands & Small Shows

2011-06-21T06:29:00.001-05:00

The last two weeks have sucked. Holy Hell have they sucked. Mostly it's all shit too personal to share on my blog (yes, I do draw that line sometimes, though I should probably do so more often), but let's just say it's crowning glory was coming home from a lovely panel (more on that later this week) and one-night visit with friends in Wisconsin to find that some asshole kid decided to use our car for BB-gun target practice, shattering both passenger's side windows, denting up the body of the car, and basically costing us a whole bunch of money that we don't have to spare. Of all the crap that has gone down in the past two weeks, that actually registered pretty low on the suckitude meter, so yeah, things have been bad.

I needed a little Chicken Soup for the Soul.... except yanno, my style. Meaning it's vegan, but also not lame, pat on the head, this fuzzy little cliche should make you content. As usual, I relied on music to make things better.

I had a little bright light in my two weeks of suck when a lovely girl named Tiffany tweeted me about seeing my book chilling at the merch table at a show she went to. She thought I'd like to see a picture and that I'd like the band. I always like seeing my book in the wild and I always like music recommendations, so I asked her about the band, Farewell Continental. She said she wasn't the best at describing a band's sound, which I totally get. If I were to describe them, I'd probably generically say "Indie," meaning it's not on the radio (yet... and maybe it is since I don't listen to the radio much anymore), it's not punk or heavy, it's got a bit of that Sonic Youth experimental sort of vibe. But that totally doesn't do the band justice at all, so I'm just going to do what Tiffany did and show you a video:

I was instantly smitten and since I was having an ADD-not-doing-the-90-minute-writing-challenge-like-I-was-supposed-to sort of day, I went to their record label's website and downloaded all of their music. I put it to the ultimate test and went running while I listened to it. I have a love/hate thing with running and need really good music to enjoy it. Generally this means a band that is tried and true and I am currently obsessed with, but even though I didn't know Farewell Continental's songs, they were so catchy, I happily pushed through my run. What can I say, I'm a sucker for girl and boy vocals and songs I can dance to. While posting a dorky, fangirly comment on their facebook page, I saw that they were playing a show at Schuba's, a smaller club in Chicago on a Sunday evening. Sunday's are writing group day for me, but since my writing group is basically just me and a friend who loves discovering new music as much as I do, I proposed to her that we write during the afternoon and make the trek to see Farewell Continental. She was game. I almost bailed after the car window smashing incident the night before, but decided that since the tickets were already bought and paid for, why not go?

I can't tell you how happy I am that I did because I got my vegan faux-chicken noodle soup for the soul in the form of a half an hour of unexpected headbanging.

Hopefully you watched the Farewell Continental video. If not, do that. I'll wait.

Now, picture the band you imagine opening for them.

Did you expect face-melting guitar riffs, pounding drums, throat-shredding vocals, and a frontman banging metal garbage can lids together?

Nope, neither did I. My friend and I were sitting down when Wilson started. Thirty seconds in, we were on our feet because you do not sit down when there is real hardcore on the stage. At the end of the song, the singer instructed us to come closer. He didn't have to ask, we would have anyway. I was awestruck. Suddenly I was back in eighth grade, the year that my best friend moved away and I'd spent a summer at theater camp being bullied and everyone thought I was suicidal, which maybe I kinda was but mostly I was just pissed. That was also when I started discovering bands like Motorhead and early Social Distortion and hardcore punk when it was actually hardcore, pre-guyliner and emo and boys whining about their broken hearts. I had this long, long hair back then and I shaved it underneath, inspired by Mike Patton from Faith No More. It felt so good to whip that hair around to metal and hardcore songs.

Although my hair is short now, that is exactly what I needed and exactly what I did last night. I headbanged my way out of my funk to this beautiful fucking noise, which I think my friend described best by calling it "feral":

Hands down this was one of the best shows I've been to and I've been to hundreds of shows since my very first in 1989. (Janet Jackson, my tenth birthday present, it was so loud that I asked my mom to leave after four songs. The next show was Soul Asylum and Screaming Trees in 1993, the summer before freshman year. Same venue, but I was on the lawn and my eardrums had been damaged by blasting music on headphones for a few years so I didn't wuss out that time.) My first two shows were at a huge outdoor amphitheater in Tinley Park, Illinois that has gone through more names than I have musical phases. My next was at the Aragon Ballroom (or Brawlroom as we lovingly called it), an indoor venue with a 4,500 person capacity, that bands tend to play right before they reach the sports arena fame level. The next was at the Metro, a smaller 1,150 capacity venue that quickly became my favorite place to see shows. Eventually I was spending every weekend and as many weekdays as I could get out of the house at the Fireside Bowl, which makes an appearance in both of my books. It's a bowling alley that let punk bands perform. (I guess it still does, but I don't know. I was constantly hearing that the Fireside was closing/not having bands anymore and then lo and behold another show.) Those Fireside shows were the smallest shows. They were also some of the best.

If I really love a band, I'll go see them wherever. I'm not one of those people who decries sellout once a band I like is playing the Aragon or the Whatever Bank It's Named After Now Amphitheater. At least I'm not anymore. When I was sixteen, I did have a "I will not listen to anyone on a major label" phase. Who doesn't? Now I may make snarky remarks about the other audience members or complain about the sound quality at the I Used To Be Named For A Town But Now I'm Named After An Insurance Company Arena, but I go and I have a good time, an amazing time usually.

But I'll always prefer a small venue and when I went to the show at Schuba's I was reminded why I like the really small ones. Not only does the music sound best, you are more likely to get a bill of bands that are all amazing instead of waiting around through some crappy opening act. I'm not sure why this is, but it's true.

The act between Wilson and Farewell Continental was called Into It.Over It and I say act because it was a guy with his guitar singing those acoustic songs I've been craving lately:

All three performances were stellar. They were totally wildly different, but that is what made the show so perfect.

I used to do this more often, go see a band in a small venue that I'd just started listening to or heard was good. In fact for a few years in high school that was my life. There is nothing more satisfying than discovering a band before they get big and turning your friends on to them. I don't get much of an opportunity to do this anymore, so I wanted to do it with these bands.

I went in knowing that I loved Farewell Continental and that I wanted to share them on the blog so I bought their very last copy of their newest CD. It's kinda beat up because it was taped to their merch table throughout the tour, but Justin and Kari signed it. Then I realized that since Wilson had saved my fucking soul, I had to share them too, so I uploaded the CD of theirs that I bought to my iPod and now I'm going to give it away too. Unfortunately I had this brainstorm on the way home or I would have forked over my last dollars to get something from Into It.Over It too, not to mention I would have asked the guys in Wilson to sign the CD because I did talk to the lead singer and he was super nice. I think he'll be pleased that I am spreading the party.

So what I'm trying to say is...

CONTEST!

This is your chance to win either:

"Standing On The Reel" by Wilson

"Hey, Hey Pioneers!" by Farewell Continental

As usual you get one entry just by commenting. Tell me about your favorite show or a band you discovered, whether you like big venues or small ones, whatever.

Then you can get additional entries as follows:

+1 for following Farewell Continental on Twitter

+1 for liking Farewell Continental on Facebook

+1 for following Wilson on Twitter

+1 for liking Wilson on Facebook

+1 for sharing either band's videos on Twitter or Facebook (and the more you tweet/post, the more entries you get)

+1 for sharing the link to this blog entry on Twitter or Facebook (again, the more you tweet/post...)

+5 for writing your own blog entry about Farewell Continental and/or Wilson

Yeah, that's a lot of ways to enter. That is because I like these bands a hell of a lot and as a fellow struggling artist (writers, bands, we aren't that different), I like to help spread the word.

When you enter, note your additional entries, leave me an email address to contact you, and tell me which CD you would prefer or if you would be okay with either.

Oh, because I have broken car window bills, I can really only afford to ship to US Mailing Addresses only. Sorry, but that's the way it is right now.

I'll draw a winner on Tuesday July 5th. So that's two weeks. Get entering!

The 1.5 Hour Writing Challenge

2011-06-20T17:10:00.005-05:00

ETA: Per my lovely friend Annika's stroke of brilliance, this now renamed "The 90 Minute Writing Challenge" as it is a hell of a lot more tweetable!

Today on Twitter, I called for people to join me in a 1.5 hour writing challenge. A few people joined in. Others asked me later, "What is this 1.5 hour challenge and will you do it again?"

So I decided I better type up a quick explanation.

The Article That Spawned The Idea

Last year when I was struggling hard to get into my first draft of that troublesome but lovely project that my regular blog readers know as The Bartender Book, a friend of mine told me about an article she'd read in the New York Times about how to deal with distraction and our brains being constantly bombarded by information, etc. I tried to find the article again but couldn't so I'm just going to summarize the three major points I took from it and applied to my writing process:

We are at our most focused at the beginning of the day before we are bombarded by email and oooh, look at that cool YouTube video and hey, my friend posted an interesting link on Facebook and holy crap, how is it noon already?
Though we want to be multi-taskers, it often leads to doing a crappy job on things or a task taking much longer than you intended.
And this is the big one: we focus best in hour-and-a-half intervals. Then we need a short break to refresh (though in my case, that break must be closely monitored and can't be doing something too distracting.)

The 1.5 Hour Writing Routine

I consider myself a full-time writer with an additional part-time job (I bartend three nights a week). This means whenever possible, I feel like I should be writing 5 days a week, though being productive for 8 hours a day is not always possible. So using what I gleaned from that article, I came up with my 1.5 hour writing routine. I use this at the beginning or during the hard parts of writing when I can't just get sucked into what I'm writing and binge. Or when the rest of my life is stressful and I'm letting that interfere with getting writing done.

When I get up in the morning the only internet stuff I will do is tweet about a blog post I may have written and scheduled for that day. (I do all blogging and non-writing internet activity in the evening AFTER writing whenever possible.) I exercise, shower, feed my cats and myself, make some tea and head to my computer. I turn off the wireless on my laptop and hide my phone someplace where I can't see it blinking every time I get an email. Then I focus on my writing for a solid hour and a half.

I don't have a word count goal. I learned the hard way that that doesn't work for me. (I wrote really fast and ended up getting 3/4 of the way through The Bartender Book before realizing I had to cut a major plot thread and rein in the story.) Sometimes my first hour-and-a-half is simply rereading what I wrote last and tweaking it. Sometimes I only write a paragraph. Sometimes I cut an rearrange. Sometimes I end up on a massive roll and write a ton. It depends on the project and where I'm at with it.

If I'm not on a tear, I stop after an hour and a half and make lunch. I take a half an hour break. Since the internet distracts me, I usually only check it quick on my phone to see if there are urgent things. Then I spend my half-an-hour doing whatever little household tasks that may need doing or just eating my lunch and reading a book or magazine.

Then I settle down for the next hour and a half of writing. Again, if I don't get lost in the story, I stop for a fifteen minute break. Then I do my last hour and a half of writing for the day. My routine since I'm a late riser generally looks like this:

10:45 to 12:15: Write

12:15 to 12:45 Lunch Break

12:45 to 2:15: Write

2:15 to 2:30: 15 minute Break

2:30 to 4:00 Write

And after four, I do my internet stuff, get ready for work etc. Sometimes it varies depending on when I get up or if things get hectic that day. Obviously this is easily adaptable for any routine and you can do a single 1.5 hour writing block before or after work if you have a full-time job or kids or whatever else.

It works for me better than word counts because it doesn't put that pressure of writing fast or not editing or whatever else on you. It follows what I believe is the cardinal rule of writing: GET YOUR BUTT IN THE CHAIR.

And Now The Challenge Part

I am no saint at this. I get distracted easily. Particularly if I'm at the beginning of a project or if there is a lot of stress in my life (which pretty much sums up the past two weeks). Another thing I learned while writing The Bartender Book is that I'm better at staying focused when other people are holding me accountable. One day YA authors Melissa Walker and Mari Mancusi and I were all tweeting about how distracted we were and we had been all week and man, we had to be good tomorrow. We decided to check in the next morning, state our goals and use each other to stay off the internet. We've been doing this for quite a while now and it really helps.

Today I was determined to be focused, but my first two writing periods were interrupted by phone calls I absolutely had to take. This happens. However I have a bad habit of using it as an excuse to call my whole day a wash. I decided to use Twitter/Facebook to make myself accountable.

I posted: "Been unfocused today? Me too. So I call a 1.5 hr writing challenge! Get offline, eliminate distractions & c what u can do. Check in @ 4 CST"

I didn't know if people would reply, but I wasn't waiting around to find out. I'd made myself accountable and said I was writing til 4 pm so that's what I was doing.

Like I said, a few people replied, a few people asked me questions after the fact, so now I've decided to start a 1.5 Hour Writing Challenge Revolution!

It's selfish really because it will keep me accountable, but anyone can play and I want as many people as possible to join in. I will be tweeting and posting on facebook when I'm doing one (usually around 10:30 or 11, 12:30 or 1 and 2:30 or 3 CST) and if you see it and have been procrastinating, use it as your cue to GET OFF THE INTERNET AND JOIN IN!

Of course, I don't write every day or at the times of day that some people write, so the revolution depends on others calling out for challenges too. If you have been procrastinating and need to focus and be held accountable to have your butt in the chair, then you should call out for a 1.5 Hour Writing Challenge and catch some other slackers or at least get some work in yourself.

Maybe we can even come up with a cute twitter hashtag or something like #1.5hrWC ? Of course for all the time I spend on twitter, I don't know if there can be periods in hashtags, but whatevs, we'll figure that out. As long as it gets people writing.

So are you up for the challenge?

PS. DAMN, Hashtags definitely don't work with periods in them. Someone else got a cute twitter tag idea?

PPS. We are going with Annika's first suggestion #90minWrite because I like it best, but if someone does think of something better, I'm still open. I just think Annika was being very genius-like as usual.

GCC Presents: Amanda Ashby

2011-06-15T06:00:00.000-05:00

There are a slew of amazing books coming out right now and one of them is FAIRY BAD DAY by Amanda Ashby who is part of the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit with me, so naturally I wanted to bring you an interview with her about the book. Let's get the skinny on FAIRY BAD DAY first, shall we?

It’s going to be a fairy bad day

First, my rightful designation of dragon slayer is STOLEN right out from under me by Curtis Green. Sure, he’s really cute, but that doesn’t give him an excuse.

On top of that, I am assigned to slay fairies. I know what you’re thinking—how hard could it be right? Wrong! These menacing beasts with their tiny hipster clothes and mocking sarcasm love taunting me. And they won’t STOP!

But the thing that tops my list of stuff to ruin my day? That would be the GIANT KILLER FAIRY that I have to hunt down and slay because I am the only one who can see it. There is someone who can help me. Unfortunately… it’s Curtis.

Now let's meet the lovely Amanda!

Q: Please tell us what your new book is about and what inspired you to write it.

Amanda: My new book is Fairy Bad Day and to be honest it all started with the title, which I thought was cute. I wrote a chapter for it but my agent wasn’t keen. However, she agreed that the title was cute and so we brainstormed a new idea and then went from there. And if I’m making that sound easy, then I’m lying! I think because it had such a weird start, it took ages for me to find the true story that was lurking within!

Q: If there was a soundtrack for your book what are five songs that would be on it and how do they relate the story?

Amanda: I actually wrote Fairy Bad Day over two years ago and since then my laptop died, taking with it my playlist and I honestly can’t remember all the songs that I had on there, so this is what I would put on it now rather than what was on when I was writing!!!!!!

Dog Days are Over by Florence and the Machine
Modern Love by David Bowie
Hymm to Her by The Pretenders
I Will Always Love You by Dolly Parton
Ant Rap by Adam and the Ants

Q: Who were some of your inspirations to become a writer or the inspirations that keep you writing? Feel free to include other authors, teachers, parents, or people in other creative fields, whoever is an inspiration to you!

Amanda: My desire to become a writer has always stemmed from the books that I’ve read and so to begin with it was just me and the computer trying to figure the whole process out. Since then I’ve met lots of writing friends and some have totally inspired me but the two people who keep me on track every single day are my cps, Sara Hantz and Christina Phillips.

Q: Even though music plays in so heavily into my storytelling, I rarely can actually listen to it while I'm writing. Can you? How does music fit into your writing process?

Amanda: I listen to music everyday when I’m walking, which is also when I do my thinking and plotting, so I really like to have a playlist to inspire me. Sometimes I will have music on when I’m actually writing, but often I’ll be so lost in the story that I won’t even notice that it’s finished!

Q: What is next for you? What are you working on now?

Amanda: I’ve got a middle grade series called Sophie’s Mixed-Up Magic that starts next year, hopefully in summer and I’ve also got a new YA book called Demonosity, which will be out either at the end of 2012 or the beginning of 2013 (and I’m really excited about this one because it has demon knights in it!!!!!!)

Tuesday Tunes: Acoustic Punk

2011-06-14T04:34:00.000-05:00

Some time last year I came up with the idea that at least once a month I'd do a new music Tuesday post to talk about what I've been listening to and find out what you are listening to since I haven't really listened to the radio much in years and MTV hasn't had a cool music video show in even longer and the internet is overflowing with too many bands for me to sort through, so word of mouth is the best way to go.

Of course I've been seriously slacking on the blog front for a while, but I'm trying to find a way to balance out my daily schedule and I need new muses for new writing projects (you can read all about my struggle for balance and attempts to focus on new projects in my latest YA Outside The Lines blog post, by the way), so I'm going to give it a go again.

My latest musical obsession is what I'm going to call acoustic punk for lack of a better term. (Maybe that *is* the term, I'm no music critic, just a music lover.) It seems like a little bit of a contradiction, at least if you think about punk the way I thought about it when I was in high school. The music my parents listened to was acoustic. Growing up, I'd loved some of that stuff (ie. The Beatles) and hated others (ie. Bob Dylan. I'm sorry, I know to some people it's blasphemy, but I really can't stand the sound of his voice. You can blame my father and all the Dylan he inflicted on me during childhood roadtrips.) But by eighth grade or so, I felt like such an outcast and had been bottling up so much anger and sadness about it for so long, I needed my music to match. It had to be loud and furious. Sure I understood that punk was political, a form of protest like the folk my parents listened to in the 60s, but I wanted the bands to shout their political and personal discomforts over raging guitars and drums.

During my teen years, I made few exceptions to this rule, but I rediscovered one of them recently while adding a bunch of my old CDs to my iPod. (This will warrant another blog post or perhaps a series of Tuesday Tunes flashback posts after I work my way through the 3000 songs from my past that I've added.) It's safe to say that I was at my angriest during my junior year of high school. For the most part, I was fueled by Bikini Kill, Heavens to Betsy and Babes in Toyland fueled me. But I also loved Tattle Tale. They were different--cello, acoustic guitar, the occasional acapella duet--but somehow just as raw, in fact maybe even more so because the music felt so vulnerable and maybe because I felt so vulnerable, I couldn't listen to them unless I was in a certain mood. They were alone, late at night, writing in my diary music:

I don't feel that vulnerable anymore. I've stripped away most of the really angry layers and addressed what was underneath. I've learned to deal with my rawest emotions and to channel them into my writing. I went through a massive Johnny Cash phase while writing BALLADS OF SUBURBIA because I was trying to produce something as earnest and real as that man with his deep voice and his guitar. Ever since then I've been seeking out more and more of that--songs that feel like stories whether they be stories about a political event or the state of our world or stories about someone's personal growth and experiences. I was pleased to discover there was a type of punk rock that fits that particular mood of mine perfectly. The so-real-it-hurts mood, when you want to crawl inside your own head (or often in my case, the head of a character) or put your finger right on that throbbing raw nerve.

Dave Hause, lead singer of The Loved Ones, recently put out a solo album that kicked off this acoustic punk obsession of mine. His album Resolutions as been playing on my iPod and my record player pretty much nonstop since February. Maybe it's that "early thirties thing" he's singing about, but I haven't related so strongly to an album on such a personal level since I heard Hole's Pretty On The Inside in junior high or Sleater-Kinney's first EP junior year of high school or The Distillers' Coral Fang in my mid-twenties when I was coming out of a messy 8-year relationship and finally learned to use words instead of substances to heal. All of those albums are filled with loud, dark songs sung by women. This is a softer, more reflective album sung by a man, but nothing else has summed up how I feel as someone who is struggling to make a living off of their art, but wondering if the time will come that they have to get an office job and a 401K. I hear my own self-doubts. I hear the restlessness I've been feeling stuck in the same general area where I grew up, longing to move away from the winters that drag me down, but again can I take that risk, can I live in the city I love and still afford to be the struggling writer. I hear my own story of a fucked-up teenager who has grown up and feels relieved to have survived, but sometimes gets nostalgic and tempted. I hear my own thankfulness for the amazing friends that helped her through. And I hear stories of the characters I write about, too. ("C'mon Kid" could be the theme song of the Bartender Book--well, one of them.)

Once I realized how much I loved the sound of Dave Hause's record, I started searching my collection for things that I might have picked up in the past that were similar and I'd overlooked because I was in the wrong place for it. Admittedly even though I'm not that angry, fucked-up teenager anymore, loud, distorted punk is still the main thing I listen to. I also tend to obsess on one band or type of sound for awhile and if I buy something new that doesn't fit with it, it gets set aside.

My husband who is a huge Hot Water Music fan had actually been the one to download Chuck Ragan's solo album Feast or Famine. He'd played it for me a few times, but I always when I was on a Civet and Social Distortion kick or an Alice In Chains and Soundgarden kick or something else that just didn't jive. I saw on twitter that Chuck Ragan and Dave Hause were touring together (and god, why couldn't they have come to Chicago together because it would have been me and the spouse's dream show!) and it reminded me that I had Feast or Famine and should give it another listen.

Sure enough, now I'm hooked. This is like my Bob Dylan, complete with harmonica, which I must admit is an instrument I used to loathe partially because of the aforementioned childhood road trip trauma and partially because of teenage bad alt rock ala Blues Traveler trauma. While I still can't deal with Bob Dylan's voice, I appreciate the kind of stories he tells through his songs and how they struck a chord with my father and my brother. Fortunately I have Chuck Ragan to sing songs with the perfect mixture of the political and the personal, but the kind of raw, punk voice I adore:

So that's what I've been listening to lately. Check out Tattle Tale, Dave Hause and Chuck Ragan if you're in the mood for something stripped down to the most raw and real punk rock heart.

And hit me up with your recommendations. Maybe you know of other similar stripped down punk artists I should check out or perhaps you have a different obsession and can launch me into a whole new phase.

Warning: This Post May Leave You Humming For Days

2011-06-10T05:02:00.003-05:00

It's been kind of a stressful week so I felt a lighthearted blog post was in order.

On Monday, which oddly enough was the best day of my week, a friend from high school posted on facebook that she had this song stuck in her head:

Take The Skinheads Bowling - MyVideo

Even though she said that it had been in her head for a week and was getting rather annoying, I got super excited because I'd completely forgotten about Camper Van Beethoven and this song, which has always made me happy.

But um, now it is has been in my head for a week. It probably didn't help that I picked up a shift at the bar on Monday night and it was super slow, so one of my three friends/customers who was there decided beer bottle bowling was in order... utilizing an exercise ball (I don't even want to explain how we got an exercise ball at the bar) as a bowling ball. I tried to take pictures but it was too dark for my phone, so you'll just have to trust that it was a seriously hilarious experience. However, my friend Mark who was there has recently shaved his head...

*Hums "Take the skinheads bowling, take them bowling!"*

So I went to bed that night with the song in my head. Fortunately I was able to sleep. That's the worst when you can't sleep or your sick or something and you have a song in your head. Pure torture. At least for me. (And now for one of the characters in my bartender book as I stole from myself for her. She hears Morrissey singing both times she's in labor.)

The song has remained in my head all week and like my friend said, it's definitely getting annoying. At one point I tried to tell myself that at least it wasn't that Proclaimers song from Benny and Joon.

Did you click on that? I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better just *thinking* about that song caused it to take over from Camper Van Beethoven for a few maddening hours. That song was in my head for like 2 weeks once and it was a very miserable time. So I tried to think of another catchy tune to get it out and I settled on this:

Oh, Punk Rock Girl. I kind of wanted to name I WANNA BE YOUR JOEY RAMONE after that song, but since MTV Books already had a book called, GRAFFITI GIRL (a really freakin' awesome book by the way), my editor told me that unfortunately it was out, but we still bonded over a mutual love for the Dead Milkmen.

Anyway "Punk Rock Girl" is another one that will stick in your brain... Though in my case, I'm back to those bowling skinheads because last night at the bar it was slow at the very end and we broke out the exercise ball to bowl down some empty beer bottles again. Even though my shaved-head friend was not present, the mere mention of bowling brought it back.

So let's see if you can get a different song to infiltrate whatever part of the brain that music gets stuck in for the weekend. Preferably one with an awesome 80s/early 90s music video because that makes the torture worth it. (Except in the case of that Proclaimers song. Even seeing adorable Johnny Depp as Benny does NOT make it worth it. I'm really sorry about that one.) What song or songs have taken up a long residence in your head?